Last year The London Guardian reported the story of a woman who once worked with him who has alleged that, one day on set, she went to fetch Schwarzenegger from his trailer when a shot became possible earlier than expected, only to discover him performing oral sex on a woman she didn't recognize. He looked up and explained: "Eating isn't cheating."

ArnoldExposed.com

http://mikemannstoptengreatestposts.blogspot.com/

Let the search committee begin.

I want to nominate "Dance music is pretty gay." from an 11/8/2004 post.

That's going to go down as one of the classics.

I've really churned out some good ones lately. I think all of you should compile a committee to rank my top ten posts sometime.

I know how that feels LPS. I'm not known for being that funny, but the other day at work I said something so funny that it made 4 guys laugh, and a girl push me down into some rocks.

We were outside comparing girls' butts and I told this one girl that while her butt was fine it paled in comparison to this other girl's butt. Then I told her that her butt was a "lunch portion" compared to the other girl.

I think it was so funny because we all work at the Olive Garden.

OK these guys look like assholes. http://trui.blogspot.com/ They will be our rival. Piss them off Matt. Send them a letter.

We will annihilate the "truitjes webplaats."

Hey guys (and feminists) I think we should consider a rival blog. Can you get on that Matt? Piss somebody on the internet off.

I want to be the first to post: "Shame on them" and "How dare they?"

How How How ... How dare they?

Shame .. Shame Shame on ... Shame on them

Hey Hey - Politics: Condi Rice is no longer Natl. SEC. ADV. That's good news for the United States of America and this Boiling Cauldran of Hatred we call Earth.

Fall: It's that time of the year again to put on a sweater, jump in a pile of leaves, and feel up an underage girl in corduroys.

Fall: It's that time of the year agian to put on your carhardts, push matt k. in a pile of leaves, and feel up a "betty" in a pair of overalls.

Warning! Self Gratification Material Ahead:

Meaning of TUBER
Pronunciation: 'toobur

A starchy storage organ (such as a potato) formed by swelling of an underground stem or the distal end of a root.

I believe "Cline Felter" comes from the German "Cline Felcher", which means "to felch in a clinical setting under the auspices of hot nurses."

Or it could be a perversion of my co-worker's last name, Mark Clotfelter, who himself is a pervert and a member of this blog.

BTW, I love the name Pop Culture Jones. And I must say, *finger point, wink* "Back atcha!"

ODB, Dirt McGirt, Osirus, Joe Bannanas, Dirt Dog, and Big Baby Jesus are all dead.

You put Yassar into the mix that's 8 crazy mother fuckers dead.

to expound on that lps: the leading cause of death among young women is "men."

Holy fuck me: Bright Eyes' two new singles-- "Lua" and "Take It Easy (Love Nothing) have taken the #1 and #2 spots on Billboard's singles chart.

I thought I heard that weasal on the radio.

Anybody up for throwing rocks tonight?

It's just not the same without Yassar.

Billboards are litter on a stick!

oh yeah... and a mommy update....

It looks like my mom probably gets to go home tomorrow.
YEAH!!!!!! (my dad needs to sleep!)

will there be any beavers in any downtown bars tonight?
I feel like I need a good old fashioned "boys night out"

The number forty is used by God to represent a period of testing or judgment (the length of time necessary to accomplish some major part of Gods plan in his dealings with various portions of mankind). The 40 days of rain in the days of the flood were the judgments of God. The 40 day periods of fasting, testing, and communing with God that were faced by Moses and Jesus were a form of God's judgments. The forty years that the Israelites spent in the wilderness were also the judgments of God. Various leaders in Israel who reigned for 40 year periods were put there BY God according to His Will and Judgments. Egypt was left desolate for 40 years because of God's judgments.

Mattie...
when you get to the mount....
I suggest 40 days and 40 nights. It's a good thing that you still have my tent!
The number 40 seemed to do lots of good in bible times. Seemed to work for Jesus and his followers.

Noah and the ark... . It rained for 40 days and 40 nights Noah lived to be 950 year old.

moses was in the desert for 40 days/nights....
There are more examples.Moses was with God in the mount, 40 days and nights Moses was again with God 40 days and 40 nights

Israel ate Manna for 40 years

The spies searched the land of Canaan for 40 days

Goliath presented himself to Israel for 40 days

David reigned over Israel for 40 years

The holy place of the temple was 40 cubits long

Solomon reigned same length as his father; 40 years

Elijah had one meal that gave him strength 40 days

Ezekiel bore the iniquity of the house of Judah for 40 days

God gave Nineveh 40 days to repent
and last but not least....

Jesus fasted 40 days and nights
Jesus was tempted 40 day
Jesus remained on earth 40 days after resurrection

Have I proven my point yet?

Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.
-Airplane! (1980)

I was emo before I met you. I just hide it well.

I wonder, now that the born-agains have found Heaven On Earth with W re-selected, is it boring?

And yes, your butt looks big in that dress. Get off my cloud.

Mirroring Satellites - And we are the ants caught between the dueling, fiery, cone-shaped beams.

  "More illuminating than not, and shines its brightest light on a truth that war and warmongers so ferociously ignore: Look hard into the other's camp and what you'll likely see is yourself."
-- Rick Groen, GLOBE AND MAIL

I've been really down lately, about the unreality of the media, the corporate control of our kids and our jobs. I'm having nightmares about zombies - organic robotoids who run at you wanting to devour you and make you one of them - and machines that are trying to find God.

If I don't get my shit together...I need to retreat to the Holy Mountain and carry my stone all the way up.

Here's a video to watch. Then you can comment on it like the dinks you are.

Fear not, my fellow travellers, for the spirit of the Beaver is immortal. We acknowledge our fucked up situation, and know that it cannot stand forever. In the meantime, we must dance and fuck and vote and listen to Rock and Roll. And also build homes out of trees on the banks of the ever-flowing, ever-changing muddy river.

As I already emailed some of you and forgot to include the link.........
my website can be found at

www.geocities.com/monimoni3/portfolio.html

please sign my guestbook.

Ok, it's been about six days now. At what point in time are we going to start talking about votergate?

Could it really be possible that every exit poll that suggested a Kerry sweep were wrong? That's just a start. (the answer is no)

Dance music is pretty gay.

Evan Bayh on Drugs

In William Safire's collumn this morning he mentioned Bayh as a possibility to be on the 08' Democratic ticket.

Other candidates on Drugs

Anyway, I've been browsing this site and when they explain a canidates position they say: "so and so on this and that." So you get to see phares such as "Ted Kennedy on Drugs."

Cool.

Just give me a call when you are going to be in the neighborhood.... or just stop by
i don't leave the house except for school
You people scare me too much to leave the house

Oh i'll tell you where you can drop them alright!

Tent and supplies are in my trunk. When and where shall I return then? NAME IT!

and as for you.... MattK.


Where are my sleeping bags? And my tent? (okay they are josh's) but none the less.....

Kim... hope the move went well.
I was thinking for a housewarming gift... a cat!!
what do you think?
she is a beautiful 8 year old... sweet as can be..... no claws... so she'd have to stay inside.
She is looking for a new home and mike already turned her away.
What a gay ass bastard!

Hope you get settled in ...............

LPS---
My mom is getting better. She is still in the hospital. Tomorrow makes day 21.
The doctor won't say when she gets to go home... but her nurses.... they think by middle of this week.
She has been fever free for 6 days in a row. However, today she did develop an allergic reaction to an antibiotic they have had her on for 2 weeks. Kinda strange.
She is in good spirits.... and is doing what she is told. She has to have a bone marrow biopsy so they can see if the leukemia cells are gone. Keep yer fingers crossed.

Randi Rhodes was doing a story on this Black Box Voting controversy - during wich she was pre-empted for a speech by Dick Cheney bragging about how he carried his home state. That's clear channel.

Read me: http://www.blackboxvoting.org/
Voting without auditing. (Are we insane?)

Here's something: If (and when) you cheat on your girlfriend, it is important to take a shower after the act takes place. And while in the shower do not use any soap or shampoo, and definitely do not wash your ass.

If you come home smelling like another women your busted; if you come home smelling like Irish Spring your also busted. Leave your pits and butt unswashed, so that you come home smelling like you didn't just have sex with someone else.

Now back to your regularly scheduled posts.

The Cardinal's hitting coach quit due to his problems with alchohalism. I can't think of a more fitting end to this baseball season.

Back to politics: I think Randi Rhodes would be a much more attractive canidate for office then Hillary Clinton.

I still trying to come up with a brother she can run with though. Obama is too white and young.

Joe: Call it a hunch, but I would go with the blue state teams. They gotta win something.

LPS: A. What's a dry f@*%? B. Do you find my posts as confusing as I find yours? C. Wanna screw?

Yes Matt you are a masochist and you've been one for a very long time. Komanecky: quit touching yourself. I don't pay taxes for you to feel yourself.

America will not elect Hillary Clinton and Obama it too white. We need some straight up brothers to run for president.

I've got inspiration for my next Halloween costume! I want to be a fancy-pants Lord like Protestant Prince William of Orange.



I'll strut around and say in casual, snooty tones, "Kill them. Kill them all."

Also, I would be a hit doubling as the "Blue boy" from the famous 1770 painting
by Thomas Gainsborough.

Kim's moving into her new place today. Hooray for Kimmie! Send your housewarming gifts to Fifth Street.

It is critical that I resist the urge to put my hand in my pants while in front of the computer at work. It is a physical, unconscious reflex to touch myself when I'm alone. You see, the bosses and the secretary are all in a meeting right now, and Mark and Kalpana are not in today, and it is a slow Friday, so my hand is going south.

The problem is: I sit in front of a window. Kalpana tells me that she always looks to see what I'm doing as she drives by, and I know Monica too has looked in and honked. But I'm oblivious to the outside. They can see in but I can't see out?

Ok, bloggers, I'm going back to "work" -- Meaning back to reading the prolific and dense "Architecture of Modern Political Power".

And for more expansive, yet equally informative research, I like browsing Wikipedia (With both hands above board, of course.).

At some point and time there has got to be some dissent in this Republican Mandated Government we've elected.

It's just the way things work.

It's like a beautiful girl throwing a party and only invited 100 guys. I've been at that party and it's doesn't work. Also, Bush is not a beautiful girl.

This Republican Party can't last. The host is a born again dry drunk.

I see you've cleaned out my closet Joe. Thanks. I needed the room cuz I'm moving back in!! Boo Yah Shi Cha!

Thanks for everybody supporting me during those three gay days. It really helped me out. Can you imagine being gay for a whole year, or even a lifetime? Those people really have it hard.

All the leaves are brown.

Channell surfer

2 important points:

- No change until 2008. Kim is right to focus on getting Clinton/Obama elected in '08. Until then, the Empire remains strong. "The leadership of both choices is old-energy leadership. They're cut of the same cloth. Understand that it's appropriate for the larger plan that your time line will remain this way. Again, do not despair. Instead, send light to your leadership, no matter who it turns out to be."

- Armageddon was cancelled. Israel and the middle east "was the spark that was to create Armageddon at about your 1998 to 2001 time frame. It's written in prophecy in many places over hundreds of years by many priests." "...after the Harmonic Convergence in 1987, which was then celebrated by the 11:11 in 1992, things started changing on the planet. Very, very quickly after 1987, the geopolitical structure crumbled around some of the governments that were scheduled to be principal players in the prophesied Armageddon."

The End Times' Christian and Muslim crowd are going to be quite disappointed. It is unfathomable to them that their 2000 year-old prophecy could change. "BUT IT WAS WRITTEN DOWN, SO IT MUST BE TRUE!" they would say.

CHANNELLING: The Winter of Spirituality

I'd like to take this time to make a confession.

I'm sure many of you have noticed that I am not quite the person that I portray myself as. As first it was easy to masquerade and hide my true self, but I think it's become more and more obvious in the last couple of months that I'm not fooling anyone. I'd first just like to say how painful it has been hiding this from you all, especially my family. I just hope that when this all comes out that I will still be accepted and loved by my family and friends.

I am a Conservative Republican.

Oh yeah, and I'm gay. And I love Brian Wilson because I think he epitomizes the conservative values that I cherish so much. And I love Brian Wilson because he's got a hard body.

Bowling For Soup - 1985

I've never heard the band, but "seen" their video playing at Target while underwear shopping.

Voting is so fun, I'm going again today!

It hasn't been cut yet, so as of now, in the new Star Wars movie, Yoda is going to fart.

Wouldn't it be nice if Brian Wilson was a musical genius?

The music of my generation is not only more original the music during the late sixties, but also more enteraining and talented.

liz phair vs jon mitchell?
pixies vs beatles?
slayer vs everybody else?

It's not contest. the x gen wins agains.
And I didn't even mention Jesus Lizard.

Mike Mann cooked me dinner last night. Isn't he sweet?

Chicken Parmegiana, mmmmmmmmmmm

I don't blame your generation for not getting laid. I blame my grandfather's generation. And I think that is obvious by anyone who's paid any attention to the content of my posts.

I was just kidding when I said I couldn't wait for everyone in your generation to be dead. That was a joke, and it was probably the funniest thing ever written on this blog.

Wow, looks like I got a bit of sand in my vagina. Maybe I've just lost my fucking mind. What do you think?

Scott Weiland is FOXY!!!

Stone Temple Pilots are elegent bachelors. They're foxy to me, are they foxy to you?

The Cardinals' only have to win four more games in a row to become World Champions. It's now or never.

Ok that's funny.

Now - Back to Vietnam. How does it make you feel lps (and Jim if you're out there) that your generation ruined America? The entire Conservative movement - lately - seems tied to their opposition to the American opposition of Vietnam.

Conservatives seem to hate Kerry most because he came back and said the troops were cutting off heads. I've heard that entire testimony before and he came across a someone very eloquent, articulate, and focused - much more so then he is now. The list of atrocities that he talked about didn't sound like he was narc(ing) on the troops.

If I had to ask Kerry one thing, I would ask why someone who's been through and seen the atrocities of war, and then afterward dedicated his career to dovish issues, suddenly want to become commander in chief right in the middle of war that no one seems to know how to win. Not that I think it sounds absurd. If anything it sounds a bit Shakespearean.

Eric, speaking of war I bought Contra 2 (Super C) the other day. Why don't you bring over the whiskey, and I'll get the hashish, and then we fuck up some shit Contra style.

"Armageddon enthusiasts"

I like that. I work with one.

Eric, we are the ones who must beg for you to hang out with us! The priviledge is ours!

Ariel Sharon finally prevailed and got the vote in the Israeli parliament to pull out of the parts of the Gaza Strip and the West Bank.

Palestinians meanwhile took this as a last chance to throw some more rocks at the Israeli troops - trying make it look appear as if they were driving them out, while the Israeli troops returned fire to make it look like they weren't being driven out. (Is this a war being fought by retards?)

The religious right also opposed the plan, saying that it is a sin to pull Jews from their homes and that Gaza is part of the Land of Israel given to Jews by Mr. God.

(Italic word added for effect.)

The pictures I've seen taken of Sharon looks like he's just waiting to get shot. I wonder what Bushies Christian Right Armageddon enthusiasts think of these developments.

"In my book, Kerry is giving comfort and succor to the enemy. And don't forget that Tokyo Rose got jail time for it after World War II, and Jane Fonda, Kerry's soul mate, should have during Vietnam."

Ok, so that's a total bitch thing to say. How the hell is John Kerry giving aid and comfort to the enemy by saying that our president put our troops in the wrong country? If anything these insurgents were aided and comforted when the president put our troops in the wrong country.

These jihadist forces were probably even pleasantly suprised when we captured one of their natural enemies in Saddam Hussein.

Anyway, this war has nothing to do with the jihad against the west or even freedom-hating Muslims. (John Kerry call them the haters.) What this all boils down to is LPS. You and your anti-war movement during the sixties have ruined this country forever. How does it feel lps when people say your generation ruined the greatest most powerful country on earth?

This whole mess is never going to die until everone in the baby boom generation is dead.

This guy is a complete bitch.

http://www.nypost.com/commentary/32733.htm

I've heard a few reports of troops saying they won't reenlist if Kerry becomes president. Do these type of people even like this country?

This commentator takes the cake though.

I might become conservative if it means better sex.

Sorry liberal girls, your sexual revolution is 35-years-old. It's time for the Republican Sexual Revolution.

Do you think Dr. Laura gives good head?

George Bush is so stupid...
George Bush is so stupid, he went to a concert and waved to Stevie Wonder.

Thanks to all my beaver friends for your kind words and support.

It was a very rough weekend in Chemo--land.
Things perked up a bit on sunday though.

LPS---
I'm glad you are able to enjoy it. It sat in my hall closet for over a year. I needed the space.
You did me a favor.
I expect PeeWee will make many appearances?

Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable.

Yes, dear I'll pick you up for Thai tonight.

Illness is difficult to deal with, but in it's strange way it does bring people back to what is important. Our love and prayers are with you and your mother, Monica.

One of my favorite sci-fi books ended with the main charachter experiencing a heavy bout of synaesthesia. Alfred Bester was the author. It had one of those awesome titles from the 40s/50s: The Stars My Destination (1956)

I was so young when I read it, I can hardly remember it. Must read it again. A good x-mas gift if anyone is paying attention.

"Gulliver Foyle, Mechanic's Mate 3rd Class, is the only survivor on his drifting, wrecked spaceship. He endures 170 days alone in deep space before being noticed by another space vessel, the Vorga. When the other ship ignores his distress flares and sails by, Gully Foyle becomes a man obsessed with revenge. After finding refuge with the forgotten Scientific People on the Sargasso Asteroid, he returns to Earth to track down the crew and owners of the Vorga. But, as he works out his murderous grudge, Gully Foyle begins to uncover a secret of momentous proportions..."

"Original title: Tiger! Tiger!"

I want to read another book of his: The Demolished Man.

Monica. I just read, and am sorry to hear about your mother's condition. I hope and pray for the best to you, your mother, and your family.

Always remember that you can count on your friends to help out in any way. Call me if you need anything.

Michael

LPS---

Thank you for your kind words. I never thought things like cancer happened to people that I know... especially not MY MOM!

http://synaesthesia.fws1.com/

Are there any candidates running that can cure cancer?

My mom was diagnosed with Leukemia on Monday and began chemotherapy today.


About 11,920 new cases of acute myelogenous leukemia are diagnosed each year in the United States.
AML results from acquired (not inherited) genetic damage to the DNA of developing cells in the bone marrow. The effects are: 1) the uncontrolled, exaggerated growth and accumulation of cells called "leukemic blasts" which fail to function as normal blood cells and 2) the blockade of the production of normal marrow cells, leading to a deficiency of red cells (anemia), and platelets (thrombocytopenia) and normal white cells (especially neutrophils, i.e., neutropenia) in the blood.
Leukemia is a malignant disease (cancer) of the bone marrow and blood.
For more info go to:
http://www.leukemia-lymphoma.org/all_page?item_id=8459

"I mean, the Lord told me it was going to be A, a disaster, and B, messy," Robertson said. "I warned (Bush) about casualties."

So now we know. God talks like a sixth grader.

I wonder if God had this conversation with before or after he told the president the mission would be a resounding success.

I woke up to Dr. Laura Shlessingeier yesterday morning and the subject was: Republicans have better sex lives then democrats. Supposadly this information was based on a poll.

These were some of the reasons. Women who are democrats often tend to be feminists. Feminists often find sex to be a power struggle with the male counterpart, and thus have a hard time relaxing and really enjoying sex.

Male democrats can be defined by pensive traits. They feel guilty when it comes to being aggressive and proactive during sex. This leads to either dull, or anxiety ridden sexual experiences.

Meanwhile Fags have the best sex out of anybody.

Here's a link. http://abcnews.go.com/Primetime/News/story?id=174461

Who stole Eric's sense of irony?

I do enjoy the intersection of Academia and popular culture. It's funny to me when a respected report from the Pew Internet & American Life Project cites Amihot.

"Twenty-six percent of adult internet users in the U.S. have rated a product,
service, or person using an online rating system. These systems, also
referred to as “reputation systems,” are interactive word-of-mouth networks
that assist people in making decisions about which users to trust, or to
compare their opinions with the opinions expressed by others. Many Web sites
utilize some form of this application, including eBay, Amazon, Moviefone and
Amihot."

For the full text of the data memo, please see:
http://www.pewinternet.org/report_display.asp?r=140

Appearing in a grey V-neck and looking very serious, Stewart relentlessly went after the program, as he often does on the Daily Show. (His preferred punching bag is Carlson's conservative cohort, Robert Novak, whom Stewart calls "Douchebag for Liberty.")

Watch the Daily Show clip

National Celibacy DayNovember 2


NO DICK - NO BUSH

Eric, I messed with the Bush "What me worry?" images to make em show up. One of them was taken down, even.

I want to hear a good Laura Bush alone in the Oval Office dirty story. She used to be a librarian, you know. Hot.

If it was up to me, keep Laura as the First Lady, and make John Kerry the President.

I have web pages to make. My work is boring.

Yes, Mike just jizzed out a month's worth of posting. The boy was backed up. And thanks for the mental picture of Bill O'Reilly saying the word "pussy", and then flicking his tongue in and out of his mouth like, "Come on ladies, you know you want it". Then he starts touching himself...gyrating his pelvis back and forth while standing up.

Wow. I have to sit down.

Oh wait, I am sitting down. Let me pull my hand out of my pants.

I really think turning this blog into Republican erotica is a step in the right direction. Just don't post any lesbian on lesbian stories right away. Start out with a good mano-e-mano John Ashcroft thumbing Paul Wolfowitz's anus. But please, keep it tasteful people.

LPS---- Enjoy!

Anne Coulter: How to Give a Liberal a Blowjob

Sean Hannity: I Wear Women's Underwear

Which one of these book titles would make the world a perfect place?

Drudge Link: There was a poll in London that indicated 1% of people have never been sexually attrated to anyone. Asexual.

I am like so not one of those people. Just the word asexual gets me hard.

Government regulating content on the internet: I never considered this before this monrning. I started at the msn homepage, and within two clicks I was reading Bill O'Reilly's sexual fantasies. What the fuck happened overnight? That shit was not on the internet last night.

So do you know who the real losers are in all of this? Everybody in America. I haven't read or heard but one story on this matter, and I am already sick to fucking death of this story. I blame the women that was harrassed. Because, yeah, she got sexually harrassed by Bill O'Reilly. That's sick. That sucks. But did she have to share it with the rest of us? By the time all of this is over, each of us will have the mental picture of Bill O'Reilly trying to act sexy, and saying the word pussy.

I don't know if that last post had a point. It did have two points, but not a point.

Is Dick Cheney really a bitch? The black men that I work with (the brothers) said the worst thing you can a "full grown man" is "bitch baby." That's even worse then "son of a bitch."

Speaking of ho's. Did anyone see the cover of Coulter's latest book. Leather baby. Tight Leather. Black leather of that tight body. If I ever got the chance to interview Coulter, I would ask her if she would ever consider giving a blow job to a liberal.

Cheney is a bitch because that fat greasy basterd Republican Keyes called his daugher a selfish hedonistic ho slut lesbo femenist, and Cheney responded by letting his balls shrivil up and crawl inside his stomach.

Hey kids. See if you can count all the adjetives in this post.

So then John Kerry is asked if he thinks homosexuality is a choice and he says you should go ask the vice-president's daughter, "because she's a lesbian."

Now Cheney's angry. He's said that he's not only an angry father, but an angry citizen as well. Personally, If I were in Cheney's shoes I would have kicked Keyes' ass first, that way I wouldn't look like a hypocrite when I fucked John Kerry's shit up for talking smack.

Where are the core values in that man? Even Darth Vader wanted Leigh to join him in conquering the Universe.

Dick Cheney's daughter is a lesbian.

Dick Cheney is a bitch.

I can pick up the TV TODAY if need be. I'm off at 2.

Eric, have you come up with a "name" yet? I like funboy.

"Earwig and the Angry Bush" = clever. I still have to finish watching that documentary. I want to see Ally Sheedy as Hedwig in the Broadway production.

"Sheedy told the The New York Times in September. "I don't know whose idea this was. I can't dance, can't sing, and I can't act. I'm waiting for them to fire me."
Ally Sheedy Inches Away from "Hedwig"

"Kim" is a definitely a "nice-girl", and she's perfect too.

And as Jimmy Fallon would say as Nick Burns, Your Company Computer Guy: "Oh and...YOU'RE WELCOME!"

LPS

Have Mattie contact me about getting the tv to you. It's all yours.

Mike, can I borrow some new Libertines? Do you think the new Nelly is any good? The Faint have a new album. I'm gonna buy it on Amazon.com.

My computer is slow and I have to work on Columbus day.

Columbus day quote:

"The story of modern America begins with the discovery of the white man by the Indians."

Marshall McLuhan

He also said: "Only the vanquished remember history."

When your bitch is acting out-of-pocket you've got to lay the smack down.

Old pimp trick is to take a wire coat hangar and bend it strait. Beat that ass but don't break the skin or leave too many marks. She ain't gonna make you no money if she's all beat up.

must be the whiskey,

Howard Dean pulled me aside last night. He asked if I had told you that he's not actually the Dean Machine.

I said I didn't have the heart. The guy smoking the pipe next to him chuckled.

Trish asked if you hated her. I told her "Yes." She mentioned something about blood thinners and too much drinking. Then her ex-boyfriend came in and tapped her on the shoulder. She hugged him. It sucks seeing your ex-es. She is still bummed about the band not missing her.

Nick was his normal "I want to get laid tonight" self. He was getting text messages from some girl who lives an hour away: "You make me cum" was the extent of those.
No, he could not borrow my car. I told him to rent a limo.

Also:

Uncles, don't forget to beat up your Afghan Brides.

And if she runs away, call the police on her. They shall administer the mandatory virginity test. If her hymen is not intact, that's a three-year sentence for fornication.

It feels powerful to be an Afghani man. Your thoughts are her thoughts (In a new opinion poll in Afghanistan, 87 percent of those surveyed said women needed to ask their husbands' permission to vote).

Two words: CORPORATE WONDERLAND

LPS--- I don't know about the Ccaption but the merchandise is FREE.
I don't know a better price than that!

What is this: the Springfield Shopper?

MikeMann I have a fern for you hanging in my living room. Contact me to claim your prize.


Does anybeaver need an extra television and VCR? I have one 19 inch television and VCR in my hall closet that I REALLY want to get rid of. I just want to make sure that they get a good home.

LPS----
As for the subaru... yes I really prefer the outback wagon. I could quite possibly entertain the Impreza (the little hatchback thing)

Oh the JOY!!!
I love "little orange rabbit"'s
Is it true? Is Eric really joining the blog?
After 2 years of denying his destiny he finally gives in?

The blog is your density Eric....... thats right.... your density!!

Welcome, new blogger. To get you started, I'm posting an email you sent me Sunday at 4:25 PM.

"hey!, its my smiley face boo.......

( oh....if only i could be a beaver! )

I know ive shunned it in the past, but ive seen the light. In fact, I envy you all.

I also know youve sent me bogus invitations in the past, and i forgive you. Now will you please, for the love of rocky, send me a proper one! (you chant regret it)

cordially,
Eric

( soon to be known as " little orange rabbit" )


P.S. Im drunk "

Ladies and Gentlemen, the new Vice President: John Edwards.

Here's why: "Cheney was also every inch the snarling, hunch-shouldered golem that has made him one of the least popular politicians in recent memory. He seldom looked up at moderator Gwen Ifill, or at the cameras facing him, choosing instead to speak into his own chest for the entire night. Cheney appeared, overall, to cut quite the frightening figure, the dark night to Edwards' optimistic day."

William Rivers Pitt, Cheney's Avalanche of Lies

But Kerry will win because he has more "royal blood" than Bush.
Does royal theory give Kerry edge?
Genealogists call Bush and Kerry kin

I like Little Pink Socks' writing style: It's like poetry with the sudden breaks, ellipses, and capital letters. Plus, the way she puts "quotes" around certain "words" infuses each sentence with "nuance" and extra "meaning".

You guys are killing me with your debate analysis. Why don't we have our own TV show?

Live from Springfield, it's the Wily Beavers.

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