Saturday, May 03, 2003

"All science fiction is fundamentally post-religious literature (or, as some would have it, another substitute for religion). This means that the universes described in science fiction are fundamentally knowable. What appears mysterious at a distance can be weighed and measured by the explorer or scientist who finds it. Faith dissolves, replaced by a sense of wonder at the complexity of creation."
Review by Jeremy Smith of The Renunciation of Transcendence:Stories of Your Life and Others by Ted Chiang.
Maybe this is one of the reasons I love science fiction so much.

Friday, May 02, 2003

ol dirty is loose. i wanna give a shout out to the helicopters in the world!
So are you saying party this weekend at your house???
My mom is leaving for a Adult Children of Alcoholics retreat at Starved Rock for the weekend today.

She says those Alanon women can be controlling bitches. "You must do this" and "You must do that." She said if she gets any lectures she is walking out of the meeting rather than sit there angry.

You see, she has been walking the path of sobriety for decades now, so she is well past the initial stages of denial, selfishness, self-pity, powerlessness and stubborness that many alcholics cling to.
Alan Clements (Upon entering an aboriginal camp): How can I help you?

Aboriginal Woman: If you are here to help me, please leave. But if you see that your freedom and my freedom are linked please stay and we can help each other.
We cannot all do great things, but we can do small things with great love.
Mother Teresa
His balls were showing. What a display. What a Hollywood production.

Thursday, May 01, 2003

Dad, I have something to tell you. I'm now a member of the Log Cabin Republicans.
Tell Alex I'd like to speak to him when he gets back from his young republicans meeting...and I want Skippy out of here.
Here are some of my, Alex P. Keaton's, embarrassments:

Invested all of my father's AT&T stock into a riskier stock which ended up being worthless due to a hurricane.

Turning my parents' house into a hotel while they were gone. This resulted in a kangaroo residing in the house.

Getting hooked on speed in order to study longer. This resulted in cleaning several garages a week.

Dated a woman 18 years my senior while in high school.

Hired Geena Davis as the maid based purely on physical appearance.
I don't have any more time to blog now guys, I've gotta earn my money.

Greed is good.
This blog is so blasphemous.

In a fun crazy 80's kind of way.

Mallory!
Come on guys, can't we get along in this crazy 80's world we live in?
kill hannah
a house kick? You want to buy a home?
jerked off yet?
Doing coke and graduating from yale? What are you kidding me?

No joke. He's near brilliant.

Then again you're not arguing his intelligence, you're questioning his satanic nature. Fair enough.
I'm sorry. I'm from Harvard, not George Bush. He's still a smarty.

I mean c'mon. Yale is f'n hard man. Hard. And he was on drugs.

Fuck computers. I would give anything not to ever have the need to use a computer again.


I suggest you start right now, fuckwit.
Did I mention Bush is an elitist sociopathic Nazi with absolutely no compassion and no concept of empathy with the common man, just like his father?
He is from Yale, home of the Skull and Bones secret society.

And you have no idea the fascist Neo-Nazi's behind most of Bush's policies and the Iraq war.

Do a profile on ANY of the individuals in the Bush administration. Look at the powerful lobbies and think tanks, like the AEI or the RAND Corporation, who make the policy recommendations that the Bush team listens to.

You will find a deadly right-wing fascism at play the likes that have not been seen since WWII.

Fuck computers. I would give anything not to ever have the need to use a computer again.
The Cardinal game is on in ten minutes.

I think I like watching the Cardinals play because they win all the time.

Hey tayter - why do you like to watch the Cubs?
I think Bush knows what he's doing here Matt. He is the president, you know. The President of the USA. He's clever, he's smart, he's funny, and did I mention a Harvard graduate to boot? If I were an intern I'd blow him.

Bush represents us. Obviously he cares for us. He's kind of like our Dad. He takes care of all the important stuff so we can play with ourselves and our computers - All Day.

(did I miss anything tayter?)
The wolverines could have single handedly defeated the red army. I don't see them having a prob with the badgers.
I'm in.
I weep at Lord Buckley's magnificence!
Iraq "Reconstruction." Why would Georgie Boy give a damn about building Iraq's domestic infrastructure when he is bankrupting and destroying the United States? Because his cronies get $900 million in contracts.

Can you think of another President who drastically slashed revenues (think tax cuts) while increasing spending (think waging war) at the level of the current one?

Did I mention the Bushies don't care about the American people?
WILD JUNGLE LAW / I AM A SURVIVALIST
Pathetic humans, cower at my mighty fist!

Go to Shawnee National Forest. Much hiking to do there.
I'm in.
You guys wanna go camping this summer?

We can go to KOA campgrounds, only minutes away or as far as Peoria at Sand Ridge State Forest. The only hurdle is camping gear. Fishing poles, cooking supplies, sleeping bags, food storage, etc. I have a lot to learn to become like Tom Scheafer, The Shooting Sport, and a longer way to become a hardcore survivalist.

Wednesday, April 30, 2003

does anyone remember the lemonheads? i remember joe (pappy) natale used to like "it's a shame about ray" album. anyway, evan is supposadly clean now, and he made a great album worth checking out. sobering up albums never sounded so refreshing.

anyway, i've got in on. matt k's favorite t. it never looked as good on him - as it did on me. i used to wear it everyday - now it's twice a week.

sidenote: former indie heart throb evan dando is starting to look like the freak from the goonies. don't do drugs beavers.

second sidenote: favorite evan dando quote: "the universe is really sparkly"
Yes, but how do we implement such a wise policy, My Lord? Therein lies the stickiness.

Does humanity rely on God's merciful justice, or do they create their own wild jungle laws?
Accountability

Harsh punishments for those that try to scapegoat and leniency for those who accept responsibility for their actions. That would teach em, right???

That makes you a man.
Sometimes I feel like clubbin this little red head girl. Does that make me a sadist?
Can't a man not drink his beer in silence
Can't a man not crudely lie and scream
Can't a man not control his bitch with violence

Yall are brutalizing me
Yall are brutalizing me


Ronnie Dobbs
Lord Buckley,

How do you propose a way to hold people accountable to their actions? How would eliminate the need for lying, blame and denial?

Your Humble Fool
Not blaming anyone, just bringing up an interesting point. Americans prefer a open system with checks and balances over secret agreements and clandestine control.

Or maybe they don't. There is no Right to Privacy in the Constitution. Nor am I an advocate of such a right.

The ending for Secretary was good but made me question its validity. I don't know that two sadists could have a lasting relationship, with the nature of sadism being violence, fantasy and powerlessness.

Oh wait, nevermind. A lot of people get married for those reasons.

"The effect of jealousy cannot be overestimated ... it effects ideas of putting someone out of the way, fantasies of revenge, which are repressed, but which form the nucleus of the masochistic feeling of inferiority. The sadistic and masochistic intertwining fantasies are only variations of these original ideas of revenge."
WHO BECOMES A SADO-MASOCHIST?
It's easy to blame things on others, isn't it?
Fifteen scions of America ’s richest families are inducted into a secret society each year. They are endowed with money and a million dollars worth of connections. Their names are Bush, Cheney, Forbes (as in John Forbes Kerry), Taft, Luce, and Whitney. Members of Skull & Bones will be on both sides of the issues. They were both for and against the Vietnam War, they are liberal and conservative. They have the money, they have the power, and they have only one goal. To keep it that way.
THE PROCESS
~~~~~~~~~~~
1) Using the magnifying glass and the fine-tip pen, dot the core and delta, as
well as any outstanding groups of characteristics, on one of your fingertips.

2) Take the double-edged razor blade and snap it in half lengthwise. Twist one
piece lengthwise again and break it in half. You should now have one quarter
of the blade, with a scalpel-like edge.

3) Taking the edged piece, carefully cut a straight line 3/32 of an inch through
each dot right into the epidermis, but NOT into the dermis, which would draw
quite a noticeable amount of blood. Think "papercut."

4) Using the tweezers, pick up a small pellet of lye and insert it into one cut.
As soon as the lye combines with your bodily fluids, a chemical reaction will
result that will last approximately one minute. And yes, this will hurt. It
will, in fact, hurt like fucking hell. You may want something to bite down
on.

5) The lye will burn a dark circle 3/32 of an inch in diameter into the dermis
with little or no damage to the epidermis. Repeat the procedure with each
dot.

6) Taking the nail clippers, carefully clip the epidermis around the edge of
each circle. This will expose concave cavities filled with semiclear jelly.
(In case you're wondering, this jelly is burnt skin.)

7) Clean the cavities with ordinary soap and water and apply your salve. Try
to get yourself a salve with what they call "three-way" healing properties.
This means it'll have an antibiotic, a local analgesic, and an enzyme (which
will dissolve the burnt connective tissue lining the cavities). One brand-
name for this stuff is Elase. Shop around, read ingredients, etc.

8) Wrap your finger in gauze, then repeat the entire procedure on all finger and
thumb pattern areas as well as any significant palm print characteristics.

Within about a month your fingers will have healed. You should have obliterated
(or at least seriously altered) any outstanding groups of characteristics. The
total count on any one finger will now probably number around 10 - 15 points or
less. As an added bonus, you'll have destroyed your cores and deltas, thereby
making an accurate classification and ridge count impossible as well as changing
the corresponding specifics and formulas. This makes it a bit harder to get an
accurate file of your prints back into a computer should you ever be unfortunate
or stupid enough to get printed again.

The healing process of severely damaged tissue, especially burnt tissue,
permanently scars the epidermis, causing the misalignment of the ridge lines in
the pattern area. Therefore, a before-and-after visual examination would show
the fingerprints are similar but couldn't prove conclusively they are identical.
And a before-and-after computer evaluation would indicate the fingerprints do
not match and conclusively are not identical.

Congratulations. And wear gloves next time.
sado is such a downer man. toltally nineties.

ted leo's gots the hits. check it out.
I saw the movie Secretary yesterday. It was wonderfully perverse. It was boring for the first 40 minutes up until the first spanking scene, then it really took off.
I can dig it Lord Buck. Geopolitics is one big downer. It boils down to a few clarifying questions.

Do you have faith in the inherent goodness of the human race?

Though the media, including us, focus mainly on the negative, can you see the overwhelming positive?

What do you find more likely to happen? The Biblical Armeggeddon scenario or the 1000 year peace scenario?

Do you think their is a solution to the "Middle East problem"?
Hipsters, flipsters and finger-poppin' daddies: Lock me your lobes!

War is such a downer man. Let's rap about something else, ya dig?
I heard Hillary Clinton speaking on Hannity & Pawn. She was so fired up in her oration it reminded me of the days of the great radio dictators: FDR, Churchill, Stalin, Hitler, Mussolini.
She offers Americans that age-old choice: Do you want a Democratic dictator or a Republican Dictator?

The public has spoken. They want Bush.

I like what Howard Dean is saying. What is this guys dirty secret?

I also like how "experts" still talk about how horrible Saddam was, as if he was still alive or relevant.

What can we say about the Iraqi War? What is done is done. Time to pick up the pieces.
More French devil's advocate: If the french were to topple American presence in France, their would be more frenchies pulling down Ronald McDonald "statues," then there were Iraqi's beating their shoes on Saddam's head. I don't know. I still think this whole war was bullshit. dicslaimer: SUPPORT THE TROOPS

Tuesday, April 29, 2003

I just realized something too. We haven't talked to much about the Iraqi War.

I'm feeling French as of late, and I'm starting to wonder why we conquered the regime. Personally, I don't care that we liberated all those people. I don't have any Iraqi friends. And as far as their wmd's? What wmd's? They didn't launch any at our troops, or at Israel, or at the Kurds.

I've been reading a lot of a magazine called: "The American Conservative." I completely agree with their sentiments on this war. We Americans should avoid foreign affairs like we've avoided the SAR's epidemic.

I miss Tayter's views, and I miss all the "old" conservatives that would agree with me. (not that I was ever around for any of that.) However, I can't help but think all the views of the protesters of the IMF and World Bank would fit in perfectly with the viewpoints of our founding fathers.

Bush was never a nation builder until he destroyed a nation. Journalist of the year goes to John Stewart.
Hmm, I just realized something. I probably haven't ate a pork chop in 10 years. Is that odd or normal?
Don't make me go over there and smack the cock out of your mouth!
"Y'all are brutalizing me." Ronnie Dobbs
Mr T pities the Onion. This is satire squared, irony making light of itself, the snake eating its own tail. It takes a moment to understand all the levels of satire at play here. But once you do, it is pretty damn funny, fool!
Mr. T often pities me.
BULLSHIT! Now we know why the call it TicketMASTER.

Monday, April 28, 2003

I saw that documentary. It was good.

Well thats all I have to say for now fuckers.
Motown's Funk Brothers cast long 'Shadows'
They played on more No. 1 hits than Elvis Presley, The Beatles, the Rolling Stones and the Beach Boys put together. But to the general public, they remain largely unknown. Unlike the galaxy of beloved Motown stars, songwriters and producers, the Funk Brothers were rarely recognized for their contribution to what became "the sound of young America."
Higher dimensional objects (or beings) cast their shadow into lower dimensions.
Eric showed interest in going to see Yo la Tengo. He wants to go see Sonic Old Fogies in June in St. Louis. I really don't want to see them.
So fresh and so clean.
I do tend to climb trees in an upward spiral when people get near me. I'm always on the other side of the tree so the person can't get me.

I guess I am a little squirelly.
yo la tengo is playing with The Clean for the Riveria show. The Clean are from New Zealand, so they should look pretty funny,
Ok, so your heart is broken
You're sitting around mopin', cryin', cryin'
You say you even think about dying
Well, before you do anything rash, baby, dig this
Dr. Mims said I'm a little bit squirrelly, but I do good work. Would you guys say I'm squirrelly?

I think he may have been thinking of another furry brown forest animal -- you know, one with a flat tail and long fast-growing teeth -- like a beaver.
There is no exception to the rule.
Everybody plays me.
Maybe you can take Eric out tonight, Monica, cause I'm not feeling to well. I keep getting dizzy spells. Maybe it is just constipation.
Yes, a colonic is definately in order.

Sunday, April 27, 2003

yesterday i got to play meet the mom. Josh's mom is a sweet lady.. you guys should meet her sometime. I'm sure his dad is sweet as well.. but he was in bloomington for the day... didn't get to meet him. 8-(
Have a good sunday night beavers and Vancey.......... I'm gonna steal that rowing machine... are you kiddingme.... that's my favorite piece of workout equipment ever!!
What's on for Monday ?
who are y ou people and what are you doing in my computer?
That is a plan I can support. Who are they playing with? Nevermind. It is Portastatic. Who is Portastatic?

Castoreum

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