Does anyone else think ozzy ozbourne's rendition of "take me out to the ballgame" was a dead-on take of Harry Carey's?

Ok, forget the spine bit.

Read the article I linked to. Some fine investigative work.

The Flatulent Gasbag #3 in the Machine

(Computerized sexy female voice): Spinal regeneration complete.

Matt K.: Thank you, computer.

(Computerized sexy female voice): Self-esteem regeneration commencing.

Matt K.: Is this one going to be painful, computer?

(Computerized sexy female voice): I do not understand your inquiry.

Matt K.: Of course not. You've never deluded yourself into believing that you need to fall over yourself pleasing other people to be complete.
You're just a goddamn machine.

(Computerized sexy female voice): You're goddamn right, muthafu**a. Now shut the fuck up.

Hey fuckers,

Take a look at this. It should rile you nicely.

Blogayovich has done it again.

http://miniluv.com

Oh, Matt K. you're a big floppy cock. Grow a fuckin spine.

And a funny article written by Carina Chocano:

Consider, if you will, how romance is like a marauding bear, but also not.

Here is a selection from a new book I picked up.

Do You Love Me or Am I Just Paranoid: The Serial Monogamist's Guide to Love
by Carina Chocano

"No matter how culturally invalidated you may feel, there is nothing wrong with you, your tepid decisions, or your ambivalent approach to love and commitment. Think of it this way: it is quite possible that you have unconsciously devised a clever way to live the life of a married person and a single person simultaneously without cheating, lying, or developing a set of discrete personalities, each with its own hobbies and dietary restrictions. Why tie the knot, when you can simply leave the rope slung casually over your throat? Why be single on a Saturday night, when you can be single, and therefore trendy, on the dotted line? If noth- ing else, the experience of barreling through a series of committed relationships has probably made you the wiser and stronger beneficiary of an impressive collection of boxer shorts. "

Yes, it is. I'm neurotic as hell and I'm driving myself crazy, which drives those around me crazy. I'm a smothering, clingy, overbearing, oversensitive mess.

I'm getting control back slowly. It just takes some humor. I have to stop being ruled by my erratic emotional states and neuroses.

"Lighten up." she says.

She is right.

Ah, it was co-dependency at first sight.

Moving day in t-2 and counting

Matt, is it really that bad?

Mike, will I be able to come up one last time before you come back? Is this weekend open any time? I think I need a break from Springfield.

Yeah, you and Patti have a nice home. I love all the wild plants and the mysterious lurking Matt Woo.

I can't wait to move out of my parents house. I'm emotionally crippled and immature. Moving out will help me become more so. I plan on moving out next year, after I'm done with school. God, it's embarrasing. I can't take my girlfriend home, cause it's not really my house.

Monica: I'll be living in a state of maddenning anxiety. (with my parents)

Only if you got a phone call. I never asked who won. Maybe I'll query about it tomorrow.

And Gasbag.... i gotta know... did i win a gamecube?

Uncle Mike
Inquiring minds wanna know... where will you live when you move home?

As Dr. Dre would say, "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks".

As Bernard Mickey Rangle would say, "Yum".

A lot of people are trying to place blame for the blackouts last week. I liken the situation to something Homer Simpson once said - It was just a bunch of stuff that happened.

I'll be moving into the gay room Joe. Oh, and shit, I forgot your birthday. When I come in town I'll take you out to lunch. Matt Bright: You will never see any of those crazy people again.

"A tapping, delicately, on my back. I am sitting up on a table, feeling gentle taps on my back, watching a series of images; myriad tables receding into infinity, like two mirrors facing each other.

Farmers milking cows; On each table a person is sitting up and examined by a small, slim, white, intent, fragile, large eyed creature. Their fingers probe lightly, gently, purposely, like playing a piano.

They are milking Chakras or Kundalini nerve centers, seven along each person’s spine. Their touches stimulate hidden DNA sequences as well as retrieve and store data and information along the length of the spinal chord, along a library of nerves.

Like ants milking aphids they spend careful time and effort, gently, delicately, fingering each spine in a long sequence of tables, like marionettes playing human harpsichords.

These manipulations of spinal nerves initiate secret, as yet unbidden DNA sequences..."

http://iwasabducted.com/schroeder/tapping.htm

To be so young and mistaken for gay...