Folkie Wierdo Sufjan Steven is in the process of recording 50 albums, each one dedicated to a different state. His second one just came out and it is titled Illinois.

So that's kind of cool. There some Matt K references in it. Check it out.

Well, you know what? Debunkers and skeptics tend to be assholes.

Have a great Fourth of July everybody! Come to my housewarming party Saturday.

Infernal Egguinox

Another Urban Legend debunked. LPS won't be happy.

Claim: A special property of the equinox allows eggs to be balanced on end that day.

Status: False.

Balancing an egg on end can be achieved any day of the year.

Also, The nursery rhyme 'Ring Around the Rosie' is NOT a coded reference to the Black Plague.

Menstrual blood red carpet

More Wife Jokes:

My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, "I" stayed in the bathroom and cried.

My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost weight, but can she climb a tree!

A man was leaving a cafe with his morning coffee when he noticed almost
unusual funeral procession. A funeral coffin was followed by a second one
about 50 feet behind the first.

Behind the second coffin was a solitary man walking with a black dog. Behind him was a queue of 200 men walking in single line.

The man couldn't stand his curiosity. He approached the man walking with the
dog, "I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb
you, but I've never seen a funeral like this with so many of you walking in
single line. Whose funeral is it?"

The man replied, "Well, that first coffin is for my wife."
The inquisitive man asked, "What happened to her?"
The man replied, "My dog attacked and killed her."
He inquired further, "Well, who is in the second coffin?"
The man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the
dog attacked and killed her also." A thoughtful moment of silence passes
between the two men.

Then the first one asks in excitement "Can I borrow the dog?"
The man replied "Please join the queue."

Whiskey says to me this morning:

You can't cry cause you're laughing at me
I'm down (I'm really down)
I'm down (Down on the ground)
I'm down (I'm really down)
How can you laugh when you know I'm down
(How can you laugh) When you know I'm down

I say to her:

We're all alone and there's nobody else
You still moan, "Keep your hands to yourself!"
I'm down (I'm really down)
Oh baby I'm down (Down on the ground)
I'm down (I'm really down)
How can you laugh when you know I'm down
(How can you laugh) When you know I'm down.
Waaaao! Baby I'm down

I'm Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream according to this quiz and Cookies and Cream ice cream according to this quiz.

Whiskey, please stop taking quizzes.

Dammit, Heat Packer, you were the only one who used those links. I'll put yours back up for you, but everyone else's is up for review.

LPS, I noticed the change from "save us all" to "INTUBATE us all". I even had to LOOK IT UP IN THE DICTIONARY. Aren't you cool. I approve.

The Sneeze

Why can't we be more like this blog?

Particularly, the "Steve, Don't Eat It!" portions, where Steve plays with Pickled Pork Rinds and tries to put the pig back together again, before getting bored and losing the will to live.

I enjoyed Steve's adventure in eating the BLT, too.

"Alas, there is no turning back now. Despite the fact that I am a grown man with children, I'm off to go eat dog food. And what better way to have Beggin' Strips than in a Beggin', Lettuce, and Tomato Sammich!"



"To put it simply, this is the devil's bacon. Even a healthy dose of bread, mayo, lettuce and tomato couldn't come close to masking the evil. The bitter nastiness literally got worse with every chew, and I was overcome by the urge to go in the backyard and eat grass until it was all out of me."

"In closing, the only silver lining to this dark dark cloud is I have figured out why so many dogs lick their own assholes. They are trying to kill the taste of Beggin' Strips. (By the way, it doesn't work.)"

The Sneeze

THE ONION In History

President Wilson Calls For Creation Of Useless World Governing Body
June 29, 1919

Here's a quote... from a priest: If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right.

Another quote I found on Andrew Sullivan's blog: "I think it's also important for the president to lay out a timetable as to how long they will be involved and when they will be withdrawn." - Governor George W. Bush, June 5, 1999, on the troops deployed to Kosovo under president Clinton.

Nice job Matt. Way to post. That all sounded very interesting. Some day I will read it. I swear.

Bad News Cubs: Kerry Wood broke three of his fingers last night while wiping his ass. He will be out for three weeks.

Hey Matt. Can you get rid of some of that yahoo garbage and put in some more Catholic related news? I'll throw some links at you later.

How do you like the Yahoo! news? --->

I put a Daily Bible quote is the side bar too.

If you have any cool sites that you think would be interesting to have on our blog, let me know. They must have an RSS feed available, though.

Really Simple Syndication (RSS) is a lightweight XML format designed for sharing headlines and other Web content. I'm pulling the news from Yahoo! News Highest Rated RSS, and the bible quote from ESV Bible RSS Feeds.

Some bloggers simply take a collection of other blogs RSS feeds and post them. For example, you can have an entire blog made up of headlines you collect.

So many blogs offer RSS feeds, but it is hard to find a good blog. Here is a site that lists available feeds. I'll check for a better sites. http://www.2rss.com Surf around a find the millions of other useless blogs that say nothing.

I'm thinking of getting this cell phone: Nokia 6620 (Cingular)

I'm on Kimberly.

Top 15 Viewed YTMNDs

Tom Cruise Kills Oprah
Vader on Wheel of Fortune
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
NOOOller Coaster

I'm crying right now laughing so hard.

A woman's ass with a flower painted on it can be construed either way - as art or porn - depending on how offended you want to be. By definition, the image is not "the depiction of erotic behavior intended to cause sexual excitement" (Merriam-Webster).

It doesn't arouse sexual excitement in me, yet the image is pleasing to view.

Who's fault is it if a person get aroused? The person's own self? Isn't that why priest's go celibate? On the flip side, isn't it misguided for the Afghani religious police (the Ministry for the Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice) to beat a woman with lengths of steel cable for wearing white socks ("fashionable, omamental, tight and charming clothes" are banned)?

I can't wait to see Trick-or-Treater. I'll wear my sexyist, tightest-fitting white socks.