It's always good to start out with a plan to lose
that way they can truly call themselves losers

They could have. But that would ruin there plans to lose the election.

and last, but certainly most least (hmmm)

Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday dear Michael............. Happy birthday to you................

is anybody here a resume expert? (not you Matt--I know YOU aren't)

aren't friends supposed to be "flowers. beautiful flowers"?