When your bitch is acting out-of-pocket you've got to lay the smack down.

Old pimp trick is to take a wire coat hangar and bend it strait. Beat that ass but don't break the skin or leave too many marks. She ain't gonna make you no money if she's all beat up.

must be the whiskey,

Howard Dean pulled me aside last night. He asked if I had told you that he's not actually the Dean Machine.

I said I didn't have the heart. The guy smoking the pipe next to him chuckled.

Trish asked if you hated her. I told her "Yes." She mentioned something about blood thinners and too much drinking. Then her ex-boyfriend came in and tapped her on the shoulder. She hugged him. It sucks seeing your ex-es. She is still bummed about the band not missing her.

Nick was his normal "I want to get laid tonight" self. He was getting text messages from some girl who lives an hour away: "You make me cum" was the extent of those.
No, he could not borrow my car. I told him to rent a limo.

Also:

Uncles, don't forget to beat up your Afghan Brides.

And if she runs away, call the police on her. They shall administer the mandatory virginity test. If her hymen is not intact, that's a three-year sentence for fornication.

It feels powerful to be an Afghani man. Your thoughts are her thoughts (In a new opinion poll in Afghanistan, 87 percent of those surveyed said women needed to ask their husbands' permission to vote).

Two words: CORPORATE WONDERLAND

LPS--- I don't know about the Ccaption but the merchandise is FREE.
I don't know a better price than that!

What is this: the Springfield Shopper?

MikeMann I have a fern for you hanging in my living room. Contact me to claim your prize.


Does anybeaver need an extra television and VCR? I have one 19 inch television and VCR in my hall closet that I REALLY want to get rid of. I just want to make sure that they get a good home.

LPS----
As for the subaru... yes I really prefer the outback wagon. I could quite possibly entertain the Impreza (the little hatchback thing)

Oh the JOY!!!
I love "little orange rabbit"'s
Is it true? Is Eric really joining the blog?
After 2 years of denying his destiny he finally gives in?

The blog is your density Eric....... thats right.... your density!!

Welcome, new blogger. To get you started, I'm posting an email you sent me Sunday at 4:25 PM.

"hey!, its my smiley face boo.......

( oh....if only i could be a beaver! )

I know ive shunned it in the past, but ive seen the light. In fact, I envy you all.

I also know youve sent me bogus invitations in the past, and i forgive you. Now will you please, for the love of rocky, send me a proper one! (you chant regret it)

cordially,
Eric

( soon to be known as " little orange rabbit" )


P.S. Im drunk "

Ladies and Gentlemen, the new Vice President: John Edwards.

Here's why: "Cheney was also every inch the snarling, hunch-shouldered golem that has made him one of the least popular politicians in recent memory. He seldom looked up at moderator Gwen Ifill, or at the cameras facing him, choosing instead to speak into his own chest for the entire night. Cheney appeared, overall, to cut quite the frightening figure, the dark night to Edwards' optimistic day."

William Rivers Pitt, Cheney's Avalanche of Lies

But Kerry will win because he has more "royal blood" than Bush.
Does royal theory give Kerry edge?
Genealogists call Bush and Kerry kin

I like Little Pink Socks' writing style: It's like poetry with the sudden breaks, ellipses, and capital letters. Plus, the way she puts "quotes" around certain "words" infuses each sentence with "nuance" and extra "meaning".

You guys are killing me with your debate analysis. Why don't we have our own TV show?

Live from Springfield, it's the Wily Beavers.

Now let's hear from our experts...