call me a complainer and then ask me to ask Josh to borrow his stuff?

I have nothing but contempt for all of your wretched souls.

I just had to get that out. Thanks.

You're not the only one sexually fustrated Kim. This morning when I woke up I looked down at "my little friend" and said, "All you ever do is pee."

Can you guys please put your name in parantheses after your user name? Like so: The Happiest White Trash In America(Mark Clot). MOnica is always complaining how she doesn't know who anybody is.

She is bringing me down, man. By the way Monie, can we borrow camping equipment from josh? Did you even ask?

People on this blog would trust me over you, Kim. My cred is sparkling.

I think I'm going to buy a Norma Jean Messenger Bag this morning. THese guys are the greatest hardcore act I've ever heard.

Come on, anyone who writes a songs with titles like "What is this, some sort of freaking Burt Reynolds Convention?" has my undying loyalty.

I was being mean to Kim, per usual, and I called her bluff by asking: "What are you going to do about it?"

Her reply scared me more than any threat I've heard.

"You'll be unhappy," she said with quiet, sad certitute.

"Naked" is a good Sedaris book. His experience at the nudist colony is funny and insightful. Something about people where their personalities on their body with the clothes that they put on. Zoot-suits, shorts, flip-flops or berets: these make statements about who you are.

The problem being, when you take off your clothes and play tennis, your nutsack bounces and we can see the gray hairs on your saggy tits.

Kim tried to take my pants off last night. In my haste to flee, I left my wallet in her room. No big deal. I brought my lunch, so I don't need money. Just please, Kim, after you take all of the money out and the pictures of my other girlfriends, give my wallet back.

Am I the only bugger that never heard of David Sedaris until 3 days ago?

Anyway, I'm on my 2nd book of his and running. Which book do you recommend I get lps?