I wanna see the Flaming Lips, too. But no blowjobs.

"This is for my peeps, with the Bentleys, the Hummers, the Benz
Escalades twenty three inch rims (Oh!)
Jumpin out the Jaguar with the Tims, keep your bread up
And live good, East coast West coast worldwide
All my playas in the hood stay fly
And if your ballin let me hear you say right (Right)"
The Jump Off, Lil' Kim, La Bella Mafia

I have the weekend off so I'm making up for not posting last week. It had nothing to do with CRAZY MONICA. I like, yet am a little scared of, CRAZY MONICA. It's not her fault. Remember, I'm paranoid. I think people are plotting against me, even my friends and family. I'm going jogging tomorrow too, who wants to go? Brian? What is a good time, eh? How about when I get up and when I am ready? That sounds good to me. Me me me me me me ME. Did I mention that I am self-absorbed? I am conflicted because of this self identity. I want to lose my self-importance, then I don't have to choose sides.

I can hold two or more seemingly contradictory views at once. Figure that one out. I'm both pro and anti-war. I'm a devout christian who doesn't believe in God. I can't believe it's not butter. I think Iraq will be liberated and plunged into violent chaos. And it is about oil. Or is it about World domination? I think protesting doesnt accomplish anything and it does accomplish a lot. What if they held an election and nobody showed up? What is they held and election and it was rigged?
What if CRAZY MONICA was not crazy? What if she was crazy some of the time, and sane the rest of the time? How did Avril Lavigne know it was so complicated?

This is why I'm pissed. You see, I'm paranoid. But the difference is that I have my own UNIQUE set of paranoias. I don't need the goverment telling me what to be scared of! I'm scared enough already, dammit!

I admit, I'm a conspiracy researcher. Oswald did not act alone, the CIA controls worldwide drug traffic and funnels it into Wall Street, and 9-11 was a global government operation with a massive coverup that followed. THe banks are controlled, the medical industry makes people sick, and Isreal really does influence foreign policy. And there are better suppressed technologies, universities make students better workers instead of better thinkers, and aliens live among us.

Because I believe all these things, I'm a paranoid conspiracy nut.

BUT, Being paranoid about terrorist attacks that are unlikelyto happen in most cities worldwide is ok. You are more likely to die of a heart attack or a car crash than by a terrorist. And if you do get killed by a terrorist, the government was probably behind it in some way.

Fuck it. I'm becoming a priest. Hail Mary, full of grace...

"The US government has a new website, http://www.ready.gov/. It's another attempt at scare mongering in the style of the old "duck and cover" advice after WWII." Here is the government preparedness parady site. Very funny. Laughter gets rid of the war jitters for a few minutes.

Matt, next time you go, give me a call. I need to work off my winter coat.

I'm going to run around Washington Park. Anybody wanna join? What are some other good places or trails to run or hike on?

Leela: Bender, you have to drink. Do it for the people that love you.

Bender: I hate the people who love me and they hate me.

Bender the Bending Robot after getting into a fight with Fry, his first human friend.

I tried to send you a picture of a kidnapped little girl so you could go find her and it came back to me.

Brian, I know not of which intelligence report you speak of. And what happened to your email address?

Sorry for the minimal posts. I have been out in the field lately watching out for our boys over in Babylon.

"Babylon (ancient city), major city of the ancient world, located 90 km (56 mi) south of present-day Baghdad, Iraq. About 2200 BC Babylon was known as the site of a temple, and during the 21st century BC it was subject to the nearby city of Ur.

Babylon became an independent city-state by 1894 BC, when the Amorite Sumu-abum founded a dynasty there. This dynasty reached its high point in the 18th century BC under Hammurabi. In 1595 BC the city was captured by Hittites, and it later came under the control of the Kassite dynasty (1590?-1155 BC). The Kassites expanded Babylon into the country of Babylonia and made the city the religious and administrative center of this kingdom.

From the late 8th century BC until Nabopolassar expelled the Assyrians, between 626 and 615 BC, the city was part of the Assyrian Empire. Nabopolassar founded the neo-Babylonian dynasty, and his son Nebuchadnezzar II expanded the kingdom. In 539 BC Cyrus the Great incorporated Babylonia into the newly founded Persian Empire. Alexander the Great captured the city in 330 BC. Later it was used as a capital by the Seleucid dynasty set up by Alexander's successors. In the early 3rd century BC most of Babylon's population was moved to a new capital, and the city almost disappeared before the coming of Islam in the 7th century AD.

Babylon is best known for Esagila, the temple of Marduk; Etemenanki, a seven-storied ziggurat; and the Hanging Gardens, one of the Seven Wonders of the World, which Nebuchadnezzar II built for his wife."

No doubt part of the plan is to plunge that region into civil and bloody tribal confict, not liberation as the neo-cons propagandists claim.

24 hour TV war coverage, the new Sun god. "The main point about the information environment is that we have to realize that the audience feeds on itself and that TV is like the sun - it's always going to come up. Once a society starts to use electric media, it's like nature, it will want to be used 24 hours a day, there will always be something that has to be on the electric environment. People turn it on not really for what is on the media, but to experience that electric discarnate space which is TV itself - that vibrating, resonating dimension you feel is communicating and resonating with everybody else that's watching it. So that is a psychotic, obsessive need we have once we have the TV environment. So therefore, we have to have content on at all times, and therefore, everything becomes content. That's Warhol's prediction, and every artifact gets exhausted because by the middle '70s everything is played out. Then you've got to do it with a sense of irony or detachment and keep the content going, but then you say: "this is ridiculous - keeping the content going", and that's what Letterman played up. So the hidden ground is the need for TV to keep itself going with content."

THE MOTIVES & CONSEQUENCES OF THE SIXTIES COUNTERCULTURE AND BEYOND
with Bob Dobbs and Paul Krassner - April 13, 1994
FLIPSIDE #99 - DEC. '95/JAN. '96 & FLIPSIDE #100 - FEB. '96/MARCH '96

I'm not really getting into this reality show. Would someone please change the channel?

Monica, I would like to see this intelligence report your inferring to. My reports show the contrary. Are you privy to information that is not availiable to me?

Polar bear cubs are cute.

I might have some extra tickets for a upcoming show in Champaign. Will keep you beavers posted on their status in a couple weeks.

nO bRIAN that most certainly was NOT a threat. It was a prediction.

the blog is becoming a very sad place for me to visit. Only one post a day. Geez. Where have all the little runaways gone? where have all the colonels gone? I'm making myself back in to monica cuz i think crazy monica has scared off the beavers.

Is that a threat, or a promise?!?

Actually, red was the correct answer as I was eating a red sweettart while writing that. Congradulations on a stellar job!

Brian.... you will be tasting the color of blood! Matt Bright, I'm not really sure, CRAZY MONICA is never sure what will happen next. She is Crazy!

Ok 'CRAZY MONICA', what color am I tasting now???

Hello Beavers.... I am going to try out a new personality on you. I am warning you now. Her name is "CRAZY MONICA". You'll learn more about her as the time passes on.

WAR! Good God. What is it good for?

South Park was great last night. Earth is a reality TV show for the Universal Network. What I have been saying all along!

i've got a dickie

HA HA HA childlike "dickie" joke in 3...2...1...

the lips are playing at the canopy club in champaign on may fourth. hell f'n yeah.

If I was a pro quaterback known for erratic and inconsistent play I'd probably stay away from Chicago.

The Chicago media is going to eat Kordell Stewart alive.

SM - very Catholic Matt

I don't have much guilt, I have too much self-importance for that. That is precisely why I need to become a better Catholic -- to learn deep guilt and worry and get rid of my self-absorbed ways.
My attitude is definately cavalier. A solid Catholic schoolboy whipping is what I want.

Well I am capable of great destruction, and I have red hair. I've never understood the self-loathing catholics have. Why would you ever want to be part of an organization that made you feel that way?

redheads are not capable of destruction. I don't know what would give you that idea. Joe---I have to admit, that i read your response to matt's question and i totally love it. It's true. Sin and feel guilty. That's what it takes.

HA HA HA HA HA

Redheads will destroy you all! The apocalyptic fish said so!

/usr/include/g+++-3

How can I be a better Catholic?

the curse of the red. AND HOW! anyhow, Deni isn't one of my favorite subjects in the entire world, so let's move on. (i can be a self absorbed manipulative bitch too) jJUST KIDDING - Mike we can talk about whatever you want. Matt Bright, HAS anyone ever attacked your character in a similar manner, subquestion, if they did--what did you do about it?

redheads destroy me. i've played all my old tricks on this redhead at work and she completely ignores me. she kills me. i go way outta my way to make a complete ass of myself, and still, no response. It's the curse of the Red.

When Deni and I used to fight, I would give her a dictionary so that she could come up with new mean things to call me. It was fun. I never took fighting too seriously. She told me often that I didn't have a "real" personality. I took that as a compliment, meaning what I lacked in real personality I made up for with intelligence. My favorite Deni quote was when she said I played her like a gameboy. Deni was a self-absorbed-manipulative bitch. Fuck no, I didn't love her.

Well Joe, Mr. Cartmann is correct. I am 27 now. And I'm loving every minute of it. I haven't had a bad moment yet of being 27.
Life at 27 is full of joy, happiness and bliss. Matt K. and Eric F. were able to come out and help me to have a most memorable and joyous evening. I have crises around cute red heads as well. Redheads are my weakness in life.

Are you having an identity crisis Matt?

Sometimes i have an identity crisis when I'm around cute red-heads.

Monica is 27.

More great albums 02. The Walkmen. They sold one of their songs to a Saturn car commercial. great song - bad car. I still think Grandaddy's Sophmore Slump is the best ablum of the last three years.

deni called me a cock-sucking poseur when we broke up (hint: erik cartmann is every mann)