Is anybody going out tonight?

a job offer in Florida? DON'T DO IT!!!
It would just be all sunsine and beaches. It probably wouldn't
EVER be cold. You would miss your mommy and you would
develop insomnia. Pills will start to look pretty good and before you know it
you're covered in white powder and can't explain why you are running in
circles. (did you know that the motion of gravity is toward the center of the
circle? Hop on a merry go round sometime and test it out)
Can I get one of those pills?

How did Mr Beavers know I wanted to be a trapeze artist? Really, just shoot me out of a cannon, if you please.

(Mr Beavers met us outside of the Brewhaus that night after "The Passion". He saw Dave, Kim, and I and asked us seriously if we were in the circus. He wore his cell phone on a belt clip on his khaki shorts. He -swear to God- said his name was Mike Beavers.)

I got a job offer in Florida. No benefits. Start Immediately. Good salary.
I told him I have to take the year off and bum around Europe with my girlfriend.

William F. Buckley Jr. - POB: Print Oriented Bastard. Hates anarchists.
Against me! - POB: Poetry Oriented Bastards. Hate Conservatives. Makes better music than William.

Kim's Birthday is the 22nd of September. She can balance an egg on her head only on her birthday, since it falls on the Autumnal Equinox. But at 11:30 a.m. she may still be drunk off cheap wine and try to eat the egg.

Following the Republican Convention and Talent Show, Chris Matthews penned the Republicans as the "daddy party."

I don't know about that. I can't really see anybody calling Bush "daddy." Maybe "ho."

There's this creepy guy at work who calls Eric a ho. Sometimes when Eric is really being a ho, he get called a hobag.

Molly Ivins came up with that "condom stuffed with walnuts" analagy, but I guess she stole it from somebody else who 10 years ago called Arnold "a brown condom filled with almonds."

I wish Tayter Salad were around so he could hear me affectianately compare Bill Clinton making a phone call to John Kerry to Mark McGwire calling Jim Edmands. I miss Tayter Salad.

That comparison only offends half of Joe's sensibilities.