THE PROCESS
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1) Using the magnifying glass and the fine-tip pen, dot the core and delta, as
well as any outstanding groups of characteristics, on one of your fingertips.

2) Take the double-edged razor blade and snap it in half lengthwise. Twist one
piece lengthwise again and break it in half. You should now have one quarter
of the blade, with a scalpel-like edge.

3) Taking the edged piece, carefully cut a straight line 3/32 of an inch through
each dot right into the epidermis, but NOT into the dermis, which would draw
quite a noticeable amount of blood. Think "papercut."

4) Using the tweezers, pick up a small pellet of lye and insert it into one cut.
As soon as the lye combines with your bodily fluids, a chemical reaction will
result that will last approximately one minute. And yes, this will hurt. It
will, in fact, hurt like fucking hell. You may want something to bite down
on.

5) The lye will burn a dark circle 3/32 of an inch in diameter into the dermis
with little or no damage to the epidermis. Repeat the procedure with each
dot.

6) Taking the nail clippers, carefully clip the epidermis around the edge of
each circle. This will expose concave cavities filled with semiclear jelly.
(In case you're wondering, this jelly is burnt skin.)

7) Clean the cavities with ordinary soap and water and apply your salve. Try
to get yourself a salve with what they call "three-way" healing properties.
This means it'll have an antibiotic, a local analgesic, and an enzyme (which
will dissolve the burnt connective tissue lining the cavities). One brand-
name for this stuff is Elase. Shop around, read ingredients, etc.

8) Wrap your finger in gauze, then repeat the entire procedure on all finger and
thumb pattern areas as well as any significant palm print characteristics.

Within about a month your fingers will have healed. You should have obliterated
(or at least seriously altered) any outstanding groups of characteristics. The
total count on any one finger will now probably number around 10 - 15 points or
less. As an added bonus, you'll have destroyed your cores and deltas, thereby
making an accurate classification and ridge count impossible as well as changing
the corresponding specifics and formulas. This makes it a bit harder to get an
accurate file of your prints back into a computer should you ever be unfortunate
or stupid enough to get printed again.

The healing process of severely damaged tissue, especially burnt tissue,
permanently scars the epidermis, causing the misalignment of the ridge lines in
the pattern area. Therefore, a before-and-after visual examination would show
the fingerprints are similar but couldn't prove conclusively they are identical.
And a before-and-after computer evaluation would indicate the fingerprints do
not match and conclusively are not identical.

Congratulations. And wear gloves next time.