Am I the only bugger that never heard of David Sedaris until 3 days ago?

Anyway, I'm on my 2nd book of his and running. Which book do you recommend I get lps?

Is anybody going out tonight?

a job offer in Florida? DON'T DO IT!!!
It would just be all sunsine and beaches. It probably wouldn't
EVER be cold. You would miss your mommy and you would
develop insomnia. Pills will start to look pretty good and before you know it
you're covered in white powder and can't explain why you are running in
circles. (did you know that the motion of gravity is toward the center of the
circle? Hop on a merry go round sometime and test it out)
Can I get one of those pills?

How did Mr Beavers know I wanted to be a trapeze artist? Really, just shoot me out of a cannon, if you please.

(Mr Beavers met us outside of the Brewhaus that night after "The Passion". He saw Dave, Kim, and I and asked us seriously if we were in the circus. He wore his cell phone on a belt clip on his khaki shorts. He -swear to God- said his name was Mike Beavers.)

I got a job offer in Florida. No benefits. Start Immediately. Good salary.
I told him I have to take the year off and bum around Europe with my girlfriend.

William F. Buckley Jr. - POB: Print Oriented Bastard. Hates anarchists.
Against me! - POB: Poetry Oriented Bastards. Hate Conservatives. Makes better music than William.

Kim's Birthday is the 22nd of September. She can balance an egg on her head only on her birthday, since it falls on the Autumnal Equinox. But at 11:30 a.m. she may still be drunk off cheap wine and try to eat the egg.

Following the Republican Convention and Talent Show, Chris Matthews penned the Republicans as the "daddy party."

I don't know about that. I can't really see anybody calling Bush "daddy." Maybe "ho."

There's this creepy guy at work who calls Eric a ho. Sometimes when Eric is really being a ho, he get called a hobag.

Molly Ivins came up with that "condom stuffed with walnuts" analagy, but I guess she stole it from somebody else who 10 years ago called Arnold "a brown condom filled with almonds."

I wish Tayter Salad were around so he could hear me affectianately compare Bill Clinton making a phone call to John Kerry to Mark McGwire calling Jim Edmands. I miss Tayter Salad.

That comparison only offends half of Joe's sensibilities.

Have you numb skulls been watching this Republican Convention Talent Show?

Those ho's that W. calls his daughters are "big up" comical.

They did something with their Grandma today, and the event was titled " 'W' Stands for Women."

George Women Bush.

I met IRA ( = cool ) Kaplan after a show at the firehouse in Stl. Yo la tengo is still the best show I've seen. Topping Pink Floyd and David Bowie and Motorhead.

Ira and Georgia are God.

sunsquashed.com has some great mp3's to rip.

DHARMA THE CAT'S FOUR TRUTHS:

1. Impermanence: In life, the only constant factor is change.

2. Reciprocity: Whatever qualities you perceive in other people you draw
out in them.

3. Self-Description: Peoples judgements and criticisms of others (as
distinct from detached observations) are self-descriptive.


4. Accusation: Accusers are guilty.

Kim did get Howard Dean's autograph last night. She made him screech first.

Ok kids. Daddy's home. Time to clean up this blog.

You! Update those hyperlinks and watch the language!

I'm loving the invitation to see the Passion! I've had a brutal week so I should be able to identify with all of the flogging and bloodiness that guy endured.

I remember I told the secretary at the chiropratic office that I felt like Jesus on the cross after going through 15 minutes of traction. She said, "But he died for our sins." She missed my point completely. I suffered so completely and willingly that eventually I achieved a state of grace. Plebeians. Don't they teach them anything at Westside Christian Church?

I've been watching Baby Einstein DVD's with my newphew.

I now know how to say: "this blog needs and enema" in Russian, Hewbrew, French, Spanish, English, German, and Japanese.

Is it just me or does it appear as if Matt K. and "little pink socks" have dated in the past. The rhetoric between those two suggests a failed and frightening romance.

I've never know Matt to be too pre-occupied with his "thing", unless what you mean by "thing" is his hairdresser.

I am down with The Passion. Will their be tequilla served, or should I bring some passion punch? And who else is coming?

You must watch a in depth session of weird latvian church pr0n to get the answer.

Mike and Mattie-----
If you are interested (this includes Eric too) I am inviting you over (oh my god......... ) to our place Saturday evening for a Pre-Street date screening of THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST
provided you are interested.

RSVP me ASAP
Approximate start time 8:00 pm

is there anybody out there who can give me the rundown on who all of the beavers are.
For instance : who is mike seaver?
Who are you people?

wedgies... now those are sweet. I would prefer a wedgie over a noogie anyday.

welcom new Beaver.... whoever you are.

No, SHE is dancing with her old friend, the raptor!

There are no robots in God's Kingdom. I do love the symbolism of the heroic woman fighting the velocoraptors. What are the dinosaurs a metaphor for?

We are all vying for the most popular, and the most Bitchy, but who is the Wilyest Beaver of them all?

how overwhelming.

How embarassing. Double posts.

kaaza = porn The porn industry - to the best of my knowledge - hasn't gone after p2p programs. I think it's because ( a thousand reasons.)

bitcomet.com has a good torrent program. Download the program from that site and then go to suprnova.org to get the music, movies, tv shows, applications, and etc. Notice the missing "e" in the name of the web site.

I downloaded three Can albums this afternoon.

Can - another good name for toosh. Can - the other white meat.

kaaza = porn

bitcomet.com has a good torrent program. Download the program from that site and then go to suprnova.org to get the music, movies, tv shows, applications, and etc. Notice the missing "e" in the name of the web site.

I downloaded three Can albums this afternoon.

Can - another good name for toosh. Can - the other white meat.

Could it be that Chet Baker was a major spaz, and that's why nobody loved him?

Should we feel sorry for a guy just because he could toot a wonderful horn.

On that Note, another word for Asss? Fartbox.

You guys are like my best friends.

"Like" as in similar. You're all similar to my best friends.

Differences? Well you people have really stupid names. And you don't worship me like a god.

wanna wrestle?

This whole blog smells like butt.

I think somebody needs to wash their socks.

Their little Pinks Socks!!!

That's the end of my attack on one of the beavers for this month. Maybe September will be your month!

I think it's that time of the month again where I verbally (?) attack one of the beavers. Is that right? Verbal. Do I verbally attack you guys?

So who's it going to be this time?

I like to post in clusters.

I watched the movie Party Monster, and my favorite line is by this guy who is trying to write a book, and in five years he wrote just 2 pages. Anyway he's talking to the Mcauly Calk In charater and he says that he wrote the perfect line, and he wishes he could get it published. Just the one line, right.

If I could publish one line I would publish the following sentence, I like to post in clusters.

I got Joe an Atilla the Hun action figure for his b-day.

If my sister were here she would say I got Joe an Atilla the Hun doll.

Do you guys believe in Satan?

"Beavers are good-natured, gentle, and clean. They make a friendly pet that follows its owner around much like a dog, scrambling up onto a lap to be rubbed on the belly whenever its invited. In 1970 beavers were commonly kept as pets around Indian encampments (including F-troop), but they do have a fatal flaw in a modern household: they never stop building. When kept indoors, they will cut down the legs of tables and chairs and build little dams between pieces of furniture. Left on their own, they will rearrange waterways."

Fewer college students choose computer majors

"Many U.S. graduate programs rely on foreign students who come here to study. In the USA and Canada, 43% of computer science and engineering recipients are non-resident aliens, the CRA says.

New security regulations might be keeping these students from applying. In India, the number of students taking the Graduate Record Exam, the test required for most applicants to U.S. graduate schools, fell 56% this school year, vs. last, test adinistrators say. In China, test-taking fell 52%."

Hooray for Mark and me.

I do not like green acres theme song. So I'll turn the volume off.

Happy note: I just saw a beaver cross the road on my way back to campus from Nick's Italian Restaurant! I swear to G-d it was a beaver. He was so fat and cute. Can it be? Why was he crossing the road?

I thought I saw a beaver at the Washington Park, but it turned out it was some other wet rodent, larger than a rat but smaller than the Wily Beaver I saw cross the road between LLCC and UIS. Now that Washington Park has that land reclamation project going, more animals have places to live and hide, especially in the tall weeds and grass by the pond.

I just got up from a good six hours of zloading. I had one two many last night. I was talking to Ebon Moore (sp?) about relationships and girls. It turns out he is a hopeless idealistic romantic like myself.

What a fool.

For those who are new to the blog, which is all of you because since we change our names so much, noone knows anyone, I am Matt. Some people like to point out the fact that I'm short. I like to point out the fact that a pretty 20-something is playing with my hair in front of them. That shuts 'em up.

Also, it is summer, what is left of it, which is a time many young lords and ladies "hook up," to use the vernacular.

um... I'm running out of things to talk about. HIPPO!

Actually, I have a lot to say, especially to that Kim girl. My first question would be, "What are you kidding me?"

I think we change our names more then we actually post.

I think that's what makes our blog special.

Alas, I also don't know who the fuck any of you are any more.

"f koopa troopas" up in this blog bitch.

Hands up - who likes Me.

OBAMA: Now even as we speak, there are those who are preparing to divide us, the spin masters and negative ad peddlers who embrace the politics of anything goes.

Well, I say to them tonight, there's not a liberal America and a conservative America; there's the United States of America.

(APPLAUSE)

There's not a black America and white America and Latino America and Asian America; there's the United States of America.

(APPLAUSE)

The pundits, the pundits like to slice and dice our country into red states and blue States: red states for Republicans, blue States for Democrats. But I've got news for them, too. We worship an awesome God in the blue states, and we don't like federal agents poking around our libraries in the red states.

We coach little league in the blue states and, yes, we've got some gay friends in the red states.

(APPLAUSE)

There are patriots who opposed the war in Iraq, and there are patriots who supported the war in Iraq.

We are one people, all of us pledging allegiance to the stars and stripes, all of us defending the United States of America.

I'm down with the constant F-Troop references. I've never seen it and have no idea what your talking about, but as long as it's funny to YOU...keep it going.

Mike and Eric are leaving for Chicago Thursday and Friday to see Matt Bright and Sonic Youth.

Yeaahhhhhhh!!!!!!

Boys and their video games...
Good luck on your finals.

I feel like I'm in a time loop. REpeating the same patterns in my life over and over again.

Does anyone know much about Irish wakes, or experienced one? Apparently they celebrate departure, rather than mourn and lament it. What a beutiful concept. I'm so hung up on things ending. I can't bear it. My new attitude is that if it's over, hooray!
If you're leaving me, Hooray!!! If the event has run it's course, Yippee Skippee! (You guys have no idea how counter-intuitive this idea is to me psyche.)

I'm done blogging for now, so I'm out.

HOOORAYYYYY!!!!!!

Personally, I'm not a dreamer. I am a destroyer of lies and a gnawer and a swimmer.

Mattie....... I saw Chino and Khalil on Sunday night at the famvid on Jefferson while working there. they like to play video games.

Finals are just 2 days away and much study time awaits. Have a beaver week!

911 report: "Oops, Our bad. We should have done more."

That's it?

Matt threw a party. Strange enough.

At some point in the night, I came to the realization that I was at "that" party. You know what I mean here?  At every party you realize that you at some kind of party, and someone says something that is completely cool and acceptable, but only at "that" kind of party.

I think what was said was the word "argayle." 

Matt threw the kind of party where the word "argaryle" was just great.

Khalil starts second grade today.

I'm going swimming.

Stupid tiny letters. My posts get smaller and smaller. Blogger is acting strange.

Plus, Margaret, aka, "little pink socks" is MIA. And all her posts are gone with her. She will be missed, for she injected a little much-needed life into this floundering blog.

Come back, little pink socks, come back!

Monica, that is not just a funny cartoon, but also a t-shirt! I thought it was funny because it talks about relationships and beavers, my two favorite things.

"Kim" is absolutely adorable. As for whether she takes one lump or two, I've yet to ask. She used to teach at Building Blocks, if I'm not mistaken, or one of those places with the little people - "kids" I belive they are called. She likes children, you like children (other people's of course), you two would get along famously. Maybe not J-lo and Ben famous, but famous enough.

Here's to hoping my party is a blowout, not a washout. If it rains....no one's allowed inside. Let them get wet.

Did any of you know what  a bitch it is to get into UofI in Champaign?
I mean really folks............ it's just a college.
I can get in but their gen ed requirements include 3 years of a foreign language.
Does Sign-language count as a foreign language?

That's all folks...........

Hey White Bitch--------
 Just wanted to let you know that Wynona looks good in the window.
It's perfect, don't change a thing.

Good Morning Beaver Friends (and Strangers)

   I was hoping that one of you could tell me a little bit more about "Kim". (Matt, you let her name slip in your last post).
Who is Matt's friend? Where did he meet her? What is her favorite color? Does she take one lump or two?
I want to come to Matt's soire (sp?) /bash on Friday night but I am terribly afraid of meeting new people. This "kim" person may prevent me from showing up.  (Probably not but I'll try that excuse).

Matt......... I loved the cartoon you posted. It was funny.

 

"Woodward meets Bush at a White House Christmas party in 2002. Though it's months before the prez would declare war on Iraq, Bush suggests that a sequel to Woodward's previous best seller, Bush at War, should be in the works.'Maybe it will be called More Bush at War,' Bush says. Laura Bush responds, 'Let's hope not.'" [Slate's "Condensed Bob Woodward";

HMMMM. Point taken, just like the panties from the neighbor lady's bedroom you stole.

What's the reverse sexist remark for "All women are sluts"? I'm not saying they are, that would be wrong and sexist. I'm all about gender equality.

Since we are on the subject, Kim told me I turned her into a whore. She is really funny. I'm serious, she cracks me up. Who says shit like that? It's funny because she is so cute and sweet, you don't expect it, like watching a butterfly curse obscenely while fluttering about the flowers.

Party at my house Friday kids, all are welcome. Doesn't start till 9:00.

I'd like to touch on reverse sexism at this moment in time, because personally I am in favor of it. I think it can be sexy if it's done right - and in moderation.

Seriously, out of the lot of us, who hasn't put one of their ex-bosses or girlfriends bra on, and sneaked into the neighbors house for some high heels.

Yawn. Good morning. How was your weekend?

Good. Mine too. Went too fast though. I'm tired. I don't even want to talk now. I got the house to myself this week.

wake up beavers
 

The TRUE INTELLIGENTSIA never quite get a good night sleep, unlike us petty bourgeois.

On a brighter note, it looks like I'm going to be having sex very soon. That can have either positive or negative effects on sleeping patterns.

I take offence to the "male apes" quip. Are you not anape because you have a vagina? Apes can have nurturing feminie qualities too, ya know. Very caring and sociable creatures, whatever gender. Besides, comparing men to apes might be insulting to apes.

If you make any more sexist remarks on my blog Little Pinky, you will be d-L33ted. (I'm so sick of reverse sexism and this double standard woman use against us men.)

"Little Pink Socks" you are up and blogging quite early this a.m.
Have a cup of coffee and have a nice day.

How about a thermos? Yes a thermos of water. Do that. Do Something. I mean c'mon figure this water problem out.

I like your name little pink socks. I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who appreciates the oscure reference that you are so aptly and cleverly making. Kudos! To you and me.

Let's hang out and drink cosmos sometime. Just wait to you see how hot and happy I am. And I have the buns of an angel.

My next name is going to be The Hottest White Bitch in America.

Ya never know how difficult transferring to UIUC is until "you" try. I'm going to Champaign tomorrow to the U of I.

Here are some archived live shows: universal buzz

Where else are you gonna hear The Need? Pretty obscure.

"we" use a brita filtration system. As a matter of fact, we have a pitcher of non-cold water and a huge brita family sized reservoir of cold water in the fridge.
mmmmmmmmmmmm crisp clean water

You have little pink socks? "we" want a pair. Pink is "our" favorite color.

Do any of you beavers out there know how easy or difficult it might be to transfer colleges? "we" may be moving to Champaign in August provided "we" get on the ball.

To all my perverted male friends (which is all of male friends), watch this video: BennyBenassi Satisfaction VIDEO

This sounds like fun. Anyone want to go to NYC for the Republican National Convention this August?

"The Green Party is working with a few other groups to organize a
peace rally during the republican convention of this year. There will
be workshops and conferences throughout the week preceeding and I am
expecting a whole slew of awesome events. It should be an amazing
event with Greens from all over the country. It's the perfect thing
to energize our local group and connect with other groups nationwide.
I believe most of you are familiar with our trip to DC in 2002. I
expect this event to be even more fufilling in the sense that we can
actually organize directly with other greens and also in the
particulary pertinent time its being held, during the reign of
bushanites and neocons.

The unfortunate thing is that the protest is going to be during the
last part of august, which doesn't leave us with much time to
organize while on campus. I am going to do my part to organize during
the summer, so that we can hit the ground running at the start of
school. I am waiting on more details, which I will relay to all of
you when I get them, but I would like to and will need to include
everyone in the preparations for this campaign. We are going to need
to have a pretty well-thought-out plan of efforts if we hope to
organize a group to get out there. I do know that there's a good
chance we can hitch a ride with greens in chicago if we can't garner
enough financial and otherwise support to provide our own
transportation. We do need to raise money for room and board,
however, I am assuming. The most important thing is getting the word
out so we can get as many students as possible to head out there."

What is going on?

It's Moonday morning. I've got a ton of work to do.
I plan on making some CD's for various cute and friendly girls I know. Good thing my bosses are all in meetings. I better hurry.

Let's check out the top searches on Yahoo. I recommend visiting JoJo's website. Keep your ears on this up and comer!

Blog ya later!

The Leaderboard

This Week		Last Week	Subject	Weeks on Chart
1		-	Maria Sharapova	1
2		13	Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen	2
3		39	Lindsay Lohan	9
4		3	Britney Spears	170
5		2	Usher	18
6		-	Tour de France	1
7		29	Wimbledon	2
8		14	Hilary Duff	47
9		-	Spider-Man 2	3
10		-	Spider-Man	3
11		28	NASCAR	19
12		7	Jennifer Lopez	170
13		1	Euro 2004	3
14		6	Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban	18
15		4	Jessica Simpson	26
16		11	Eminem	104
17		9	Linkin Park	63
18		17	Avril Lavigne	12
19		-	Marlon Brando	1
20		8	JoJo	9

Fire in the whole!

Oh you pretty things, yes it is the little things
that make the world go round.

Exterminate them

I like that name: The WILY INTRUDER. Sounds like a burgler.

I hope Monica/Josh approves. Today is a little overcast. I slept my ass off last night, thanks in part to the little white pill. At least nobody has bothered me this morning: I've only been here 24 minutes.

Actually, I think Mike left his stove on.

We'll think about the dinner proposition. We'll let you know

We think that from now on... we'll refer to me as "we" so it appears that Josh has some bearing on EVERY decision that I make.

If you have any objections you can let us (by us i mean "we")know.

"Private". Right. I never said it was your email, did I?

Give yourself a blog name, will you? Your posts say "posted by on Wednesday, July 07, 2004 at 9:57 AM" It can be changed in the settings area.

I think Josh should cook us dinner some night.

Monica, make your boyfriend cook us a pot roast or something.

Please, I'm really hungry. And it would be nice to sit down to dinner with you two. I saw you and Josh at FamVid, but all he had to say was when my movies were due back (Monday and Thursday). He did ask about what I do, but that isn't the time or place for socializing.

Fine, bologna sandwiches with mayonnaise will due. Just invite Mike and me over. Mike will bring a cassorole, now that he has his own stove.

Always Look on the Bright Side of Life

Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best...

And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...

If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing.

And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...

For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.

So always look on the bright side of death
Just before you draw your terminal breath

Life's a piece of shit
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.

And always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the right side of life...
(Come on guys, cheer up!)
Always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the bright side of life...
(Worse things happen at sea, you know.)
Always look on the bright side of life...
(I mean - what have you got to lose?)
(You know, you come from nothing - you're going back to nothing.
What have you lost? Nothing!)
Always look on the right side of life...

I talked to Kim last night. SHe said that maybe we shouldn't get drunk together anymore.

I read that to mean that their is still a chance we can make out again.

As Reverend Jesse Jackson once said:

Keep hope alive.

Keep hope alive.

Keep hope alive.

"I am the happiest white bitch in America....thanks to you"

My fans, ladies and gentlemen.

Hello, my quiet little soldiers! The war is not yet lost.

Quoth the Raven, "Nevermind".

As for carrot cake, "The Center for Science in the Public Interest (CSPI) has named The Cheesecake Factory’s Carrot Cake as its Food Porn of the Month for June, for having 1,560 calories and 84 grams of fat, 23 of them saturated, in one slice. The average adult consumes about 2,000 calories in an entire day..."

Carrot Cake on Steroids

GOOD MORNING BEAVERS!!!

Music makes one feel so romantic - at least it always gets on one's nerves - which is the same thing nowadays.
Oscar Wilde

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
Oscar Wilde, In Life of Oscar Wilde, H. Pearson

I can resist anything but temptation.
Oscar Wilde, Lady Windermere's Fan, 1892, Act I

d-L33t3r is a AI construct, that lives on the Internet. It roams arounds the world, deleting things from people's computers both at random and using some sick malevolent logic.

His representative here in the physical world is my Mild-mannered co-worker Mark.

If you're not wierd, then I'm not the Most Popular Beaver!!!

I saw all of the above (or should I say below) posts.
I am glad to be home!!

Welcome back Monica. Things got a little crazy here at the blog while you were away. Howard Dean told everybody that you were dead, and then Matt K. suggested we replace you with some wierd guy named d L3373r. And while all this was happening I had this really funny post about me not knowing how to drive an automatic transmission, and later Howard Dean said it was the most fucking hilarious thing he's ever read. And then Matt K. said he wanted to see your sister is a swimsuit calender.

My E drive is shot, it won't eject. Right now it's got Matt Woo's Bad Religion CD stuck in it.

So if anybody wants to come over and listen to Bad Religion all afternoon ...

OK so that last post about tripping a mama kangaroo was a bit insesitive, and might be one of the reasons I don't have a girlfriend right now. I apologize for my obvious lack of respect for wildlife and motherhood.

If you could pick one person in the world to trip, who would it be?

I would trip a mama kangaroo.

Probably in my top ten posts.

yeee haww

I AM ALIVE!!!

I AM ALIVE!!!

Kix is beautiful.

I don't know about you guys but when I am at partys often I become obsessed with being funny.

So here is one of my jokes that popped up recently. It's about 2 or 3 in the morning and people are trying to find ways home. Either they lost their keys or are too drunk to drive, etc... (Ideal time to get laid)

So this girl wants somebody to drive her car home, and after that she doesn't really have a plan. No one really likes her, and all are trying to get out of driving her home.

So, get this, I ask if she drives a 5-speed or an automatic. She says she drives an automatic, so I says I don't know how to drive an automatic.

So she spends the next ten minutes trying to explain to me how to drive an automatic, and I try to look completely dumfounded.

I've never shared that story with anyone before, and felt that keeping that sort of humor from the world a secret would just be a crime.

Cocoa Puff is really a beautiful name if you strip it of its meaning and connotations.

AMEN TO THAT!!

I nominate d-L3373r.

Not to replace our beloved Monica, who so loved the River she gave herself to it, but to continue on in her spirit.

The 6th street Family video crew is the sexiest it's been since Monica and I left. Girls of Family Video Swimsuit Calendar anyone? (Of course, all employees who pose in the Family Video Swimsuit Calendar have to follow dresscode guidelines, which includes no facial hair, small earrings for women, no peircings, slacks, and a decent haircut.)

My sister's name is Meredith. She has wanted to seduce you for years. I just never thought to mention it.

And if I think that your brother is sexually attractive I would never admit it to anyone.
The cereal name that you want for your future potential niece is....... not Fruit Loop.... Not Apple Jack but perhaps... Captain Crunch or even Cocoa Puff.
Think about it... you can get back to me.

Here's wishing all past present and future beavers a lovely weekend. I'll be canoeing my life away. I hope that I don't fall out of the canoe and DIE! Wish me luck!

M

To which Nelly the bunny replied hopping mad, "there's love in the air, and I'm on the ground."

Billy was Willy
the Wily Beaver's kin
roiling by the rushes
a manic state was he in

Thus Willy inquired of Billy
the source of his current frenzy
Billy swam ever faster, more upset
avoiding the aformentioned topic completely

Yes my sister is pregnant, and she is going to have a girl. I want them to name her after a cereal.

Speaking of getting shagged Monica:

I've been going to the family video store on sixth street and have noticed a new girl working there. She's pretty cute, and has a great smile. I was thinking about asking her out on a date, until I realized she was your sister. Holy Shit!

So, I came to the conclusion that she's been trying to seduce me.

This is the first time one of your sisters has tried to seduce me.

Has my brother ever tried to seduce you, and, question two, do you find my brother sexually attractive?

Oh yeah, more small world shit. I found a place to stay. I am moving into an apartment above the Brewhaus that was once occupied by Denise.

Denise apparantly does find Matt Woo sexually attractive. They had sex two nights ago. Anyway, all this means is that Matt Woo is going to be living on my coach now, because although Denise is planning on moving out, Mat Woo does not plan on going anywhere.. So I will inherit my brother when I move into the apartment. I think that is kind of creepy. At least until Denise and Matt become sexually fustrated and re-establish the ties of their relationship, and Matt moves back in with her.

My step-dad's cpu just crashed. Did you guys hear that?

I read Christopher Hitchen's snooty review of Michael Moore's Farenheit 9/11.

BORING.

I'll just go see the movie, one-side though it may be. It will be a lot more entertaining than Hitchen's overlong, character-assasinating anti-review.

We should invite him to join our blog, to get some real humor and perspective on the world. Imagine: A blurb about the Wily Beaver in the Nation magazine. I can see Katrina vanden Heuvel's puckered lips reading Mike's squirrel jokes, and as her world gains a brief moment of levity, she smiles her beautiful smile.

(Sigh)

I hear that Ben-Jammin is going to be a big brother? Mike... you are going to be double uncle. Congrats!!

OK. Check it. This is what I've been up to lately. I'm currently learning how to do squirrl calls.

"chic kchh chica, kichh - kee kee kee." That means, "I am fucking hating you."

"Keeechh eek chik chik cheeka, chick week chic." Translates into, "I can't find any fucking nuts, fuck you."

"Cheek eech chik wick." Means, "Get out of that fucking tree."

I've learned something from studying squirrls.