Those all seem like good theories Matt.

Brilliant, Joe! Bravo!
And as Joyce might also say, Tip. Baruung. Baruung.

I think Mike is on a mission from the CIA, like that guy Chuck Barris from the Gong Show. No, Mike is actually busy in his secret lab, cloning dirty socks.

I had a hankerin' fer Thai food, and I went to Tai Pan, but that ain't Thai food, dadgummit.

and has anyone seen Michael Mann or heard if he's still alive. I've not seen him around for a week.

i'm hungry right now. Any ideas for lunch?

That sounds great. I must be starving. Hey! Shouldn't you be working, JOE? That is what I'm doing right now. Working. And trying to read an essay on Marshall Mcluhan and James Joyce and the prediction of cyberculture.

Has anybody ever had to read Finnegans Wake?

I normally don't talk about food, so it is past time that I made a mention of it.

FOOD. EAT.

Eat a lot. eat a little. Just eat. Or don't.
Suck in the enzymes, amimo acids, vitamins, minerals, trace minerals, proteins, carbohydrates, bacteria, hormones, and whatever else you put inside your body. Are you even paying attention to what you are putting in your mouth?

Beef and cherries. That sounds oddly delicious. Wrap it in seaweed cultivated off the icy coast of Northern Canada, and I'll eat it.

(Now where is my T. S. Eliot? That's right, I don't have one.)

Did you all enjoy the electronic imagery and sound wave spectacle that was the State of the Union Address? Wow. How inspirational. If any of you out there are pollsters, give the Man 20 percentage points from yours truly.

Matt, that idea is so crazy . so crazy it just might work.

My proposal for the next halftime show - Uncomfortable silence. One half hour of complete media silence. Humans would have to TALK to each other, what a concept.

Bob Dobbs talks about this as a solution to the drama of cognition as played out by the Android Meme. It would have to be a collective tune-out to all electronic media. Can you imagine? It would cleanse to constant collective chatter and give us a chance to apply solutions, instead being trapped in the never-ending debate that all media perpetuates. With media, their are no solutions, only arguments.

How are you guys liking my postmodern rants? It is my new thing.

Matt, Thanks for your everlasting words of wisdom. "we are all safe EXACTLY where we are" that would look great needlepointed onto a pillow don't you think? I didn't watch the game either. I just happened to catch the halftime show.

Monica, we are all safe EXACTLY where we are, no matter where we are. Do not live in fear.

I heard that a drunken tree jumped out in front of Billy Joel's car. Bastard oak tree.

I tried watching football. I got bored. I don't have the attention span. I really want to like sports so I can stop being a girly man. I am happy for the Bucs, though. I'm told few expected them to win.

Society scares me....... Matt will you let me know when it is safe to ascend from hiding?

awwwwww . It's nice to know i'm missed. To all of those who care, I am in deep hibernation mode. I've been sick sick sick and sleeping as much as possible. I slept for three days straight and never left the house. I thought maybe i was dead. Brian is right about the hibernating. I'm almost feeling it's safe enough to resurface. just a few more days.

Greetings from inside the Matrix! I got lost amidst the Android Meme. Good to hear you are back Monica. Long time, no see/hear/taste/feel. People have been asking about you, and I've told them that you go underground every once in awhile, and resurface when it is safe. Brian says you hibernate.

So, I recommend checking out these radio programs. Counter-propaganda just died, but the links should be up until the sight suddenly dissappears one day. Hundreds of hours of excellent archives of dis-misinformation. Great researchers and communicators like Sherman Skolnick, David Icke, Alex Jones, Dr. Stan, Jeff Rense, Lenny Bloom, and Bob Dobbs. The latest I have found fascinating is this station out of Toronto that hosts a show called Cloak and Dagger - Talk radio for Spies. Most fascinating is Bob Dobbs. What a mind fuck this guy brings. He either genius or insane, probably both. Try perusing some of the related Bob material:

• About Bob


• Bob's Radio


• nowhere to run, nowhere to hide: an interview with bob dobbs


• Synchronistic Linguistics in The Matrix Or How Bob Dobbs Became the Tetrad Manager


• I first heard him on Cloak and Dagger show number 7. Highly recommeded!

I miss human contact. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the digital versions of you, my friends, but in the flesh is where true important interaction takes place. Real interaction, of the physical, emotional, psychic, intellectual. I hope to see you soon.

P.S. And Hey! I revamped the Quality Lamp Repair website to make it more informative and make it an online store! Please check it out and tell me your user experiences. What was confusing? What was missing? It still needs a Custom Orders page where step by step instructions on how to request a custom lamp shade are given (Step 1: Choose the Frame. Step 2: Choose the Fabric. Etc.)

are there any beavers out there?

BOOOO!

how bout that half time show?

Our work here is done.

I am everywhere and nowhere

I can taste colors

Stay off the acid Matt.

We are all living inside of each other. Radio, television, and the Internet have destroyed the physical boundaries between our minds.

The next time you listen to the radio, know that what you are hearing is inside you.

When you watch TV next, feel those other characters and talking heads jostling for a foothold in your brain.

As you read my words off the Internet, say hello to my presence inside your body.

Everyone lives inside everyone else these days. The world is no longer what it used to be.

the white stripes were on the local "rock station" tonight. "dead leaves on the dirty ground" the dj was doing a vote between the stipes' song and some angry aggro-metal head-fuck band. the stripes won. the dick dj said he was suprised the stripes won. me too. still, he (the dj) pissed me off, because he acted like the stripes song was shit.

anyway, hearing the stripes on a bloomington station completely rejuvunated me. i was depressed all night. i guess that's what angy aggro-metal head fuck songs does to a man.

i feel you Matt. i've never understood the difference between and stong safety and a free safety.

a quote from the White Stripes (or possibly Citizen Kane): "it's easy to make a lot of money, all you gotta do is want to make a lot of money."

They predicted the Bucs weren't going to be great for another couple of year under Gruden. Other then those goofy looking uniforms, they're looking pretty good now.

Go football team! (I never watched football. I don't understand it - too complicated.)

Brian and I are having a raging e-mail debate at the moment. Maybe I'll post it, cause it is great stuff. I'll have to get his permission first.

Matt marched for Stalin. Way to go dumbass. Now you're never going to get a real job.

There's been a lot of editorials linking the anti-war, anti-WTO protesters to Stalinism, and the Communist Party. I would agree that there is a Communist threat out there, but I don't believe it manifested itslef at the DC or Seattle protests. Matt, did you ever cash in a check by the Communist Workers World Party for protesting? Who paid for the gas to get you out to DC? Who bought your bottled water while you were out there?

How much money does it take to sponsor a voluntary march, and who really cares where it came from?

I don't hate anybody. I am full of love and light.

Until Brian called me a pinko. He wrote:


-----Original Message-----
From: bwanless
To: mkoma01s@uis.edu
Sent: 1/23/03 10:16 AM
Subject: you pinko

"The marches in Washington and San Francisco were chiefly sponsored, as was last October’s antiwar march in Washington, by a group the Times chose to call in its only passing reference "the activist group International Answer." International A.N.S.W.E.R. (Act Now to Stop War and End Racism) is a front group for the communist Workers World Party. The Workers World Party is, literally, a Stalinist organization."

Don't get suckered by the Left or the Right, I say. They have both been infiltrated by the CIA. "Liberal" news outlets like The Nation and NPR are thoroughly censored to keep out any information regarding critisicm on corporate power and Big oil. The Right owns FOX news and the majority of Talk radio.

There is no Liberal bias in the media either; Not since Nixon was President. The media is tightly controlled. The Telecommunications Act of 1996, signed by Bill Clinton, has helped to consolidate media power into fewer hands. "Diversity" of programming is bullshit. Whether you watch CNN or Fox news, you still won't get the full truth.
On Media Giantism
Ultra Concentrated Media

These petty squabbles are meant to keep the American people divided and fighting amongst themselves while the thieves quietly steal our freedoms, money, and dignity.

George Bush is a globalist traitor, and so is Bill Clinton. I refuse to play the game of "My side is right, yours is wrong." They are all in on it.

You wanna know what really pisses me off? It is people who say they hate stupid people. It's kind of like saying, "I hate likeable people." Well no it's nothing like that, but I think you get the point.

And then you got those people who hate arrogant people. And the people that don't like stupid people again. Who are all these people and why are they so full of hatred.

I think it's our President. What would Ari say if a reporter asked if the President hated stupid people.

Personally I enjoy the company of stupid people. I consider myself pretty stupid sometimes, and just being around other stupid people makes me splendidly happy.

I just finished surfing through a few of the hundreds of thousands of blogs that are out there. What a bunch of pompous windbags! One blogger at The Daily Pundit states that he came up with the term "Blogosphere." WHO CARES!

(Oh no. Now I am officially a blogger if I have sunk so low as to complain about other bloggers. I shall mark this sad day on my calendar.)


Oh, and apparently it is cool to have a Paypal donations button to give worthless losers who rant in cyberspace money.

[I'll split the money with all my fellow wily beavers.]

are you ready for the suburu? the house? the family? Those are the things we need to find out.

Mike, Your pancreas is very opinionated.

Has anyone else had a dream that they got a postcard from one of their internal organs?

Well, I just got one in real life - from my pancreas. How wierd is that?

2003 is the year of the sell-out. I just found out that i could double my salary tommorow by becoming an Olive Garden manager - 40 k a year starting out. All because I have a degree.

I need help beavers. 40,000 - That's a house, a family, and a suburu.

Darden is not the eviliest of corporate entities - right?

And Working for the Olive Garden - Joe N, and Joe L,, I need your help here, Can I still run for Congress when I get older? Will the voters respect a former Of mgr? (My answer: a defiitive NO!)

Post your favorite links, Joe, and I'll put 'em up. Elite democracy at it's finest.

I love this nasa photo gallery. They make great wallpaper. I set a new one several times a week.

2003 is Year of the Goat (black sheep). It begins on Feb. 1.


Seriously.

Just noticed that 3 of my four most recent posts includes variants on nest feathering. Maybe I am in some sort of mind meld with your mom, Matt. Is this the year of the Crow or something?

I'd say a good deal more than three years in toto, though Ryan hopped the bandwagon relatively late in the game. The Northwestern J-School helped to start this movement (and probably merits the prize more than any pol) which now even includes a downstate "Innocence Project" at our very own UIS (albeit one which does not deal with capital crimes). I agree that Ryan did a good thing, but the Nobel Prize? That would be like giving it to Nixon or someone of that ilk, although Ryan is a good deal more petty than ol' Tricky Dick. It is a rare thing when a lame duck does anything but feather his cronies' nests. Ironic that, during this generous gesture, George was busy setting up his friends with lucrative state appointments which Blago is now attempting to terminate. Social justice and politics as usual make strange bedfellows.

Here here. The public has a misconception that Ryan did this as he was walking out the door of office. He DID, but there were three years of research and a "distinguished" panel that looked into this issue. Oh, and if Bill O'Reilly hates Ryan's decision then I know that I like it. I don't care about his motives -- If he is a megalomaniac or if he is a sadist. He did a good thing.

Ryan gets the Democrat of the year award. And Blago gets my Republican of the year award for the symbolic cleaning house of state government. Congratulations guys, for continuing to make the distinction between political parties meaningless. Keep up the good work!

According the my astrological chart, 2003 is a year of change, and so far it is living up to the hype.

There's been a lot of shit talking lately about the Noble Prize, particularly with Arafat winning and then Jimmy Carter. Now the "Give Death a Chance" posse is attacking Ryan, questioning his motives and the way he went about granting blanket clemency.

Personally I'm inspired. He researched the death penalty, and realized his pro-capital punisment position was wrong. How cool is that? - a politician admitting he was wrong, and actually doing something about it (and it was a Republican.)

Congratulations on falling out of your chair on the air.

Hefner is pretty great. Hymns to cigarettes and alcohol! Not to mention the postal service. Best album is The Fidelity Wars.
BTW, Laura and I were on the radio with Sara on Friday. I got to do a station announcement and promptly fell out of the chair on air.

I believe that Ryan is turning traditional political mores on their head with his move. His hatred of Chicago Dems goes back to Daley's obstructionist tactics. He also is no longer enamored with the Republican party, feeling (correctly, I think) that the Repubs sold him out when the bribery scandal hit. It's not as if there hasn't been a history of corrupt campaigns in Illinois. Ryan had to pay the piper for the sins of those before him, and his loyal hack-soldiering left him out to dry. Ryan can get back at suburban republicans, the corrupt Chicago machine and whinging downstaters (embodied by Jim Ryan's disloyalty) in one fell swoop, along the way garnering a nomination for the Nobel prize and a probable academic appointment with which to further feather his nest.

That has to be difficult. I feel for 'em.

I wanted to recommend two bands: Interpol and OK Go.
Interpol sounds like Joy Division, except not as morbid, and OK Go is a clever poppy rock outfit from Chicago. I think all beavers will like these bands.

Here are the lyrics to the Interpol song, NYC, which is my current favorite:


I had seven faces thought i knew which one to wear
I'm sick of spending these lonely nights training myself not to care
the subway is a porno pavements they are a mess
i know you've supported me for a long time
somehow i'm not impressed

New York Cares (got to be some more change in my life)
New York Cares (got to be some more change in my life)
New York Cares (got to be some more change in my life)
New York Cares (got to be some more change in my life)

subway she is a porno and the pavements they are a mess
i know you've supported me for a long time
somehow i'm not impressed

It's up to me now turn on the bright lights
It's up to me now turn on the bright lights

New York Cares (got to be some more change in my life)
New York Cares (got to be some more change in my life)
New York Cares (got to be some more change in my life)
New York Cares (got to be some more change in my life)

It's up to me now turn on the bright lights
(got to be some more change in my life)
oh, It's up to me now turn on the bright lights
(got to be some more change in my life)

* From the album, Turn on the Bright Lights

Check out the song, Get Over It, by OK Go.


Military guys that I have met have always been way sharper than I gave them credit for. Leon Deltoro was the first guy I had heard to ever question the Standard Operating Procedure of scrambling fighter jets during a hijacking that was NOT done on September 11, 2001. (Leon lived in D.C. at the time.)
He was also blunt about military service: Most are in it for scholarships and to get paid, to die if necessary, and they are very aware of that.

Leave it to Mike to come up with the hard edgy news that other papers shy away from. Mike asks the qeustions that other journalists don't ask. Every article I read on the commutation of death sentences by Ryan has asked the question, "What were Ryan's motives?" But Mike Mann boldly answers that question by saying "ryan's blanket clemeney is a direct attack against chicago, and it's political machine and police force." Brilliant. Insightful. I agree.
But why do you think Ryan has a vendetta against Chicago?

And I have to mention Rod "The Bod" on the cover of the SJ-R yesterday jogging in front of the Old state Capitol. It's time for a change! It's time for a sexy Governor.

My cousin's Marine unit got called up and they depart for california this a.m. and then off to the middle east tomorrow. He's handling it okay but his fiancee is freaking out. She doesn't like GDub right now.

does anyone else agree with me that ryan's blanket clemeney is a direct attack against chicago, and it's political machine and police force?

i told my born again friend at work that my bumper sticker that says "NO!" is an anti-war sticker, and after a couple of ane coulter huff and puffs he asked me what i would think we should do if we found out a country gave money to a terrorist organization that attacked the united states.

this guy is getting on my nerves.

i told him as a christian myself, we should reach out our collective hands and hug.

he dutifully informed me that if i found myself in an arab country they would not hesitate to chainsaw my head off. Then he called me a pacifist, and did a little hippie dance to mock me.

Later on that night i talked to a thick-neck consevative, ex-military type, and he told me that he thought G dub is going to go down as the absolute worst president this country has ever had.

i think it's great that the military guys are finally getting smarter then the fundametalist chirstian war-mongers.

is it too late to vote for King George?

in the old ages he would have been be-headed.

Welcome to Springfield Governor Blago.

This is a great video by the Faint called 'Agenda Suicide'. It reminds me of a combination of a Radiohead video and the Sims video game. You would think these guys are from Manchester in the 80's, but they are actually from Omaha, Nebraska (with the likes of Bright Eyes and Cursive) of the 00's. Their sound is much poppier than this video suggests. It happens to be a dark video (which is why I like it), and I'm told most of their songs are about sex and death. But i listened to a cd a friend gave me over the summer and all the Faint songs are sugary and sweet.

On another Bright Eyes note, Sarah from the Acryllic Afternoon Friday radio show on WQNA loves to play Bright Eyes. Every freakin' week I tune in I hear it. She has a sense of humor though. Afterwords she'll give out the Suicide Hotline number.

I'm gonna miss George Ryan. He makes being a governor look fun and rewarding. Blogojevich looks entertaining enough. They should make a reality TV show out of the IL governorship. We need a hook to beat Joe Millionaire. Any ideas?

soundtrack to seattle and the dc protests, and a rally cry for anarachists : Matt you gotta check out Against Me! It's a 2-piece angry punk package that delivers marxist musings and punchy one-liners. they're fun to listen to in your car, because they make you want to drive fast and reckless.

Did I create a new way to spell fabulous? I don't remember that. I'll be collecting interest on that 12 cents until the payment is in my hands.

"Everybody's beavin, everybody's groovin yeah." Isn't that a B-52's song lyric? It think it is from "Love shack."

Mike, thanks for downloading those two bands Mclusky and The Street and turning me on to them. They both are rockin' my car stereo now that I have my new CD burner installed. I'm downloading English punk bands only. If it's not from "Mad"chester, I'm not listening. The sad part is, I can't find a single James song besides "Laid (acoustic)". I really want to hear their last live album.

You have to hear Hefner - the hymn for the cigarettes.

Beavin now that's a good word too. Matt can you break that one down for us?

Thank you matt

Ok, I called M-W and had them correct the usage.

I can't think of any nice things I have done for Mike, so topping them shouldn't be difficult.

Matt, i'm glad you like my made up word. I don't agree with Mirriam-Webster that it's use is verbal. I used it as an adjective to describe the type of day you should have. Merriam and I should have a chat.

I like the word beavery.

From Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary:
Main Entry: 1bea·ver·y
Pronunciation: 'bE-v&r-E
Function: adjective
Inflected Form(s): beaverliciously
Etymology: Middle English bever, from Old English beofor; akin to Old High German bibar beaver, and probably to Old English brun brown -- more at BROWN
Date: after 21st century, when Monica Maher made it up
1 a : to be friendly and affable like the North American brown beaver b : to engage excitedly in any activity
2 a : a hat made of beaver fur or a fabric imitation b : SILK HAT
3 usually vulgar : the pudenda of a woman

what's gotten into ME? well let's see: i just woke up in a really good refreshed mood this morning. . Mike I have done all kinds of nice things for you in the past. I am not really sure how to top them...... But i will come up with something! Have a pleasant beavery evening.

There's this older guy at work who's a born again Christian, and I've been trying to convince him that he "dilikes" some people. He says he loves everybody, even Jose who tells his to "shut the fuck up" all the time. He's content to call Jose a jack-off, but still insists that he loves him.

He was talking to Kenny last night about how there's no difference between two men sleeping together and an unwed man and a women sleeping together, because they are both sins in God's eye. I was walking by and I said, "That's why I don't fuck."

He get really upset when I use the Lord's name in vain, but let's it slide why I say, "son of a whore-mongering slut."

He's an interesting man, but he's not very bright. He once got syphlis from a whore in Korea.

I wished him a thanksgiving, and he told me he was thankful that he lived in the only country where we are free to practice our own religion.

I wished him a Merry Christmas, and he said we should all be thankful because we are part of the privilaged one percent of the world that lives in comfort and happiness.

He's kind of like my father figure at work.

Let's move on. Another story about work. I was talking to my friend Eladio the other day and I was complimenting his belt, telling him how much I really liked it. It had metal studs of stars and diamonds on it, and it looked really keen. His Mom sent it to him from Guatamala. Anyway, he took off the belt and told me I could have it. Now that I think about it, that's probably the nicest thing he has done for me. I would like all the beavers to think back at all the nice things they have done for me in the past, and then figure out what they could do to top all the nice things.

Lately I've become obsessed with Justin Timberlake and Jennifer Lopez. I hope they get married.

I bought some of those "reveal" true-light light bulbs and I put it in my bathroom. Late at night I like to turn off all of my lights execept for the one bathroom, and then crawl into bed and pretend the sun is rising in my bathroom. It's very surreal.

I think Monica found Scientology. It will change your outlook on life.

What's got into her?

Anyway, I've been watching the Berenstein Bears cartoon all morning. I forgot what a complete idiot and drunk Papa Bear was.

Good morning Beavers! Today is a new day, Make something good of it!
And for all of us Beavers who have to work today, Have a good day at work, I know I will.

joan of arc is going on tour, who's whith me?

I'm having a jim muir moment: emo was a horrible rediculous phase that 90's culture should be ashamed of. i mean - criss, talk about a movement that meant nothing, said nothing, and inspired a complete vast of nothingness bands. i know i'm not the first person to say this, but I'd like to think i'm the first person to say it with such frank inarticulesness. did emo do any good for anybody?

Finally, a game about emo. Speaking of emo, Steve's new emo, I mean e-mail address is lostpaperplanereunion@hotmail.com. That is so emo.

shhhhh ! Better be quiet, I think all of the Beavers are SLEEPING.

Don't be alarmed if after a bout of drinking one night you wake up from being drugged, strapped to a chair as I am walking up to you with a pair of lineman's pliers in my hands.

HA HA HA HA HA

Teeth are expensive. One of my back teeth is worth $20,000. It's true.

The tooth ache is no more. $300 dollars later I have a good tooth.

Go Monica. Congratulations on going smoke-free for six days. And seriously, I know toothaches hurt. Just thinking about it...*ow*

Which way to get out of Hell? Follow Bob Hope and Bing Crosby.

It's good to see that Joe's alive.
Matt, go ahead and make fun... a toothache is painful business. I don't even like the codeine. And by the way the road to hell is
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->>>THIS WAY! Exit on your left and watch your step.
Congratulations to ME for not smoking since December 31. Today is day 6. Let's see if I can keep it up.

A bitch hurts a lot less than a toothache. Ouch! I wish I had access to codiene when I have a toothache. Should we start calling you Winona? When she was arrested, they found a pharmacy of painkillers in her handbag. Damn you, Winona, get off the junk! The road to hell is that way.

drugs <---------- Road to Hell --------

Christianity is a sun religion, so interchange Sun and Son, since they refer to the same thing.

"For instance, many of the world's crucified godmen have their traditional birthday on December 25th ("Christmas"). This is because the ancients recognized that (from an earthcentric perspective) the sun makes an annual descent southward until December 21st or 22nd, the winter solstice, when it stops moving southerly for three days and then starts to move northward again. During this time, the ancients declared that "God's sun" had "died" for three days and was "born again" on December 25th."
- The Origins of Christianity and the Quest for the Historical Jesus Christ
by Acharya S

oh yeah Matt her name is Jessica Shoup (with a p)
the red head is Jessica Shoup.

Matt, I'm confused is that "son" or "sun"? HELP I'm so confused. I have spent the last 4 days and nights drugged up on codeine. my tooth had begun to ache a week ago on friday and my dentist was closed til Thursday. I had to wait 6 days before having it looked at. Has anyone ever had a toothache? It hurts like a bitch. So my dentist concluded that I need to have a root canal which can't take place until tuesday. I have to be on antibiotics for 5 days before and so the pain continues. With help from the codeine i am able to control the pain for minimal amounts of time. Can somebody go ahead and make today tuesday so i can be put out of my misery?

Sunday truly is the Lord's day. By the Lord I mean the Sun. Today we worship the Son. The son of God. Which is the Sun. Jesus is a Sun God myth. He never existed. There were dozens of pre-Christian myths about a man born of a virgin birth, who called himself the Light of the World, who performed miracles, was crusified and was resurrected. That is not a new story. Mithra, Horus, Odin, Baal, Prometheus, Krishna, Apollo and other figures all share commonalities with the Christ figure. Christianity is a prison religion, as are Islam, Judaism, Buddhism, Hinduism, and all the rest.

Y Tu Mama Tambien

That is the title of one of the best movies of the year according to Ebert and Roeper. I can't get the title out of my head, mostly because it took me so long to figure out how to pronounce it.
The Y sounds like like an E. Once I understood that, then the rest fell into place. I took me four days.

In my dream this morning, I was sitting on Eric Fliege's bed with him and his dad. There was a baby swimming pool on top of the bed and Fred was sitting with his back against the wall to my right. I was thirsty, so I took my hat, which looks like that hat Hunter S. Thompson always wore, and I immersed it into the water upside down. Water filled up to the brim. I drank it all.

I wanted some more, so I dunked my hat in again for a refill, and as I was pulling it out, I noticed that two hairs from my head had fallen into the water in the hat. No big deal, hair gets everywhere when it is long. The hairs were floating together, one lying across the other.

I not sure of the order of what happens next, and it probably doesn't matter. Two things happen. Fred asks Eric a question inquiring as to why I was drinking. I don't know if he thought it was weird that I was drinking swimming pool water, or that I was drinking out of a hat, or that I was drinking so much, or what. It was a harmless question.
I then felt fatigued. I couldn't hold up the hat to my lips or even hold my body up, and I fell over, legs flailing. I ended up landing on Fred, and then falling onto the floor of Eric's room.

After that I woke up.

You see, I got really drunk last night, and had a lot of fun. Eric and I talked to a couple of girls, and the redhead said Eric was cute. He proceeded to go to the bathroom for 15 minutes after that. I was having a good time anyway. I enjoy Melissa's company. Melissa Clarke and Jessica Shroub (or something like that). They both went to Southeast. Jessica is in our class of '94. Melissa is going to Vietnam in a couple of weeks, Jessica wants to join the Peace Corps, which is funny because Steve Odom HAS joined the Peace Corps, and is shipping out to South America to Bolivia at the end of this month.

But anyway I was really drunk. By the end we made it to the Hilton, lower level (lover level?). I remember staring at this girls lips while she was talking to Laura and imagining myself kissing them. They were right there, only a few inches away. When it was time to go home, as I was saying goodbye, I asked Gary, the professor of Psychology at Lincoln Land if I could have a hug. I don't even like Gary that much, I guess I just needed a hug.

My point is, that when I was dreaming, my body knew I was Goddamn thirsty from being dehydrated, and incorporated that into the dream. The falling down part could have something to do with the fact that i was tired, half-in and half-out of deep sleep.

Now I am drinking this Satanic combination of prune juice, orange juice, and water for breakfast. It is actually pretty good.

Mike, Joe wants to hang out with you the next time you are in town. He says he likes the blog. Maybe Joe or Laura will post something soon.

Happy dreams everybody.

a joke:

a guy calls up his wife from the office and the maid answers the phone. he asks the maid to put his wife on the phone, and the maid says she is upstairs having sex with her boyfriend. the man becomes enraged and tells the maid there is a shotgun in the hall closet, and he orders the maid to kill them both. the maid leaves and shoots them both dead.

the maid gets back on the phone and asks what does he want her to do now. he tells her to throw thier bodies in the back yard pool. she asks, "what pool?"

so he says, "Is this 658-9089."

ha ha ha

Hello 2003. It feels right. Fuck you 2002 and all the fear you brought. President Bush and the people who control him had me (erroneously) scared for my life. Lying Bastards with their made up fucking threats. AArrgh!

Matt,
Your neck is funny. Happy New Year to all. :-)

I have finished making my flash movie. I am really proud of it. It took me several days to learn Flash and then to create my masterpiece. You will need to download a Flash player plug-in from Macromedia into your browser if you have not done so already. Enjoy!

My Neck

Personally, I've always been against sex, Umm I mean cloning because it perverts the sanctity of sex. but so does anal, so I'm gonna let this cloning thing slide.

Has anyone seen the Two Towers? Are any of you sci-fi or fantasy geeks? Even so, you might enjoy THE TWO TOWERS WAITING-IN-LINE JOURNAL
.

Gangs of New York is a kick ass movie. Leo is so hot. I want a Leonardo DiCaprio clone so I can pretend I am part of his entourage, and also to have sex with him.

Matt Drudge is a homo! (Not that there is anything is wrong with that)

Now that is some fine reporting. My favorite story this year came out just at the finish line. Yes, the "Space aliens cloned my baby!" story. The Vatican, 16 million southern baptists, the White house, and the SJ-R are all highly pissed off that some "rogue" scientists cloned a human baby. What makes this story so sweet is the people who did the cloning. Clonaid, the company responsible for the birth of the possible first cloned baby, has ties to a sect calling themselves Raelians, who believe that extra-terrestrials genetically created human beings. Sex, death and birth are tied into this story, and cleary, the Church is jeolous.

If there is one thing a religious zealot cannot stand, it is another religious zealot.

In an SJ-R article, there was a comment from a Saudi cleric who implied that cloning can be used to create sex slaves. He says that would be "sinful, sinful, sinful." First of all, why do religious types think of sex first, and why do we care what a Saudi cleric thinks?

Cults, aliens, cloned babies, the Church, and plenty of demogoguery to go around. I am a happy man.

Sect and the situation comedy: Rael tells the gang he has cloned a baby

Human cloning claim - for Rael?
'First Dolly, then Eve. Now my aim is to use cloning to change humankind'

The Raelian Revolution

they got some crazy little women

one day i'm gonna get me one

i might take a plane

i might take a train

if i gotta walk . .. it's all the same

12 st and 9, drinking Kansas City wine

KC here I come

adios beavers i'm moving to the city of kansas city

YEAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Well Joe Welcome back. I hope you had a good christmas and that Mike didn't cause your blood pressure to go up. That MRS N5 is a funny lady!!!!

"Mr. Plow, that's my name. That name again is Mr. Plow"

How about saying to her "Nice shoes, wanna fuck?"

Walk up to a girl and start giggling at her. When she asks you what the hell's going on, say: "Aw shucks ... you just tickled my heart."

When I said I wanted to go to Kansas City, I meant I wanted to go 50 years ago when bow ties were all the rage.
I'd like to see the next grand theft auto adventure take place in KC. Maybe one of your missions would be to kill the campaigning presidential hopeful Strom Thurmond, circa 1950.

I talked to Joe Natale today about his absence from the beav, and he said he's been really irritable lately due to his high blood pressure. Mom and I suggested he take more bubble baths.

Matt........... That one is great. I would laugh. 8-)
I miss Joe Natale. Are we too boring for him?

I have a pick up line, it goes like this: "Ahem, Is that a sweater you're wearing, or are you just a pretty lady?"

Foxy!

Kansas City is over rated. I've been there........ the drive wasn't worth it. Anyhow, Mike I like it when guys leer at me. Sure--what girl doesn't. I like for the guy to use ridiculous pick up lines that make me laugh. If you can make me laugh, you're in!

Michael, crazy idea, but why don't you just ask them out for a end of semester celebration?

I've been to Kansas City before. It's alright, nothing special. Wish I would have run into these individuals with the bow ties though. Sounds fun.

Here is my the last e-mail that my teacher sent to me. Interesting indeed!

Michael,

Oh... I forgot to tell you before class ended (being so caught up in the moment and all!!!) how much I liked your work on the magazine project. I could help but notice your absolute wonderful sense of patterns and dialogue. The color scheme was - as they say in france - "lightsabre cocksucker blues." Your use of font was dreadful however. You need to develop a sense of continuance and uniformity.

Oh my the time .. Hope to see you then. *isssy kiss. Goodbye sweet.

KH

actually that's the e-mail I wish my teacher would send me. I've had a crush on my last three teachers. I tried "learing" at them, and undressing them with my eyes in class, but nothing's seems to work.

So Monica, what do you like from guys? When they "lear" at you, or when they undress you with their eyes.

I'd like to go to Kansas City someday. I heard my baby is there. I imagine there are many guys with bow ties living there. Kansas City sounds like my kind of city.

the doves are very manchester, which is why they should be dispised with every thing you got. The drugs have been ruining the English for a longtime, and it looks like they've now completely rotted out any thing good in Manchester.

I wanna see Bowling for Columbine also.
Have you heard the Doves? They are so Manchester.

I am working with this teacher, whom with I communicate through e-mail, and I can't understand anything he says most of the time. Here is a sample:

Matt,

I believe that you know of no impediments from the aspect of Blackboard, then I can take care of it with the library staff. We shall have to place a note in the syllabus telling the students to go to the library online in order to access the material.

See you in early January. Have a happy holiday,
Bob C


What? I know of no impediments. Do you hear that folks? Impediments are that which I do not know (Concerning Blackboard). There are no impediments of which I know, that I know of, or at least that he believes that I don't know. Maybe I do know...of impediments, but he doesn't know I know.

I can't wait to meet this guy. And this is just after I learned that another Professor is not mentally right and is frequently quite drunk. Though he is quite a good professor, I hear.

any of you who have not yet seen JACKASS need to proceed immediately to the Esquire Theater and see it NOW. It was HI-larious!

Where is everybody going to Church Tuesday night? I'm thinking of hitting several denominations, begining and ending with a Catholic service. A marothon worship, to cleanse my sins from the year.

thanks for the lullaby matt. It put me right to sleep.