I'm gonna buy me some new soccer shoes, cause I scored the winning goal today. 6 - 5

Yeeeeeeeeah!

"BURBANK — A woman convicted of animal cruelty for keeping more than 230 Chihuahuas in her home has been sentenced to five years probation and ordered to undergo counseling, authorities said."
http://www.chihuahuarescue.com/aodr/angelskimipeck.html

"Anybody who can only think of a Chihuahua as a sweet little dog has obviously never worked in a vet clinic. One of the breeds we have to muzzle the most is the Chihuahua. Although their small it doesn't mean they can't bite.

Dogs are pack animals anytime you get two, three or more together they can easily regress into being a pack animal and usually this means hunting. Where I grew up three of our neighbors had dogs they rarely kept contained. Individually the dogs were sweet but when two or all three got together they hunted everything in the neighborhood. Including my cat once. Those two neighbors had to split the $1300 vet bill for putting my cat back together again."
http://www.talkpets.com/forums/showpost.php?p=20365&postcount=11

Whiskey and I are planning on moving in together anyway. Besides, I really do still act 17, no matter what my real age is.

I liked Flight of the Navigator. Remember when they were flying over the ocean, and then they flew underwater? That was cool. VROOOOOMMMMM!

So, if I lived with my father, that would be ok. I wouldn't be such a Mommaz Boy then.

Well, my dad is dead.

And my remaining parent helped me get through college with a Master's degree.

So thank you mother, very much, for cooking and doing my laundry, and letting me pay the 750 dollar rent every other month because you are horrible with finances.

Pop Culture
I'm proud to say that I OWN that movie on vhs. You can borrow it if you play nice.

I'm not a mama'a boy you monkey.

"When you started to describe how Daniel's breathing grew ragged, how his ball sack got all tight and wrinkly, I was really confused. You said his nuts were churning. Nuts don't churn. They just hang there until you come. What did you say that for?"

Thanks for that erotic story Matt. It turned me on. Sorry I couldn't make it to Sanwich like I said I would. I blame Kim.

"So after Jack started long-dicking Daniel then you said Daniel was panting. Then Jack reached a hand around Daniel and took the panting man's cock into his own hand. I don’t think Jack would do that! Daniel would surely slap his hand away."

http://www.pepesplace.co.uk/FBYourSlashWriting.htm

When I was playing Diablo II online, my barbarian's name was Groknagar.

My friends called me Grok for short.

Tom Cruise freaking out and attacking Oprah Winfrey.

http://www.tvgasm.com/archives/miscellaneous_tv/000824.php



.

Matt Woo just got 323.6. Eat shit Pop Culture.

.

Doesn't Eric look like the illegitimate son of Abbie Hoffman?

"You come around looking 1984/ You're such a bore, 1984/ Nostalgia, you're using it like a whore/ It's better than before."

Is Sleater Kinney trying to start a fight with The Killers?

Selected Images From Rodney Smith: Surreal

Play Penguin Baseball

Congratulations on marrying your sister, Mr. Jones.

Now that you are married, you can fix up a room in your house up like Gibby's Game Room.

.

The one night this week I get to go to bed early, and the fucking THUNDERSTORMS and LIGHTNING keep me up all night.

I seriously thought the lightning was going to burst through my window after it set off the alarm at Brahler's. I thought the lightning was going to steal my car after it shut off the power to our house.

And I imagined the poor chi and my nephews quivering in the dark. Khalil is scared of thunderstorms, like his mother (and probably his father too - what a bunch of babies).

.

Paris and Tinkerbell

And know this: PubSub monitors blog activity as well, as it tracks 5 million active blogs as they post at a rate of 1,165 new items per minute (average).

Who's watching the bloggers?

technorati.com, that's who.

In certain industries like the media, watching what the bloggers are blogging is critical. Look at CNN as they read from blogs on the air.

Go to technorati.com, and type in "Wily Beaver" into the search bar at the top. You will find Wish I'd been a child actor's post saying "Scott Weiland is FOXY!!!" among others.

Welcome to the blogosphere. If CNN asked you for an interview, skinny, please decline to comment.

I can't get over this Michael Isicoff and Muslim Bible story.

I just don't see why someone told Michael Isicoff they were flushing Korans down the toilet if they really weren't.

2 Possibilities: they really were sticking Korans in the toilet, or someone was feeding Newsweek false information in an attempt to discredit them.

And how do you flush a book down the toilet anyway. Pop Culture suggested that they were the mini Korans like the bibles you get at the laundry mat.

Andrew Sullivan, a anti-Bush conservative blogger, put it like this:

A simple question: after U.S. interrogators have tortured over two dozen detainees to death, after they have wrapped one in an Israeli flag, after they have smeared naked detainees with fake menstrual blood, after they have told one detainee to "Fuck Allah," after they have ordered detainees to pray to Allah in order to kick them from behind in the head, is it completely beyond credibility that they would also have desecrated the Koran?

... the outrage from the White House is beyond belief. It seems to me particularly worrying if this incident further intimidates the press from seeking the truth about what the government is doing in the war on terror.

I know it's not funny to use crude language just for the hell of it, but if I worked for newsweek I'd tell the Pentagon to suck my dick.

I'd write a big piece about how they could do it too.

Next time you put a peta link up I'm going to put some execution links up.

I can't watch that stuff. I'm literally sick to my stomach.

Guess who loves PETA? Pam Anderson, J-Lo, and Me!

Pam Anderson Releases Explicit New Video Watch now.

http://www.petatv.com/

Next time try putting some chayanne pepper on his back when he's not looking. I heard it hurts like hell when they start sweating.

I've hit that dude a couple of times. It doesn't work. Just call him a fag. That usually works with guys. Can we say "fag?"

I don't know if you guys are into this war or not, but we've really been kicking terrorist ass these last 48 hours.

Serious terrorist ass.

They in turn have been blowing the hell out of a bunch of civilians. But you'll have that I suppose.

Any of you guys seen the big game of "freak the fuck out" they played at the Capital this morning?

.

What Pop Culture looks like when he gets his whiskey, or the Illigitimate child of Bill O' Reilly?

The reason you find an army of right-wingers ratcheting on the radio and so few liberals is simple: Republicans are in need of affirmation, they don't feel comfortable in America and they crave listening to people who think like them. Liberals actually enjoy living in a free society; tuning in to hear an echo is not our idea of a good time. - Garrison Keillor

I thought you liberals might like that. Personally I prefer the echo of Fox News. 24/7

.

Saudi Princess

This is what Pop Culture looks like when he wakes up without his whiskey. Make not of the girl to the right of him.

These are the twenty most powerful jedi, ranked 1 - 20. Enjoy.

1. Luke Skywalker
2. Yoda (bisexual jedi)
3. Aenon Jurtis (Ancient Jedi Master)
4. Obi-Wan Kenobi
5. Kaja Sinis (The Very First Jedi and Founder of the Jedi Order)
6. Mace Windu (Very first Negroid jedi)
7. Ben Skywalker (Son of Luke Skywalker and Mara Jade)
8. Plo Koon (first Jew jedi)
9. Anakin Skywalker
10. Ce Ce Denowai (Most Powerful Female Jedi of All Time)
11. Kyle Katarn
12. Ki Adi Mundi
13. Princess Leia Organa Solo (loosest jedi)
14. Mara Jade Skywalker
15. Kit Fisto (first Queer jedi)
16. Qui-Gon Jinn
17. Shintor Beerus (Ancient Jedi Master)
18. Yendar Platis (Ancient six-armed Jedi Master)
19. Bontu Sitmus (Whill Jedi Master Who Taught Yoda)
20. Anakin Solo (Son of Han Solo and Princess Leia)

I thought you nerds might like that.

Fox News just aired the audio of a gun shot suicide on a 911 call. They led up to that story by talking about Tino Martinez's string of five days hitting a homerun.

What the fuckkk is Fox News' obsession with the Yankees?

In other news: that "gernade" thrown at GW was actually just a pine comb that fell from a tree.

The tree still missed.

Here's a little morality tale about the date rape drug, ghb.

My friend from college (Kevin) started hanging out with this sexy sophomore girl who slept with a lot of guys. I think it was around 57. Or 67. To the guys she didn't give it to she would shower naked with them, but wouldn't let them touch her vagina or boobs. I never got to shower naked with her.

This girl used to take gbh with her ex-boyfriend before she started to see Kevin. They would do it for fun at night, then wake up the next morning having no idea what happened the night before.

One night while Kevin was over at her place, the girl's ex came over and was real pissed off. He started screaming "whore" from outside her apartment window and banging on her door.

This was one of the nights when Kevin that he had a good chance at being Mr 58, but because of the interuption nothing happened.

Kevin eventually left her apartment building and found that her ex had carved into her door, "Kevin, she had herpes." Which was a nice bit of information to have, and it was true - along with many other diseases which would have taken too long carve on someone's door while on ghb.

Which is the point of my story here. The girl's ex never remembered carving anything on her door, or screaming at her window. He was too fucked up on the date rape drug to remember any of that. The point is . . . ghb saved my friend from getting herpes.

Quick Quiz. Who does this quote belong to?

"I summon my blue-eyed slaves anytime it pleases me. I command the Americans to send me their bravest soldiers to die for me. Anytime I clap my hands a stupid genie called the American ambassador appears to do my bidding. When the Americans die in my service their bodies are frozen in metal boxes by the US Embassy and American airplanes carry them away, as if they never existed. Truly, America is my favorite slave."

Thanks Matt.

One of my life passions is bashing Scientology, so I customized my Google News page to send me related news items on the subject. Mostly, the news centers around Hollywood one of its biggest stars, Tom Cruise.

‘Spiegel’ Grills Cruise About Scientology, Reporter Lives

As part of our new all-Cruise format, we present this interview with Steven Spielberg and Tom Cruise to promote War of the Worlds in German magazine Spiegel, which took a startling turn away from the typical canned, junket-flavored fare when the reporter started asking surprisingly pointed questions about Cruise’s involvement in the Church of L.Ron:

SPIEGEL: Do you see it as your job to recruit new followers for Scientology?

Cruise: I’m a helper. For instance, I myself have helped hundreds of people get off drugs. In Scientology, we have the only successful drug rehabilitation program in the world. It’s called Narconon. (Chubby's comments: "'the only successful drug rehabilitation program in the world'? What a megalomaniacal, misinformed dunderhead!")

SPIEGEL: That’s not correct. Yours is never mentioned among the recognized detox programs. Independent experts warn against it because it is rooted in pseudo science.

Cruise: You don’t understand what I am saying. It’s a statistically proven fact that there is only one successful drug rehabilitation program in the world. Period.
(Chubby's comments: "Again, what a dick.")

SPIEGEL: With all due respect, we doubt that...

In the Pat Kingsley Era of Tom Cruise image control, the interview would’ve ended right there, with a gunshot and an assistant cleaning the transgressing reporter’s brains off a promotional one-sheet on the wall behind him, followed by the immediate shutdown of the entire German press. But in Cruise’s brave new world of Scientology glasnost, the talk continued, and the journalist lived—as far as we know.

Make sure you read the interview. The part where Spielberg tries to protect his star by comparing Cruise’s passion for Scientology to his own work for Holocaust awareness (and then is forced to back off the comparison when the reporter calls bullshit) is priceless.

* Actor Tom Cruise Opens Up about his Beliefs in the Church of Scientology [Spiegel Online English Site]

* Scientology Kills

I look excruciatingly good today.

I look intensely good today.

I think it's the syphllis.

Packing Heat put up a Hammock in his back yard. It's bitchin. Toltally bitchin.

The new Oasis is about as good a case of syphilis.

Nice story Matt B. Next I think you should chronicle some of the past relationships you've had with half-sisters, female cousins. I'd buy that book.

No, I'm not patronizing you. It's just that you didn't used to blog much, but when you do, your'e writing is superb. Your like our own little David Sedaris. (I don't hear any of you other losers telling stories.)

I want this t-shirt!

Oh, I miss you Matt.

good morning Beavers!!!

That doesn't sound like you Matt, but it does sound like Kevin.

Kevin used to be a member. There's a post in here somewhere where he noted that he would sing the posts aloud to the tune of ... I forget.

I am insanely good looking today.

Here's somethng for all you cardinal fanatics. Play by play for the first inning of today's game. Enjoy.

Brady Clark hits the first pitch for a line drive into Left Field. So Taguchi catches the ball in his teeth, completely swallows the baseball.

Umpires confer.

Jeff Cirillo falls behind in the count. Goes back to the dugout and brings out an oversized wiffle ball bat.

Waves it menacingly. Carpenter ready.

Called strike three. 2 away.

Swing and a miss! Carp strikes out the side!

I bleed Red and Blue
for my Cardinals baseball
my Ford and You
anything else baby just won't do
I love my Cardinals my Ford and You.

Line drive homerun by grudz!
Line drive double to center by Larry Walker!

Albert Pujols up.

Bares his teeth at the Milwaukee pitcher.

Fouls a couple off.

Steps out. Punches himself in the jaw, hard.

Steps back in.

Walker pulls a sweat rag out and begins polishing his head. Pujos grabs his crotch and flips off opposing teams' batboy. Crowd goes nuts.

Pujols gets a base hit to right, Walker distracted by polishing his head, must stop at 3rd.

Oquendo pokes him with a pointed stick and shouts at him in Spanish.

First and third.

Fearing Albert's blazing speed, the pitcher keeps throwing to first.

Albert picks up dirt and rubs it all over his face, attempting to camoflauge himself.

EDMONDS doubles! Pujols stealthily moves to third. Walker polishing his head again but makes it home easily.

Rolen walks. Bases loaded.

So Taguchi coming up to bat.

Taguchi wearing a Zorro-type mask today.

Taguchi takes a strike.

Steps out, points his bat at the pitcher, waves his bat and makes a Zorro-style Z in the air.

Taguchi steps back in.

Taguchi pops it up. Infield fly rule.

Taguchi bows to pitcher. Goes back to dugout, apologizes to teammates. Throws Zorro mask in the trash, picks up Richard Nixon mask.

Nunez up. Fall behind 0-2.

Molina on deck. Molina crying quietly to himself.

Nunez steps out. Realizes shoes on our wrong feet.

Calls time, unties cleats and switches them to opposite feet.

Ground out, force at 2nd, Nunez speeds down line courtesy of his corrected shoes and beats throw.

Molina comes to bat, weeping silently.

Molina flies out to right.

Knowing he would make an out, he was still dressed in his complete catcher's equipment so he just squats behind the plate.

Somebody else wrote all that. Not me. I'm sure none of you read it anyway.

My boss got me a "Fear No Art" coffee mug from the Museum of Contemporary Art in Chicago.

He then sent an email that explained the phrase. It included the following excerpts:

Two small signs appear on my office door. One says: "Fear No Art." The other says: "Fear No Art." What's the point? The first reminds us not to fear art that challenges us and makes a demand on us to think differently. The second tells us to fear the absence of art.
http://www.gracecathedral.org/enrichment/excerpts/exc_20010829.shtml

I am a firm believer in "Fear No Art!". I think that we many times get caught up in what offends us and don't think of what the meaning of the offensive art may be. I think the most offensive art has a place. It's someone's expression, someone's voice. That voice cannot be silenced any more than the protesters voice can.
http://themikejones.tripod.com/me/

Yes, please. Get some. We might endulge in it when we come up in May. Throbby A, would it screw up yer plans if we came up May 13th? Plans have still not been confirmed.

My cousin Tom's wife emailed me back and said she is going into surgery for pancreatic cancer in May, and that company is not an option.

Kim got fired, and may been in a full-time j.o.b. next month, and may not be in a position to take off.

Regardless, we are still coming up. Just don't be surprised if we come knocking at 1 AM some night. But please do try to answer the door naked.

Somewhere in heaven or hell a goat is smiling.

Mia should have followed suit with the Bo Sox.

Some girls / baseball organizations / newspaper owners / soccer players / yuppie fans / are just suckers for losers with troubled groins.

If the Cubs do manage to woo Palonco from Philly, I will become 1/25th cub fan.

It smells like someone used my Cardinal shirt to pick up some dog shit. Is their no end to the masochistic nature of a Cub fan?

What also makes me sick to my stomach is all the "new wave" bands coming out of the woodwork. I could almost deal with The Killers, but now we have to put up with The Bravery too?

Congratulations Kim. Consider your State Treasurer assignment "Mission Accomplished".

Now when Judy doesn't get elected Governor, we can all blame MustBeTheWhiskey.

BREAKING NEWS FROM MATT SLUDGE: WHISKEY BROUGHT DOWN BAAR TOPINKA'S CHANCES TO BE GOVERNOR

I guess that means Kim's not getting me another birthday present. I want the rest of you to spend more money now. Let's make this a bank buster.

My dad called me today to say "happy b-day." We talked about cole slaw for a while.

I told him I hate cole slaw.

I also told him how upset I was with the pope selection.

He told me he hated Catholics.

Sorry about getting canned kim. I'll get you drunk tonight.

Bush coming to town always means layoffs.

Good news for people who love bad news:

KIM JUST GOT FIRED FROM THE STATE TREASURER'S OFFICE!

Some asshole attorney wrote a letter and BAM! She's gone.

I'm told the conversation went something like this:

Kim: Unclaimed Property Division. My name is Kim, how may I help you?
JERK: Listen, bitch. Gimmee my money.
Kim: Sir, I can't just write you a check. There is paperwork to fill out.
JERK: Dammit, I AM AN ATTORNEY!
Kim: Then you understand that we must follow Unclaimed Property Law.
JERK: DON'T TALK DOWN TO ME!
Kim: I...
JERK: Listen, I know Judy Baar Topinka. I've met her so many times my teeth chatter.
Kim: I'll get you the number.
JERK: Now you are just being hostile. [click]

Fill us in on the rest, Kimmie. I want to know what else this guy said. Whatta piece a work, this guy.

Here comes the new pope.
Just like the old pope.

Jonsey, AF1 just bombed your house. There was a man with a cowboy hat reported riding the bomb to the ground.

The new pope is kinda old.

That's going to be the headline of the NY Times.

OK City is having the tenth anniversary of their building blowing up and they nabbed Clinton as their guest speaker. Hey OKLAHOMA! WANNA TRADE?

We'll take your blown up building and Clinton, and you can have Bush and a Museum.

Does this look like the inside of a boob or a penis?



Well, you perv, it's actully the magnetic (and supersonic) solar wind having intercourse with Earth's magnetic sphere.

That is why we keep you around, Jonesey. Keep 'em cummin.

If there is a gay prom, does that mean they have gay camp?

There are probably gay versions of all of our favorate activites. Who wants to go to gay MickieDee's?

Tasteless? I saya tasteless..ess. Oh ano sa. Winona and the first transgender buttpirate president...i say presidentay...is the epitome of calaasssss.

saw this on fark: Mom calls 911 because her teenage daughters are fighting; gets offended when dispatcher asks "would you like us to shoot one?"

Oh, yeah. Fuck that rude-ass gas machine!

Flying Carrots and 492,000 Bags of Ketchup

"when iceberg lettuce is imported to the UK from the USA by plane, the energy ratio is only 0.00786. In other words 127 calories of energy (aviation fuel) are needed to transport 1 calorie of lettuce across the Atlantic. If the energy consumed during lettuce cultivation, packaging, refrigeration, distribution in the UK and shopping by car was included, the energy needed would be even higher. Similarly, 97 calories of transport energy are needed to import 1 calorie of asparagus by plane from Chile, and 66 units of energy are consumed when flying 1 unit of carrot energy from South Africa.

Just how energy inefficient the food system is can be seen in the crazy case of the Swedish tomato ketchup. Researchers at the Swedish Institute for Food and Biotechnology analysed the production of tomato ketchup (2). The study considered the production of inputs to agriculture, tomato cultivation and conversion to tomato paste (in Italy), the processing and packaging of the paste and other ingredients into tomato ketchup in Sweden and the retail and storage of the final product. All this involved more than 52 transport and process stages.

The aseptic bags used to package the tomato paste were produced in the Netherlands and transported to Italy to be filled, placed in steel barrels, and then moved to Sweden. The five layered, red bottles were either produced in the UK or Sweden with materials form Japan, Italy, Belgium, the USA and Denmark. The polypropylene (PP) screw-cap of the bottle and plug, made from low density polyethylene (LDPE), was produced in Denmark and transported to Sweden. Additionally, LDPE shrink-film and corrugated cardboard were used to distribute the final product. Labels, glue and ink were not included in the analysis."

Excerpt from
Why Our Food Is So Dependent on Oil
By Norman Church
From The Wilderness

Thursday 07 April 2005

Clive Owen is sexy in Closer and cool in Sin City. Look how perfect director Rodriquez got the details right:

JIt's (sp) nice out today Eric. Go aplogize to that machine.

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

Transhuman is a term that refers to an intermediary form between the human and the posthuman.

The etymology of the term "transhuman" goes back to philosopher F. M. Esfandiary who, while teaching new concepts of the human at New School University in 1966, introduced it as shorthand for "transitional human." Calling transhumans the "earliest manifestation of new evolutionary beings," FM argued that signs of transhumanity included protheses, plastic surgery, intensive use of telecommunications, a cosmopolitan outlook and a globetrotting lifestyle, androgyny, mediated reproduction (such as in vitro fertilisation), absence of religious beliefs, and a rejection of traditional family values.

Sounds like the people on this blog.

Eric is protheses; Mike is plastic surgery, Joe is telecommunications, Monica is a cosmopolitan outlook; Margaret is a globetrotting lifestyle; Matt Bright is androgyny; I'm mediated reproduction; Kim is absence of religious beliefs; and Matt Woo is a rejection of traditional family values

Cyborg Liberation Front
Inside the Movement for Posthuman Rights

Village Voice | August 5, 2003
by Erik Baard

Once out of nature I shall never take
My bodily form from any natural thing,
But such a form as Grecian goldsmiths make
Of hammered gold and gold enamelling

Yeats's wish, expressed in his poem "Sailing to Byzantium," was a governing principle for those attending the World Transhumanist Association conference at Yale University in late June. International academics and activists, they met to lay the groundwork for a society that would admit as citizens and companions intelligent robots, cyborgs made from a free mixing of human and machine parts, and fully organic, genetically engineered people who aren't necessarily human at all. A good many of these 160 thinkers aspire to immortality and omniscience through uploading human consciousness into ever evolving machines.

---

Aspiring to immortality... Idiots. Those Star Wars movies are not even science fiction anymore, but science fact. I used to love them because they were such high fantasy, now every little technological detail has already come true. I still don't believe it.

Bionic eye will let the blind see

Scientists have developed a non-invasive brain-computer interface

FDA Okays Another Brain-Stimulating Implant for the Masses

Is it strange that people get information about the NATALE'S by reading the Buisness Journal?

Lea had baby #2. The baby's name is Ben 2. She's not as important as the first baby because she's came after. That's not fair, but that's life. It took me 29 years to come to terms with that. And 6 of those years I was Lea 2.

I wonder what is was like living in the seventies, when the average 25-year-old man in 1970 made $2 per hour more, adjusted for inflation, than in 2000?

And that is just income. Now with gas prices at about 2.25, the price of everything else is going up. Yet somehow we get by. I guess it is not all about the money after all.

Congratulations on the new Maher babies. I think the world got a little bigger and brighter.

Congrats to me on becoming an aunt for the 8th time on Friday.
Tyler Patrick Maher was born around 11 am
He was due to be induced on Sunday (yesterday) which was my mom's birthday-- but he couldn't hold out!

Happy Birthday today to my little brother Mitchell.
He is 14 today.

Speaking of neices and nephews... Mike didn't your sister have another baby? I think I read that in the Springfield Business Journal a few weeks ago?

I wonder if they have a video on one of the Internets of Henry VIII's cadavar exploding. That I would like to see.

Maybe they're using popery (sp) instead of furbreez.

Nice link Chubby. I found this particularly ... strange:

London's Guardian noted "plenty of tales from history of exploding bodies (Henry VIII was apparently quite spectacular) and disintegrating cadavers (Pius XII turned black in 1958 and his nose fell off - and that was in October)."

I'm thinking about changing my name to rapturous redn3ck. (sp) I could give Packing Heat a run for his money.

If there are no good or bad puns, can someone think of a clever use of popery/potpourri?

Continuing our potpourri of Pope news: Report: Pope Lying on Ice Tray

"I think you will find that he's been chilled and the body may be lying on an ice-tray. He's not got a wax mask so I should say that they have embalmed him at least from the neck upwards and they will have covered the body in skin creams. I am confident that his head's had cream all over it."

They embalmed the previous pope. After 33 (numerology buffs take note) days of being Pope, John Paul I ate too much of his medz. Oops.

Gennari: "John Paul II’s predecessor mistakenly took an overdose of tranquillisers... After his conversation with Cardinal Villot, the Pope mistook the dose he should have taken." (Ouest-France, undated press clipping, July 1984)

Cardinal Villot: "What occurred was a tragic accident. The Pope had unwittingly taken an overdose of his medicine. If an autopsy was performed it would obviously show this fatal overdose. No one would believe that His Holiness had taken it accidentally. Some would allege suicide, others murder. It was agreed that there would be no autopsy."

.

"It's ok because I don't really mean it."

1. This is how I feel all the time lately.
2. When I die I want to explode like Henry the VIII.

Hey throbbing androdiny. I got on indienudes.com. You'd like it. There's naked girls.

Kudos on finding that site my man.

Little Boy Blue said they're keeping a bottle of furbreez by the pope for when it gets a little to hairy.

We can make jokes like that because we're Catholics. I don't one any of you elitist atheists and feminist witches making Pope jokes.

Something I'd like too see and have a video tape of: Whiskey Whipping Chubby.

Little Boy Blue also has a cat with a mole the size of a ping pong ball. That cat is the ugliest old lady I've ever seen, and now she's trying to rub her mole on me.

I'd never thought I'd make it into the upper 18% of humanity. This is an auspicious day indeed.

Jim is sure to love this one: Rapper 50 Cent has become the first artist to have four singles in the US top 10 at once since The Beatles.

Jim and I saw Sin S1Ty (sp?). Ita was Good. (gesture: kissing my fingers)

Tee hee. I love cannonballs fired at people. Only my liberal sense of humor will let me laugh at that. Makes me wonder: What do the non-elitist conservative Nascar Dads find funny?

And know to appease the intellectuals of this blog (Matt K. and the feminists), I will now catch a cannonball fired out of a muzzle loaded cannon with my bare hands.

Who's bad now?

Hey, have you beavers heard about the Pope not being embalmed? No joke here. The Cardinals just put some make-up on him and put him on display.

Sin Ci5ty (sp) did't even come up with something this ... strange.



.

Kudos LP rx on your latest man hate joke. I love liberal jokes.

I also love to go clubbing. Anybody up for some seal clubbing?

On puns: Dr. Katz said their is no good or bad puns, just puns.

I've been trying to get this nerd from work to join this blog, but unfortunately he's on Internet II.

I just feel left out because I'm the only one who hasn't invited a nerd to join the blog.

I was 45 minutes late for work this morning. DST, damn you!

The wind was blowing my hair. Luckily, my hair looks good in any language.

Typical YAHOO! IM conversation with Mark:

Matt: Pat says he misses you being late
Matt: So I came in 45 min late in your honor
Mark Clotfelter: lol
Mark Clotfelter: I've gotten better IM's from a drunken monkey
Mark Clotfelter: tell Pat that I miss his great personality
Mark Clotfelter: and kind heart
Mark Clotfelter: :X
Mark Clotfelter: and...
Mark Clotfelter: that I love him
Mark Clotfelter: and you
Mark Clotfelter: and the whole world
Matt: I can't tell him that
Matt: But that is pretty funny
Mark Clotfelter: lol
Mark Clotfelter: I think if you told him that, we (he and I) wouldn't be best friends anymore :D
Mark Clotfelter: you may not have known this...but he and I were "CHAI BUDDIES" too :-O
Mark Clotfelter: and deer-meat buddies
Matt: you....I feel betrayed
Matt: sneaking around on me?!
Matt: I thought you were my only Chai BUDDY!?
Mark Clotfelter: lol
Mark Clotfelter: SPICY deer meat :->

I wish that train at Minute Maid Park would derail and kill some Texans.

Speaking of cool ideas, what do you guys think of court drama starring Ron Kanowski? I'd watch it.

.

Oh my God! It's punk rock. It came back again. What are we going to do?

I've got some ideas for the beautification of Springfield. I think they should recreate the Gaza Strip across the street from the new presidential library.

If that doesn't go over well I think we should tear down de ja vu and build the Gaza Strip Club.

Students Begin Sit-In at Washington University
By Clay Barbour
The St. Louis Post Dispatch
http://www.truthout.org/issues_05/040505LA.shtml
Tuesday 05 April 2005

Who is this gay mustbethewhiskey? For the record, my girlfriend and I are going to Chicago, and if you don't watch it, she WILL kick your ass.

She has a deadly high-kick.

Pop Culture Jones is like a gay Morissey.

"Nearly a third of 14-year-olds plan oral sex within six months. . ."

- join the club kids

Sedaris is less than two weeks away. Sunday, April 17th, 7 pm.

Me and Kim are planning on coming alone, and then we plan on staying with my cousin Tom after we stay a night or two at your place. That doesn't mean E-dog can't come, just that he has to drive seperately.

Word.

I don't think that is irony. It's the nature of the beast. Good and evil, love and war.

How arrogant is Drudge to say that American cinema is the antithesis of the Catholic Church?

Drudge is a (expletive deleted)(expletive deleted)(expletive deleted)(expletive deleted) douchbag.

He isn't even a Catholic. Just an asshole.

Mr. Brightside,

Kim and I want to visit Memorial Day weekend. WOuld that be suitable to YOU?

It looks like our buddy is having a crisis. Cyber-penii herds are stampeding all over his female online personality.

It ain't always fun being a woman.