My new phone number for every beaver is 217-789-1679. This is a home number but i'm probably still better reached on my cell @ 652-6328

Mattie,
maybe we should make boy of the week Bianca's place?

mattie,
tomorrow? you gonna bring over some beers and check out my new digs?

She knows, she knows. But does she read it? She is coming over to drop a one of my shirts. This ought to be weird.

come now. or tommorow.

Nobody loves me, everybody hates me.
Might as well go and eat worms.
Long ones, short ones, big fat juicy ones, see how they wriggle and squirm.
Bite their heads off, suck the juice and throw the skins away.
Nobody knows how I survive on a hundred worms a day.

What is a good time? What time do you get off work? Would Sunday be a better day, or is Labor day going to make OG hell?

come Matt.

You have my help with any computer setup you need, Joe.

Mike, I'm very female that way. I wanna know why a relationship doesn't work.
Are you working all weekend? I would love to come up Sat or Sun, even if just to watch you pass out from working a double.

I remember when I was breaking up with Deni - for like six fucking months. When we were fighting I would ask for her dictionary. She didn't have a thesaurus. She would call me all kinds of shitty names, and I would have look stuff up if couldn't think of anything to say. It was great fun. Sounds like Bianca didn't need a dictionary for you Matt. That's one of the troubles dating a girl who has a multi-syllabic vocabulary. It sometimes takes you a couple of days to figure out what the fuck they're calling you. People (expecially females) wanna know why a relationship doesn't work.

"I don't like you. You're creepy." sums is up best.

here's hoping all you beavers have a fantastic weekend.. matt, i'll let you know about monday night.... please let eric know

Joe, The dsl installation is SOOOOOOOOO easy.
I"m back in the game folks. Computer and phone line hooked up at home now... i should be on ALL THE TIME!!!!!

Matt, shut up. You'll be back with her in a week, we all know it.

The Cult of Bianca

"The psychopath is often charming, bright, very persuasive," explains Louis West, a professor of psychiatry at the University of California at Los Angeles medical school. "He quickly wins people's trust and is uncannily adept at manipulating and conning people."

"The problem with cults is that with finding purpose can come financial, emotional, and sometimes physical abuse, says Rick Ross, who since 1982 has been actively involved in consulting on Bible-based cults."

This is my new theory. I joined a cult, complete with a moralistic, charismatic leader. The Cult of Bianca. I worshipped at the temple. Cults have several strategies they use to control their members. Confusing the role of sex, knowing what victims are susceptible, separating members from their friends and family,

Confusing the role of sex
You know how David Koresh had all those sexual concubines at the Waco compound? Well, I think Bianca uses sex in much the same way. She said to me once, "When was the last time you wanted to fuck me? Really fuck me?" I was stunned. We had phenomenal sex. I think she wanted me to NEED it. She wanted to use it as a weapon. A carrot and a stick.

knowing what victims are susceptible
Cult leaders also choose carefully their victims, especially those easily persuaded and those with low self-esteem. Why do you think she chose indie boys, or the shy, quiet dejected types? Because they are likely to feel isolated and part of a special sub group. Malleable.

"People from all walks of life, socioeconomic classes and levels of intelligence may be targeted by cults, Ross says. "When someone is feeling lonely or isolated, they become vulnerable."

I was easily seduced, and loved to hear the compliments, the charm, and feel the love. Alex Shryock is her star pupil though. I was always jeolous of their camaraderie.

Another good trick she pulled was persuasion. I had occasionally thought that she was self-centered and egotistical, yet she somehow convinced me that I was the self-absorbed, unsympathic one. I'm still smarting over that.

Separating members from their friends and family
"They promote a kind of 'scorched Earth' policy to separate these people from their former lives," Ross said.
She never seemed comfortable around my friends or family. She herself did not seem to have many, and I think she wanted the same for me.


In the end, I was not worthy. I was always too rebelious and free.
I survived.


I could go on and on with this analogy, because I think it is rich and has some truth. I have a million more details and anacdotes, but I'll spare you all for now.

Cheap mindless sex COMPLICATES and ENHANCES sincere feelings bubbling up from the bottom of the quagmire, in my experience.

ya'll bitches heard the new OUTkast? the only rappers the matters is black bitch. i mean back bitch.

Isn't that cute. Jim is becoming self-sufficient.

Matt, just avoid having sex with Katie at all costs and you guys should be great friends forever.

Mike, Springfield is waiting for you.

Hey! Guess who's stupid? Me. I forgot to give my landlord 30 days notice, so I'm stuck here for one more month.

Well that's one more month of going away parties. I invited a bunch of girls to go to the strip club. They better not renig on me now.

That would have been great!

Good ole Wesley. He used to stay with some friends of mine out in Riverton from time to time. One night the crazy mofo almost bashed my head in on stage. He was a good guy, Matt shouldn't have tried to fight with him. He was huge and could have snapped him in two.

Mother fucker Mother fucker Mother fucker Mother fucker Mother fucker Mother fucker Mother fucker Mother fucker Mother fucker

One thing I remember about wesley willis was matt bright picking a fight with him at the loser's lounge. That shit was funny. "Matt ... stop. Matt... stop fucking with him. He's crazy."

All those asshole jocks loved his ass.

It looks like Jim's parents found the life-extending pharmaceuticals, diet, and other advanced technologies and are keeping alive and healthy.


Here is a site that Sarah recommended for cutting edge music.
http://www.epitonic.com/
Her musical recommendation this week is Mates of State.

Do you guys remember hearing about the fat schizo street poet Wesley Willis? He was infamous around these parts. I found this article on Epitonic.

R.I.P. Wesley Willis - (08/22/03)

We regret to inform you that one of the true American originals of our era, the incomparable Wesley Willis, passed away Thursday, August 21, at the age of 40. The obese schizophrenic street singer had entered the hospital on July 2, where emergency surgery was performed to quell mysterious internal bleeding, thought to be linked to the leukemia Willis was diagnosed with late last year. He had been recovering in an Illinois hospice, but his health was not good. The exact cause of death is unclear, but heart failure is suspected.

The endearing musical primitive had a song about everyone, it seemed, and put out more than 50 albums. Alternative Tentacles has been anthologizing Willis's work and plans to release Wesley Willis Greatest Hits Vol. 3 this fall.

Hopefully the demons that tormented him ever since he was diagnosed with paranoid shizophrenia in 1989 have been quieted. Wesley, we hope you're headbutting God up in heaven right now.


Matt, send those links you were telling me about. Have you talked with Katie lately?

You pitiable bastard. My generation is gonna make great use of all the new life-extending technologies coming down the pipe, while YOUR generation are all going to die at relatively the same age as your parents did.

Hang in their buddy. The will to live is of primary importance.

Our relationship was a lot like that movie Phonebooth. But i can't figure out which one of us was the sniper and which one of us was the asshole taken hostage.

I hated that fucking movie. That is what happens when two neurotic assholes get together - a bitter protracted power struggle.

It hits a little too close to home at the moment.

"It is never to late to have a happy childhood." Tom Robbins

Meaning: It is never to late to let me know what you think Brian. Blinded or not, I could have used the info. I called you last night to ask if you wanted to go out for drinks some night.

Glad to see Mike is so generous with his shoes and punk-rock shirts. I know what it's like to see a pretty girls' tits and want to give her everything. By giving her everything I mean exploiting her for selfish, narcissistic reasons.

She was awfully judgemental, you know.

Mike you fucker. I have the next couple days off for personal vacation so tell me about where I can be a part of these situations.

Matt, you were blinded at the time and whatever I could have told you wouldn't have mattered. You would have just hated me and I knew when to just let the course ride itself out. Consult me before your next fling and I can find out if she is worthy for you.

Jim, it is pleasant to see you on this blog. Maybe we can talk about music some time.

I met a really nice girl at the bar last night. I forget what her name was, but she took off her shirt and gave it to my buddy Scott. We spent the next fifteen minutes trading shirts. She has great tits. I ended up giving her a bitchin' punk rock shirt. She made off like a bandit. I think she's got my belt and shoes too.

Later we went to Kevin's where we all took our shirts off, and danced till four in the morning. I'd like to hang out with her again some time.

I'm gonna miss this town.

Joe, when I move back do you mind if I invite girls over for all-night, strobe-light hanky-panky parties?

Hey Matt. You dated a ho.

Holy Shit. It's Jim.

You didn't tell me anything Brian. I think you didn't want to say anything negative. But at least tell me now man!

I'm fucking bummed. I could use some cold, hard reassurance from friends. And I need an objective, logical perspective of what the fuck just happened!

I can't believe I'm that bad of a person! I can be cruel, sure. I was terrible to Amy when she took me to Seattle.
I don't think Bianca ever liked me very much as a person, or a friend. She used me for something else; a rebound boyfriend, a self-esteem boost, stability (ha!), sex, who knows.

It did'nt work out. Neither of us got our needs met.

I refuse to use birth control. I'm not hitting any fine ass though.

Matt, I didn't place any bets on how long your relationship would last, but I assumed that the two of you would be together forever. Hey, at least you hit the shit for six weeks.

Take life from the perspective. You could be a flatuant gasbag.

I haven't watched any television for about two weeks now. My cable got turned off; I mean somebody else's cable got turned off, which consequenty made my tv go fuzzy too. I feel completely empty. I want to watch moral court.

Um, I told you so?

I'm watching moral court right now. The conflict is that a mother of four refuses to use birth control. Stupid Catholics.

No, wait. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you.

"You didn't mean to hurt me. But you did." (Actual Bianca quote!)

Fuck you. I don't need your pity.

Hear me world! And PITY ME!

Conan's Harvard Commencement Speech

"So, that's what I wish for all of you: the bad as well as the good. Fall down, make a mess, break something occasionally. And remember that the story is never over. If it's all right, I'd like to read a little something from just this year: "Somehow, Conan O'Brien has transformed himself into the brightest star in the Late Night firmament. His comedy is the gold standard and Conan himself is not only the quickest and most inventive wit of his generation, but quite possible the greatest host ever."

Ladies and Gentlemen, Class of 2000, I wrote that this morning, as proof that, when all else fails, there's always delusion.

I'll go now, to make bigger mistakes and to embarrass this fine institution even more. But let me leave you with one last thought: If you can laugh at yourself loud and hard every time you fall, people will think you're drunk."

Not any more. We broke up Saturday.

I'm relieved in a way, sad in another. I don't know which ones of you were placing bets, but it went 6 weeks. Eric had 5$ on 2 weeks. Anybody else fair better?

I was "emotionally abusive" to the point of being a "sadist." Also, a "sociopath."

Yeah Matt, we all got problems. At least your getting some tail.

Does anyone else think ozzy ozbourne's rendition of "take me out to the ballgame" was a dead-on take of Harry Carey's?

Ok, forget the spine bit.

Read the article I linked to. Some fine investigative work.

The Flatulent Gasbag #3 in the Machine

(Computerized sexy female voice): Spinal regeneration complete.

Matt K.: Thank you, computer.

(Computerized sexy female voice): Self-esteem regeneration commencing.

Matt K.: Is this one going to be painful, computer?

(Computerized sexy female voice): I do not understand your inquiry.

Matt K.: Of course not. You've never deluded yourself into believing that you need to fall over yourself pleasing other people to be complete.
You're just a goddamn machine.

(Computerized sexy female voice): You're goddamn right, muthafu**a. Now shut the fuck up.

Hey fuckers,

Take a look at this. It should rile you nicely.

Blogayovich has done it again.

http://miniluv.com

Oh, Matt K. you're a big floppy cock. Grow a fuckin spine.

And a funny article written by Carina Chocano:

Consider, if you will, how romance is like a marauding bear, but also not.

Here is a selection from a new book I picked up.

Do You Love Me or Am I Just Paranoid: The Serial Monogamist's Guide to Love
by Carina Chocano

"No matter how culturally invalidated you may feel, there is nothing wrong with you, your tepid decisions, or your ambivalent approach to love and commitment. Think of it this way: it is quite possible that you have unconsciously devised a clever way to live the life of a married person and a single person simultaneously without cheating, lying, or developing a set of discrete personalities, each with its own hobbies and dietary restrictions. Why tie the knot, when you can simply leave the rope slung casually over your throat? Why be single on a Saturday night, when you can be single, and therefore trendy, on the dotted line? If noth- ing else, the experience of barreling through a series of committed relationships has probably made you the wiser and stronger beneficiary of an impressive collection of boxer shorts. "

Yes, it is. I'm neurotic as hell and I'm driving myself crazy, which drives those around me crazy. I'm a smothering, clingy, overbearing, oversensitive mess.

I'm getting control back slowly. It just takes some humor. I have to stop being ruled by my erratic emotional states and neuroses.

"Lighten up." she says.

She is right.

Ah, it was co-dependency at first sight.

Moving day in t-2 and counting

Matt, is it really that bad?

Mike, will I be able to come up one last time before you come back? Is this weekend open any time? I think I need a break from Springfield.

Yeah, you and Patti have a nice home. I love all the wild plants and the mysterious lurking Matt Woo.

I can't wait to move out of my parents house. I'm emotionally crippled and immature. Moving out will help me become more so. I plan on moving out next year, after I'm done with school. God, it's embarrasing. I can't take my girlfriend home, cause it's not really my house.

Monica: I'll be living in a state of maddenning anxiety. (with my parents)

Only if you got a phone call. I never asked who won. Maybe I'll query about it tomorrow.

And Gasbag.... i gotta know... did i win a gamecube?

Uncle Mike
Inquiring minds wanna know... where will you live when you move home?

As Dr. Dre would say, "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks".

As Bernard Mickey Rangle would say, "Yum".

A lot of people are trying to place blame for the blackouts last week. I liken the situation to something Homer Simpson once said - It was just a bunch of stuff that happened.

I'll be moving into the gay room Joe. Oh, and shit, I forgot your birthday. When I come in town I'll take you out to lunch. Matt Bright: You will never see any of those crazy people again.

"A tapping, delicately, on my back. I am sitting up on a table, feeling gentle taps on my back, watching a series of images; myriad tables receding into infinity, like two mirrors facing each other.

Farmers milking cows; On each table a person is sitting up and examined by a small, slim, white, intent, fragile, large eyed creature. Their fingers probe lightly, gently, purposely, like playing a piano.

They are milking Chakras or Kundalini nerve centers, seven along each person’s spine. Their touches stimulate hidden DNA sequences as well as retrieve and store data and information along the length of the spinal chord, along a library of nerves.

Like ants milking aphids they spend careful time and effort, gently, delicately, fingering each spine in a long sequence of tables, like marionettes playing human harpsichords.

These manipulations of spinal nerves initiate secret, as yet unbidden DNA sequences..."

http://iwasabducted.com/schroeder/tapping.htm

To be so young and mistaken for gay...

I've thought I might die on a bike. I wonder what the critic was thinking about before he got splattered. I hope it was a movie he liked.


I planned on visisting this weekend, but I've since decided otherwise. No me. I've got to get off this barber shop by the end of the month, so I need to clean and pack, and start bidding my farewells to the Bloomingtonites. I'll be with my Springfield Beavers soon.

I met a girl named beaver. First name, Lindsay. She's a flirtatious little scamp with a skunk hair cut.

The Filthy Critic is dead.

Long live the Filthy Critic.

Why do the funny ones have to die, and not assholes like Gasbag?

Damn FiMi you got took!
I get subpoenas all the time for that kind of stuff. It happens more than you think. My advice to you is not to give any info about yourself for any reason unless you check out who is asking for it.

Yea, I agree Matt K. FUCK YOU!

They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.
---Benjamin Franklin, Historical Review of Pennsylvania, 1759.

I like comedy.

Saw Matt Woo last night.
He looked different.

He showered.

Fuck me. Fuck me.

I don't know if any of you have seen this, but it's pretty funny.

Link to The Timmy's message board

That spanish rice turned out deliciously by the way. I had it with veg chicken fajitas. Muy bueno y muy delicioso!

I've been wearing the wrist brace on my right hand at work for the past two weeks and it has been helping. I'm only working for Margaret one day a week lately. I'm just terrified of reaggravating my injury.

I have to agree with you Joe. I'm just surprised that the Anti-Defamation League wants a peice of the Box-Office pie.

I'm making spanish rice for dinner to go with the veggie chicken enchiladas. I'll use some of the following ingredients, give or take a few:

3 cups rice -- cooked
1 large onion -- chopped
4 stalks celery -- chopped
1 large green pepper -- chopped
2 cloves garlic -- minced
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1 teaspoon chili powder
1 teaspoon cumin
1 cup tomatoes -- chopped
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon oregano
1/4 teaspoon pepper

I'll have to make the lasagna this weekend. I've had pasta for two days in a row; breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Hand ringers.

ADL Concerned Mel Gibson's 'Passion' Will Fuel Anti-Semitism if Released in Present Form

"New York, NY, August 11, 2003 … After having attended a private screening of Mel Gibson's new film, "The Passion," the Anti-Defamation League (ADL) today voiced concerns that the film, if released in its present form, "will fuel hatred, bigotry and anti-Semitism" by reinforcing the notion of collective Jewish guilt for the death of Jesus. An ADL representative was present at a private screening of "The Passion" at the Museum of Fine Arts in Houston, Texas."

I got my first tattoo yesterday. Piece of cake.

Happy 1 month to me and Bianca.

Shari, my supervisor, just had her 25th wedding anniversary yesterday.

It's next to where they have the diving. I'll only be there until 3 that day, but a familiar face will help the day go by. :)

is tomorrow wednesday? because I'm going to the fair on wednesday.... where is tech town?

The picture doesn't do justice for the woman in red. In person she looks like she could jump right out at you. I recognize the woman you're attracted to from last year. She always works at some booth I can't remember. Maybe she'll be there next year??? I was trying to get a pic of the girl looking at me. I met her last year and saw her again at a show in KC. Well, this weekend I'm off down south.

Oh, if anyone is going to the state fair tomorrow during the day or early Friday evening stop by in tech town and say hi.

Cool images, Brian. You are a fucking player.

I particularly like the image of the woman in red. I can't read the other graffiti. There is also a picture of a hottie with a white tank top, orange hair, and tattoos on the second page that I like.

Brian.... i don't see a gallery entry for your picks.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOE!!!!

You guys suck. Just kidding, you're good people. Here's a gallery of pics from my weekend.

http://gb.galapagos4.com/gallery/Scribble-Jam-2003

Whole lotta fucking going on 10 months ago (pregnancies are actually nearer to 10 months than 9)-- I know of at least 10 birthdays that are happing in the August/September months.

i got ya.
that makes all kinds of sense.
Happy birthday ERIC

We've been spending a lot of time together. I needed a break.

I'll be early tonight for a change, Moni.

It's Eric Fliege's Birthday today.

Happy Birthday Eric!

why didn't you and bianca talk on tuesday?
Inquiring minds want to know

Mattie---deal... two brothers it is at 9:45. Don't be late. PLEASE --i hate sitting alone. All you other beavers are welcome to join us... thursday 9:45 at Two Brothers.

Not responding to your taunts makes me superior.

Monica, Thursday is great. Let's go to Two Brothers at 9:30 or 10.

Matt K, I really need to know what makes you think you are superior over me.

Yea, that monkey thing pissed me off. I await your imminent crash and burn. On the outside I will show pity, but on the inside I will cry with bliss. That's right, bliss at your suffering. HA HA HA HA HA

Bianca and Matt's Tuesday itinerary: Don't talk to each other.

You gave me an idea for an alliteration: From your perspective, poetry is a place of permanent pubescence.

Thanks Gasbag!

Mattie----
Sorry bout monday night... i was at work. Maybe thursday night?
2 and a half weeks til new apartment. I will be inviting friends over for a meal.!!!!! I will be cooking.
Brian----Thanks for forgiving me. I was worried all weekend.
Off to replant an aloe vera plant.... How exciting!!!!!!

Yes Matt K, this 'monkey boy' as you qualified me, was dead on the nose on your pubescent ramblings. Why do you continue to degrade yourself in this way? Keep perspective.

Matt B, all I can say is...why?

Matt. Your poem makes me constipated. Good work chap!

I agree with your Koan gasbag.

Meanwhile: My world. I'm making collared greens today. Usually white people don't do shit like that. But sometimes it's important for white guys to put away their skateboards, turn down their heavy metal music, and learn about other cultures. ie; black people. Does anyone have any suggestions as to some spices I should put in my greens.

Bianca and Matt's weekend itinerary:

Friday: had a drink in the pink room at the 11 west martini bar, and discussed our superiority and higher class than the other erudites. Went to Floyd's and got a "thumbs up" from a mullet headed stanger in approval of my date for the evening. Talked to Andy Powell and Megan Burpo. They are getting married finally, after five years of dating.

Saturday: Woke up together, very sweetly. Saw her off to work around 7 am.
Watched some anime later that night: Barefoot Gen and Royal Space Force.

Sunday: Sandwiches and a walk in Washington park, around the carillon.
After Bianca fell asleep in my arms around 8, I made coffee and watched Casablanca for the first time. It thundered and lighteninged on the drive home.

We have some great conversations too.

You don't have to read what is posted, monkey boy. Didn't your momma teach you about free will and choice?
Also, brush up on the art of skimming long passages. Very useful if you ever have to read a collection of Gore Vidal's ramblings that you borrowed from your friend's stepdad.

This is evolution:
The monkey
The Man
then
the gun

Monica, of course I forgive you. How could I not?
Matt, I despise your rambling cut and paste messages. Do you think any of us actually read that crap? Short, consise, and to the point is all I ask for. Please just make a statement; not a textbook.

I apologize but it had to be said.

The only Koan I have come up with recently is that I exist only to exist. Comments?

Dada
Pronunciation: dah-dah
Function: noun
Etymology: French
Date: 1919
: a movement in art and literature based on deliberate irrationality and negation of traditional artistic values; also : the art and literature produced by this movement

I mistyped Bianca. She is a healthy Four, which operates like a One. The critical and analytical Virgo that she is threw me off too.
The emphases below are mine. Take all this with a grain of salt -- Personality types in my experience expose only a fraction of who the individual really is.

Enneagram Type Four (the Individualist)
with
Enneagram Type Four (the Individualist)

What Each Type Brings to the Relationship
As with all double-type relationships, two Fours generally bring the same qualities to each other. Thus, the Level of health of each person is especially important for these types of relationships as are their dominant instincts. Double Four pairs generally make good friends and deep friendship is something they often bring to their intimate relationships. Fours often feel misunderstood, yet feel a special bond of understanding with other Fours. They share stories of their childhood traumas, their private dreams and disappointments. Both types are openly emotional and sensitive to the needs of the other. Both are looking for adequate mirroring and in a double Four relationship, they have a real possibility of finding it.

Because each person in a double Four couple is so attuned to their own emotions, there is a great deal of sensitivity and respect for individuality and each other's emotional needs. They have the ability to laugh at themselves and to find amusement with each other in the dark loneliness of the childhood and adolescence. They are not put off by unearthing deep psychological and personal issues. Both are encouraging of the artistic and creative efforts of the other and find it easy to communicate about the most private and intimate issues as they arise. They feel that their relationship is a truly safe space where the other is on a similar emotional wavelength: both feel less alone and less like something is wrong with them personally. Double Fours are highly romantic and idealistic as a couple and their intimacy has the potential to grow into a grand passion of virtually operatic proportions. Emotional ups and downs, hopes and disappointments, elation and despair tend to make this couple more focused on itself than on practical life, child raising, or their careers. Enormous candor, deep friendship, and consideration for the unique history and emotional needs of the other would be hallmarks of this relationship.

Potential Trouble Spots or Issues
Emotional instability of the relationship itself is the main potential problem with a double Four intimate couple. Each person can be self-absorbed and excruciatingly aware of what he or she is getting (and not getting) in the relationship. Both want to be the focus of attention regarding emotional issues. Both want special handling—and insist on having special needs and they can resent the other for demanding the same for themselves. Both long for an ideal mate—and the feeling that one has found it—can alternate with depression (and other reactions) when expectations are disappointed. They can get into "Who's more damaged?" contests, a form of negative competition. Both are more or less secretly looking for a rescuer and can get lost in a morass of emotional drama even if they find one.
For all of their potential sensitivity, Fours also tend to withdraw from others and to withhold their attention and affection when they are having a conflict with someone. Fours have a profound lack of trust in others, and this lack of trust can extend even to their intimate partner. A period of testing will invariably happen that may be too much for the other Four to bear. They can be annoyed by the other's quirks and "sensitivities" and unacknowledged demands. They can be intolerant of the other, making each other walk on eggshells, ironically making it difficult to bring up certain issues with the other.

Double Fours can become moody and incommunicative, passive-aggressive, and disdainful, actually hating the very person they may have been so passionately in love with. Rejecting the other (and feeling rejected) can alternate from both parties. Arguments can spiral out of control and hurtful things get said until reconciliation becomes difficult, if not impossible. Once certain things are said in the heat of the moment, they can never be taken back. Permanent damage is done to feelings of trust and safety—and to the future of the relationship. Once hope for the relationship dies, it is difficult to resuscitate.

Yes, new bloggers coming soon.
She must be writing poetry about me in her paper journals. Yeah, that's it.

Geez..... have you forgiven me YET?

Brian, please accept my humble apology, for I am truly sorry. I should have in fact accused Fiebakki Misakki aka mattb. of being a butthole. I can't ever keep the beavers straight for nobody uses their real names. Aliases are fun but I can't keep track.