I think you have stunned us all with that one, Matt. Good one.

We were talking about Soul Mates last night. I don't think we have soul mates, but maybe each one of us is a soul mate, in the Australian sense of the word.

'Ello mate!
'Ello Guvna!

Soul Guvna's!

No, it wasn't. "You're a superstar. At the gay bar." That is the funniest shit I have seen in quite awhile.

Welcome back Joe, to the land of the living (and the standing). What's new at work these days?

Matt in your dream about alison was the elvis costello song alison playing in the background?

http://www.rathergood.com/elephants/

http://www.rathergood.com/gaybar/

where has matt bright disappeared to? haven't seen him post for a few weeks. Matt Bright-if you're out there... give us a sign.

oh yeah... what i want is for eric to show up on my birthday.

well colonel, I thank you for the hint. What do i want for my birthday? Well, Let's seee... i really just want to hang out with my friends and have a good time. If somebody wanted to take me out to dinner, that would be okay too. 8-)

Shut up, fatass.

I've found a song that explains how I feel about Mike Mann. It's called The Way You Say Goodnight, by the Magnetic Fields. The particular line I'm thinking of goes:

You've got a devastating point of view
and everything you say is true.
You're beautiful
beautiful

Also, the line "How come it's always dark when you're around?" is apt.

And Monica, my dear, you can see who is who by checking the Team section and looking at which e-mail address is attached to which name. That'll explain who is who. So you birthday is the 13th (What kind of bad luck number birthday is that)? Do you want something girly, like hand lotion for your birthday?

I think I had a dream with Alison in it last night. Except is was not the real Alison, but a nice version of the real one. Weird.

I'm Erik Cartmann. Who the hell is Monica Maher?

I"m lost. Who the hell is Erik Cartmann? I need warning when you fellas decide to change identity.

If I saved all the things I threw away I'd be a millionaire.

crazy ass colonel

Damn you Monica. You have birthdays every friggin year.

When we say, "I'll take a rain- check on that," we translate a social invitation into a sporting event, stepping up the conventional regret to an image of spontaneous disappointment: "Your invitation is not just one of those casual gestures that I must brush off. It makes me feel all the frustration of an inter rupted ball game that I can't get with it."
Marshall Mcluhan, Understanding Media, Chapter 6, page 59.

i'm glad your friday went so well Matty. I will have to let you know all about mine someday. FYI... birthday countdown... .Mike can you be in town on Thursday ? Matt, Can you get Eric out on a Thursday night?

Only rock and roll can save us. (Do we even need saving?)

Oh dear God, get me out of this hell called work.

da da, da dee dee da daa, da dee de daa da, da dee deee da da da!

I think the second one was stupider, because I wet my pants.

brian , it's okay. thanks though. I made it through the night pretty easily. I was there for 11 hours and they flew by

Sorry Mon, I don't read this everyday.

My stupid discussion board is keeping me busy. Take a look at the crap people post there sometime

http://www.galapagos4.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=forum&f=1

Some idiot has a freakin tampon comic he won't let die and other stupid BS.

that's okay.. I know who my real friends are. I appreciate all the outpouring of support. :-)
Matt, I hope your mom gets better soon.

Looks like we beavers left Monica up to swing in the breeze. My mom is having a meltdown right now. She's learning that she has no control over events in this world.

I found a good college Internet radio station. The white-boy punk/ska version of Snoop Dogg's "Gin and Juice" won me over.

LISTEN LIVE RIGHT NOW! to K-Beach. Student-run internet-only radio playing a variety of music from Urban to Alternative for more from California State University - Long Beach.

If you don't like that station, try one of these Internet radio stations from around the world on Internet Radio Index.

i am requesting that any beaver that wants to be kind and help me to have a great night at work, call and say hello or stop in and say hello.... i am embarking on an 11 hour work night.

Joe, that's classic. I like that answer. The second movie is mo betta cuz they don't have to introduce the characters. You already know who everyone is and it just sails right along. One part I really enjoyed in the second part was getting to see the home of the Weasley family. I only wish they would have shown more of it.

Not with that attitude.

Matt , It's about time.. it's gonna be out on video in april. Geez. Have all of the other Beavers seen it yet?

I think Monica has me beat. I did see Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets last night. That was fun.

Brian, Good luck with the name change.

I think that in fact it is I that had the greatest day. No explanations right now, but Matt, I'm feelin it .... that pleasurable experience you speak of ... Isn't it lovely?

Life sucks. Why can't I change my name?

I had the greatest day today. I feel the pleasure of being alive and not being a cyborg. I have chemicals streaming through my physical body, neurons pulsing through my chip (Internet) body, and my astral body is everwhere at once. It is very pleasurable experience.

The Five Bodies!

Beavers, I have a question for all of you... Who had the greatest day?

It is not in my power to change people's names.
Get well soon, Joe. Hope you get some days off to recover.

But Matt, I thought the Colonel was all knowing and all doing? You can't do Brian one simple favor?
Have a great day Beavers.

Brian, you have to change you name yourself to PimpBot 5000, I can't do it for you.

se·mi·ot·ic
Pronunciation: -'ä-tik
Variant(s): or se·mi·ot·ics /-tiks/
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural semiotics
Etymology: Greek sEmeiOtikos observant of signs, from sEmeiousthai to interpret signs, from sEmeion sign, from sEma sign
Date: 1880
: a general philosophical theory of signs and symbols that deals especially with their function in both artificially constructed and natural languages and comprises syntactics, semantics, and pragmatics
- semiotic adjective
- se·mi·o·ti·cian /-&-'ti-sh&n/ noun
- se·mi·ot·i·cist /-'ä-t&-sist/ noun

Read Marshall Mcluhan. I'm currently reading Understanding Media: The Extensions of Man. I'm in the chapter on media "hot" and "cold."
We have to put the magnifying spyglass back to the mixed-corporate media beast. Otherwise it will keep using us (human beings and our drama) as content. We are more than the content that is acted out daily in the Android Meme. The media uses us now purely as content now, nothing more. It is a living, organic machine that eats our dramas and replays them back to us in a satirical way.

Holy shit, I watched a great movie about the Kennedy assasination and conspircies called "Winter Kills," put out in 1979. Brilliantly written and acted. See also, The Manchurian Candidate.

And, Hillary and Bill are making sure that the democratic candidates are pathetic and weak so they fail against the horribly performing Furor Bush. This places Hillary and Bill in a position to "save" the democratic party for Hillary's eventual Presidency. Remember also, that the Bushes and the Clintons are good friends and agree on most issues, but the media wants you to believe otherwise.

The Colonel Signing off

What was I doing in the women's restroom: anything I can do behind locked doors.

and his hair isn't bright red... it's reddish brown. And his sideburns ... well i can't even begin to say.

Red heads are the sexiest! We all know it.

If the middle east could get their shit togher, they could counter bush in a heartbeat. dubya doens't have to have any internationalist expertiste at this point.

I got my Neil Hamburger CD in the mail yesterday morning. He's an awful comedien, but he's pretty damn good at it. My favorite joke so far: "Why did Julia Roberts rub shit all over her vagina? because she was horny ... "

Monica and I talked tonight. She's diggin on some redhead dude with sideburns named Josh.

She's not in love, but she's toltally in love. What is it about the beavers and redheads. I cornerd my little redhead sweetie in the women's bathroom at work tonight, in an attempt to put the moves on her, and she spent 5 minutes listening to her voice mail on her celluar phone. Apparently her Mom calls her 5 times a day. I spent the entire time gazing at the tampon machine, and listening to her Mom's voice mails. That's my life.

Matt Bright. Hey Man, Whaddya think of Kim Morman. She's the redhead that I wanna masticate.

Man, I wish I could have been around for Nixon. There was a great line from Hunter S. Thomspon in one of his letters to Johnny Depp. He said, "like Richard Nixon once said, "We could do that, but it would be wrong.""
I don't know what the context was when Nixon said that, and I wonder if Joe N. does. That is comedy gold.

And all we have is W. Nixon inspired the hatred of an entire generation.

Here is to you, Tricky Dick, here is to you.

Joe, what picture were you trying to display? The source of the picture should be the the format http://users.bigpond.net.au/jellery/yosemite-sam.gif

http:// is the transfer protocol
users.bigpond.net.au is the domain
/jellery is the directory
yosemite-sam.gif is the name of the picture file, in Graphic Interchange Format.
You need a closing bracket (>) on that too.

I just finished watching "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" for the 15th time, this time with commentary by the actors and the producer. This is one of my favorite movies, and certainly the movie I never get tired of watching. I've watched Fear and Loathing the most out of any film. The Criterion version that just came out has a bunch of extras that are worth a look.

Matt, you CANNOT post pictures here. But you can link to other pictures already up on the web using this nifty html code:

First, you need the URL (e.g. http://www.artnetgallery.com/graphics/art/roberto_matta/ComiqueTrippe.jpg) of where the picture is located. This can be found in the "properties" when you right-click on the picture. Then you put that URL into the following section of code, in between the quotation marks, as the image source, abbreviated "src."

<img src="http://www.artnetgallery.com/graphics/art/roberto_matta/ComiqueTrippe.jpg">

And the output of that line looks like this when published.

Artist:
Roberto Matta

Title:  Comique
trippe 1974

I am so proud to be associated with you people. Seriously, it warms my heart. I'd always envisioned this blog to be like a room full of people all screaming at the same time, making an inconprehensible wall of noise, and it looks like my dream is finally coming true.

Speaking of dreams, If my soul goes to the center of the Universe when I'm sleeping, then that means that they are ways to bypass the speed of light. Quantum physics and all that needs to be rethought.

Alt+Left Arrow is like pressing the "Back" button on your browser. I've been trying to figure out this shortcut for a year now. Somebody mentioned it off-hand in my user interface online class.

Matt Bright... LOVED Lucinda ! and yes my fellow beavers.. it's not 3 something in the a.m. and i WILL be the one you are driving beside on the I55 on my way to peoria at 7 this morning. I am stupid. I do stupid things. Happiness creates ignorance for me. I've only just begun!

I know it might be passe to write about the Iraqi-American war (at least here at the beaver), but I still can't help but wonder if it would be a better idear to let weapons inspectors help us eradicate Saddam's biological weapons before we go to war with him - at least for the soldier's sake.

DO NOT focus on socio/political opinions in this blog! And I'm not telling you how to post pictures. That would be dangerous.
Instead, post a link to your favorite picture. Ok? Good.

Good morning Beavers!!!! Zinc, I can see how you might get confused with all of the name changing going on around here. Welcome Matt Bright for he is a very intelligent bloke. You will get along Famously!

Matt... I don't wish to enter that 9-5 world at this point in my life. I don't wanna grow up. I'm a toys r us kid!
And maybe I should have said hello to your sister?

and matt bright... here is the breakdown.... vance ampersand = Matt K
Zinc Rambler = Joe Natale Matt K IV used to = Monica now she is monica again. i think that gets us up to speed.
Any more questions can be directed to my secretary.

I said hi to Matt Bright today on AIM and he promptly shut his AIM down. It made me feel.............
well it made me feel unloved damnit. (sorry, i'm emotional today)

okay... so I am semi unofficially out of love. And I'm changing my name back to Monica. Matt IV isn't working for me. Matt Bright welcome to the blog. Vance I'm sorry to hear that you got a ticket. My most important question is .................. Did you kids have fun at the show on saturday night?

You bet your ass I did! I was going 80 miles an hour and not wearing a seatbelt.

I'm so glad I only got $60.00 in fines this trip to Bloomington. I got away cheap. I call it "My donation to help with the Illinois budget crisis."

Allright gang, Google bought Prya Labs, which runs Blogger.com. Pretty soon, anyone will be able to type in "I'm in love" or "Little Runnaway boy" or "Captain Underpants" and get The Wily Beaver as a result. You see, Google is going to incorporate all the blog entries, over a million of them, which come from a Pyra labs database. Right now, one of the only ways to get our blog is to type The wily beaver A skilled engineer. This is because the Google search engine searches the Internet for web pages, many blogs are kept in private databases, like Blogspot.

So, since blogging is getting more competitive, I'm gonna need better work from all of you. We want to be number one in weblogs. Go Team.

Oh, and Michael, see me after the meeting. We have to talk about your spelling narrative coherency.

Sorry everyone, my dog got loose.

I'm tempted to kick Matt Bright off our blog if he is just going to post high-class toilet humor. I only like low-class toilet humor.

Ruff! Ruff!Ruff!Ruff!Ruff!Ruff!Ruff! Ruff!Ruff!Ruff!Ruff!Ruff!Ruff!Ruff!

Ruff!Ruff!Ruff!Ruff!

Ruff!
Ruff!Ruff!Ruff!Ruff!Ruff!Ruff!Ruff!Ruff!Ruff!Ruff!Ruff!Ruff!Ruff!
Ruff!Ruff!Ruff!

That Daredevil movie looks to be an opportunistic turd. Fucking Hollywood moneyfuckers. I keep wanting to like Ben Affleck because he a hyper fratboy, but that is the same reason I dislike him.

I think Mike, you are on to something with the Death of Love. We should call this the Age of Nothing, since the material world seems to be falling away. We have been holograms since technology came alive in the 50's.

You watch, TV and radio is eating itself. The conservatives dominate talk-radio because politics is the past, and independent forward thinkers have left that media stage. That is why Donahue or any other "liberal" show does poor in the ratings game: The forward thinkers have moved on to RELEVANT areas of cognition. Not the old bullshit hardware world of nations, senators, oil, drugs, and guns. That world is for the dinosaurs who refuse to face up to the present.

Don't pay attention to the TV. But watch it carefully and you will see it disintegrate.

With love from the Age of Love,
Vance

M. Bright's Manifesto.

Matt, I am open to new contributers, but here at the Wily Beave we have an extensive interview process.

Question one: Who the hell do you think you are? (Who are you thinking of asking to write? Are they mentally unstable? If so, they are on.)

Chandi sent me this and Matt, I thought of you.

Interesting, I didn't know.....
>
> GASOLINE SOLUTION!
>
> We CAN buy gasoline that's not from Middle East.
> Why didn't George W. think of this? Gas rationing in
> the 80's worked even though we grumbled about it.
> It might even be good for us!
>
> The Saudis are boycotting American goods. We should
> return the favor. An interesting thought is to
> boycott their GAS. Every time you fill up the car,
>you can avoid putting more money into the coffers of
> Saudi Arabia. Just buy from gas companies that don't
> import their oil from the Saudis.
>
> Nothing is more frustrating than the feeling that
> every time I fill-up the tank, I am sending my money
> to people who are trying to kill me, my family, and
> my friends.
>
> I thought it might be interesting for you to know
> which oil companies are the best
>to buy gas from and which major companies import
> Middle Eastern oil
>
>Shell............................205,742,000 barrels
>Chevron/Texaco.............144,332,000 barrels
> Exxon /Mobil.................130,082,000 barrels
> Marathon/Speedway......117,740,000 barrels
> Amoco...........................62,231,000 barrels
>
> If you do the math at $30/barrel, these imports
>amount to over $18 BILLION!
>
> Here are some large companies that do not import
>Middle Eastern oil:
>
> Citgo....................0 barrels
>Sunoco............. ..0 barrels
>Conoco............. ..0 barrels
>Sinclair............... 0 barrels
>BP/Phillips.......... 0 barrels
> Hess...................0 barrels
>
> All of this information is available from the
> Department of Energy and each is required to state
> where they get their oil and how much they are
> importing.They report on a monthly basis. Keep this
> list in your car; share it with friends. Stop paying
>for terrorism.............
>
> But to have an impact, we need to reach literally
> millions of gas buyers. It's really simple to do!!
> Now, don't wimp out at this point...keep reading and
> I'll explain how simple it is to reach millions of
> people!!
>

The boys are off for a night of fun in Champaign. I wish then well on their journey

I think it's fair Mike. I only wish it were true.

I don't think it's fair Monica gets to be in love, while the rest of us continue to live our relatively sane lives. I wanna dip into the psychosis of love too.

I've been harboring a little runaway kid for the last 24 hours, but alas the night became cold and I sent him on his way. Good Luck little runaway.

not to say that falling in love is still not an incredible expericience. it's just deader then it used to be. the little runaway boy is mike mann. i'm through running away from home. I'm going to be Mike again.

falling in love during the 18th century cannot compare to falling in love inthe 21st century. We're not the same people. We're close cousins at best.

Some of the greatest musical happenings during recent history came about during the early 20 th century: Blues and Country. Those two genres of music came about because people were desperate to get back what was lost. And that is the Age of Love. Wich is why heroin became so popular.

The meaning of life is "to love" is an ideology that did not come about until the Victorian Times. At least, I I think. If not, then somewhere around that time period. Prior to that period - the meaning / end all, to what life was worth - living consisted of different subjects. such as filiel piety during Confucious times. Many have ascertained that the age of love is approaching its decline with the onset and aftermath of the sixties, where it gave way to lust, and later, the seventies punk movement. The Buzzcocks sang: "There is no love in this world anymore." Talking Heads: "What does it take to fall in love. I don't think I'll ever fall in love" The fact the we have fake "reality shows" like Joe Millionaire and Baherlette further point to the direction that we are not a society that values love as so much, but that we are reminsicent of the Age of Love. Why did everone groam when the baherlette choose the poet? Because the poet sucked, and because the poet of love died out a long fucking time ago.

Conservatives like to point out (because they are stupid and backwards) that the sixties "do what you lust movement" killed the moralily of America. The conservatives are right. But they're sixty years behind the times. Love - as an end all - died a long time before that. The sixties were simply the aftermath of the death of "Loveage." And has much more to do with Darwin, then Timothy Leary. The crux of American Relativism came 80 years prior to a bunch of hippies dancing naked in the mudd of Woodstock.

and i'm not dipping into psychosis. I am in love. Didn't you read the posts? I'm just presently elated.

That is not the real Matt. That is I "Matt Komanecky IV" otherwise formerly known as Monica

Dang it! I can't change my name. I want to be Horny Harry.

I think Matt is dipping into psycosis.

I could keep going but you guys are all probably gagging by now. Vance give me a call tonight when you guys are headed out. I am pretty sure i'm done babysitting around 10. Little runaway boy, Have fun at work and at the show this weekend. (as you already know, due to my procrastination, I am unable to attend) Tell Eric hello for me.

"What's love got to do with it?" you might say. Well love is a many splendored thing. All you need is love. what is the definition of love? Love (luv) n to be fond of, desire 1. a deep and tender feeling of affection for or attachment or devotion to a person or persons 3. a feeling of brotherhood and good will toward other people 5. a strong , usually passionate, affection of one person for another, based in part on sexual attraction.
love implies intense fondness or deep devotion and may apply to various relationships or objects.

Have no fear beavers! It is I, Matt Komanecky IV here to say that today is a WONDERFUL day!!! The snow is melting, The weather is warming up. The birds are singing.......... Oh what love will do to a person.

oh my... I'm so cold and hungry. What do we have here? a blog. maybe I can stay warm and get some nibblets to eat here. at least for a little while.

by the power of vance ampersand. i have the power.

I in love with the fact that your in love, Monica! Yaaay!
To change your blog name, go to Team --> Click on your name, then click Edit.

Mike, you still are my mentor. Can't I have another? Are you jealous? Please don't hurt 'em.

I'm at work. What should I download? Nevermind, I'll just download some pussy emo bands. I love death cab for cutie.

I in love with the fact that your in love, Monica! Yaaay!
To change your blog name, go to Team -->

I am in love. I just wanted to share that with all of my beaver-y friends.
I would love to be Matt Komanecky IV. Can anyone help me with that?

I can't remember the last time I watered my plants, but, they're starting to look at me funny.

I thought I was your mentor in high-school Matt.

I'd like to change my name too Matt. I want to be Matthew Komanecky III. I want to be your love child. (I've been watching too many Michael Jackson interviews.)

I wrote a poem too. Here it is:

the sherriffff explored the yellow dirty river, flowing southeast
into a pit appropriately named the North Atlantic Sea.
he noticed tiny green (microscopic) dust fish darting in and
out of the sky, all telling him that he was officially crazy.
clicking his pen "smart little devil the dust fish are" he wrote
down in his notebookthat he planned to show his wife when he finnally found her floating

Here is a poem Matt B. sent.

What if it were a steel gray barrel? (Part 1)

What a cool minty freshness
is the soil beneath us
filled with appetite suppressants
and Moses and Jesus
But how are we to know
if the ball has been rolling
when we can’t find the step
to pull out from between us?
Cause if I were a man
with a nerve and a staple
I’d go straight downtown
For a pink and green cable.
And if the red is a bead
Who has nothing to say,
Then it’s an orchestra’s calling
to send me away
to the mines and the fields
in the Warrentown hall
where handicapped people
surrender and fall.
So don’t ask and don’t tell
where the good times went
or they’ll capture a knife
and command it to send
into ciliated caverns
and barbed wire defenses
and the gray in the attic
with honest intentions.

I liked the ending of Joe Millionaire. It all took place in the last five minutes. The two hours and fifty minutes leading up to it was fluff and drama.

MONICA! I'm still here!

What is in a name? We are all inside each other anyway, each in each other's digestive system, resonating on a single tiny node.
Look, I'm creating multiple media identities. Just like I present a physical identity when I meet you in person, I present my ELECTRONIC identity out here in cyberspace. Besides, I'm scared (conspiranoia!) of the Globalists/New World Orderites/Luciferians. I know that they will find me in their database and send in CIA/NSA thugs to erase me. So I'm practicing living with different identities so to keep them confused. Since we now live in an information overloaded environment, I'm hoping to get lost in the Matrix.

Bob Dobbs is my new guru. This is xenochronous (weirdly sychronous) since when I was working at Steak and Shake a man who sat at the counter, drank coffee, and read New Age books changed my world perspective. He brought me information regarding the magnetic entity Kryon, which blew my mind and still influences me today. So it is fitting that another Bob, Bob Dobbs, is having the same perceptual shifting effect on me today.
Listen to Bob Dobbs: Courses in Bob

Redefine your terms!

Does anybody know what happened to my friend Matt Komanecky?

Gangsta? Vance? King Louis? i'm SOOOOOOOOOOOO confused

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

It is never easy interacting with Gangsters, especially if they are not human. You always have to be on your guard. I'm listening to an Audio Book entitled "Killing Pablo," which is about the rise and fall of the Columbian drug kingpin Pablo Escobar. It is an amazing story. You would be amazed at how easy it is to flood the US with drugs. The local police would only catch 1 out of every 10 shipments of cocaine. And one shipment getting in would more than enough make up for the loss.
That is why George Bush Sr. had to have this guy hunted down and killed. He wanted control of those billions of dollars of drug money.

What else is interesting is how many people Pablo had killed. Judge after judge, Prime Ministers, Justice Ministers, Heads of rival cartels AND their brothers, sometimes entire families. All that violence you see in the gangster movies, TV, and rap songs: That's all based on real events and people!

I don't care what you like, people. (Assuming you are human.)

The answer to every poll question in every situation is:

"Turn it off!"

Betta put some ice on that!

Yea, I liked Vance better. The Gangsta is pissing me off.

The Gangsta Android Naval Intelligence is creeping me out. What happened to Vance?

OK, if you said one was "anal sex with a dildo" you were wrong. That is the Dalai Llama.

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
////////////////////////////////////{/}/////////////////////////////////////////////////
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Metaphors will only take you so far. You have to know how to use them.

ATTENTION ALL BEAVERS!

Don't pay attention to anyone who types in all capital letters. Mike was nostalgically looking back to a time when the phrase "Naked Cheerleaders" meant something, before Internet porn sites.

I don't mean to come off as always bad-mouthing religion. This is what religion means to me:
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Each one of those slanted lines represents one dimesion of a spiritual concept or faith. Each one means something different to different people. Can you guess which one is Pat Robertson and which one is anal sex with a dildo?

They finally caught that fugitive menace Jose Canseco. The streets are safer tonight.

Bloomigton, Il is on the map today, via the Onion News magazine. There's a story about a Bloomigton women that only read 20 out the 67 pages that her ex-boyfriend wrote to her about their break-up.

It's a trap! It's a trap! The Stripes mp3's are actually ten-second loops. Supposadely, however, I still might be able to download the album in its entirety.

The new White Stripes album has leaked its way onto the internet. Let the downloading frenzy begin.

poll

kid rock is the next:
a. bruce springsteen
b. john melloncomap
c. ruc acdc

the little redhead girl at work is:

a. simply a Peanuts allusion
b. and annoying and hyperactive waitress with red hair

Bush is:

a. a shrub
b. a dolt

London is:

a. burning
b. bored
c. scared

How did you come up with Captain Underpants names?