Why do you ask Matt? You coming down? I'm probably going to take my nephew Trick or Treating. I know of a few things that are going on, nothing spectacular. you have to make your own fun here in Springfield.

I'm considering throwing on a sheet and a mask and walking around as a ghoulish freak. Remember, halloween is about the dead and the dark spirits, the mysterious and the frightening.

I just want to dress up like a ghost.

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they
were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the
drawing was.

The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied,
"They will in a minute."

Elliot Smith is dead.

Mr. Felter. You're right. It made no sense whatsoever. To you. Everybody else, however, got the idea that I think I'm better then everybody because of my status.

Professor. What's another name for pirate treasure?

Kudos to you Mike the Shithead. You've made this a place I never want to come back to.

Did you guys know I have my own fan-obsessed site? I ran across it today. Check out some of these posts.

some girls say they love mike the administaor because he does put himself into his posts and as you read you begin to feel as if you know him as a person, because he is telling you things in his posts and when you hear it all you can do is think wow! this guy is amazing. he is the most incredible blogger ive ever read and his posts help me through so much!

hes a genius and i love him he is fascinating and id love just to talk to him for 5 minutes <3<3<3<3<3

Posted by: kelley at July 12, 2003 06:53 PM


what he rights proves he's a genius
and no other blogger apart from exceptions ever write about both appalling and/or stupefying issues in life.... padriac my prince makes me cry

Posted by: monique at August 6, 2003 11:40 AM

Mike the Administrator of the Wily Beaver is brilliant,his posts are the best,they're so meaningful...all his blogs are so beautiful..

Posted by: Alice at August 8, 2003 03:03 AM

the wily beaver is the most Amazing blog.. And Mike Mann is by far the most beautiful human being Administrator I've ever laid my eyes on. <3 I heart him.

Posted by: Kait. at August 20, 2003 09:07 AM


Well Well Well. Did you guys think I could get any cooler?

Popularity City! population: the Administrator.

Good Afternoon Lesser-Thans.

Time to start administrating. I'd like to start out by saying I had an exquisite conversation with one of our better bloggers Monica Maher, and she wanted me to pass on a message to Matt K, and you can quote me on this.

She said: tell matt k he is an ass. We talked for a little while longer and shared a couple laughs before agreeing that Matt K has girl hair too. So that happened.

Hail the Administator.

FYI peons: I've stopped reading everybody else's posts; they are unimportant to me.

Today was a wonderful day. I bought a bag of sunflower seeds this morning, and had a stimulating conversation with some mexicans who named their dog "tiger" in the afternoon. If you beavers want you can draw a picture of my day and send it to me.
That would be super. Thanks! :) :) :) :)

Hail the administrator.


ps... professer murder, can I see you in my office?

I'd like to see him administrate that.

Hey fuck you you howdy doody lookin mother fucker! The only thing your qualified to administrate is my foot up your ass!

All Hail the Administrator, for he is powerful.

(Do we have to start out every post like that?)

On to business:

Fox's coverage of Thursday's American League Championship game between the Yankee's and the Red Sox drew more than 27 million viewers, making it the season's most-watched program.

Altering another's posts is immoral and wrong. As administrator of this blog I admonish that type of behavior.

Professor Murder (as stupid as that name might be) has every right to be pissed off and start a war with a bitch.

Also, Mr. Murder. If you could refrain from name calling that would be super. Thanks! :)

Hail the Administrator!

Yo, who be fuckin with the professors posts!

Betta watch out before you start a war BITCH!!!

YOU!

Bastards!

I'm back on top you stinking beavers. Hail the Administrator.

Can I have administrative access?

I'll be good, and it will stick it to Matt Komanecky the Nimrod.

What the hell happened to my administrative status? Matt K? You nimrod. Gimme back my status.

Sometimes I feel like that kid....


Anyway. The Cubs are finally finished. Thank God. If I had to hear one more story about a smelly goat or the years 1908 and 1945, I would probably lose my mind and start eating all these Japanese beatles flying around Illinois. The Cubs are losers. That's a story?

bang bang
he shot me down
bang bang
down to the ground
bang bang

Kill Bill was so fun. I'm with Eric now, in the Matrix-hater's club. I tried to defend that peice of monochrome crap for awhile, but I've realized how futile and pretentious those sequals are. Right up there with the Star Wars prequels.

Mike, gimme my admin rights back! Then go back to Bloomington.

Fuck work. It's a beautiful autumn day. Even a hardcore gansta like me can see that.

to work or not to work? that is the question.

Mattie
are you guys coming over tonight?
it's BYOB!!!!

Josh saw kill bill twice this weekend... he says it awesome

October!? I thought the plaid show was NOVEMBER! I'm still willing, but ERIC may not have requested the night OFF.

Matt: You..are...a sod?
Mark Clotfelter: arhhh?
Mark Clotfelter: you need to replace the 's' with a small 'g'
Matt: Main Entry: sod
Function: noun
Etymology: short for sodomite
Date: 1818
chiefly British : BUGGER
Mark Clotfelter: lol
Mark Clotfelter: wow! not good
Mark Clotfelter: you Bugger
Matt: Bugger off
Mark Clotfelter: right-o chap
Matt: The British love sodomy humor.
Matt: Don't we all.

Mongolian Hordes technique

[poss. from the Sixties counterculture expression `Mongolian clusterfuck' for a public orgy] Development by gang bang. Implies that large numbers of inexperienced programmers are being put on a job better performed by a few skilled ones (but see bazaar). Also called `Chinese Army technique'; see also Brooks's Law.

Go back to Bloomington, you bastard! Nobody wants you here!

Ok, here is what happened.

You see, Mike moved back into town. Then he came over to my house without calling first. Just showed up at the back door and knocked REALLY LOUDLY! I can't take it any more!

I'm starting a campaign: Get Mike out of Springfield.

Who's with me?

Why be a bitch? It's your fuckin blog. You could at least explain the situation and talk shit about him.

This will be my last post for awhile. Mike has pissed me off.

Nevermind.

Hey douche bags. Help me change my name. I'm here at Matt's and he can't figure it out either.

you guys are all crazy .
I agree with you uncle mike.... Whatever.
You boys are invited over for a couple a beers on monday night after i get home from school. (if you want) i won't be up too late cuz i got school on Tuesday at 8 a.m.

whatever.

Yall bitches can't touch gasbag!

He be my homey so I don't wanna hear shit being talked.

The gasbag has passed his gas, and died. Goodnight Gasbag. Have fun in hell.

What a mental image I just got. Thanks, Professor.

My Dick=The most profound instrument EVER!

Whatever you do, don't think about my penis!




ha ha ha you're thinking about it, aren't you?

The Hours = Most profound movie EVER!

A gentleman wanders around the campus of a college looking for the library. He approaches a student and asked, "Excuse me young man. Would you be good enough and tell me where the library is at?"

The student, in a very arrogant and belittling tone, replied, "I sorry, sir, but at this school, we are taught never to end a sentence with a preposition!"

The gentleman smiled, and in a very apologetic tone replied, "I beg your pardon. Please allow me to rephrase my question. Would you be good enough to tell me where the library is at, asshole?"

Profession Jokes - Linguists

Is Flatulent Gasbag dead???

Scallywag is the word of the day.

Oh, Professor Murder, you scallywag.

Sounds like you let your boss walk all over you. Working in a hostile enviroment is counterproductive.

I'd cut that bitch.

Today's word is: subordinate

As in, "When I have a meeting with my boss, she lets me know that I'm subordinate."

Main Entry: sub·or·di·nate
Function: adjective
Etymology: Middle English subordinat, from Medieval Latin subordinatus, past participle of subordinare to subordinate, from Latin sub- + ordinare to order -- more at ORDAIN
Date: 15th century
1 : placed in or occupying a lower class, rank, or position : INFERIOR
2 : submissive to or controlled by authority
3 a : of, relating to, or constituting a clause that functions as a noun, adjective, or adverb b : SUBORDINATING

Godwin's Law prov. [Usenet] "As a Usenet discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches one." There is a tradition in many groups that, once this occurs, that thread is over, and whoever mentioned the Nazis has automatically lost whatever argument was in progress. Godwin's Law thus practically guarantees the existence of an upper bound on thread length in those groups. However there is also a widely- recognized codicil that any intentional triggering of Godwin's Law in order to invoke its thread-ending effects will be unsuccessful.

Damn you BLOGGER!!!!

Let my people post!

yo yo yo that's what I'M saying you know!

Hey Matt, I think I hear the bandwagon coming. Better hop on it!

Why couldn't I post all weekend? I tried and I tried and the professor be pissed now.

Go Cubbies

I've always been of cub fan, of course.

"Am I evil enough for your Evil Club?"
- King of Monstrous Doom

who is Professor murder? Cline felter? I AM SOOOOO CONFUSED!!!!! AARRGGHH!!

Mattie- I am stopping by your office in about 1/2 hour to get that tape!!

What nostalgia theme? Getting reamed by your boyfriend sucka?

If anyones interested, the professor is V.I.P. tonight cause he was born on this day 26 years ago.

Microbes? Get out of here with that shit and your sex fantasies faggot! As promised the Professors back with new science to drop on yall. The professor be a documented RHCT now so I gots all yous linux knowlege. Go ahead and bring it bitch!

Good morning kids!

Today's theme is Microbes! Yes, microbes are organisms of microscopic or ultramicroscopic size.

Many of them live in our guts, on our skin and inside all the major body openings!

For the most part, microbes are essential to human life, but once in a while they can kill us.

If I can get serious for a moment, I want to tell you about Shigella. Shigella is a nasty bacterium that causes shigellosis, also known as bacillary dysentery, an intestinal disease that causes many undesirable symptoms. This disease is a problem all over the world, is highly contagious, and is slowly becoming resistant to antibiotics.

Stay away from Shigella, ok kids?

Now get outta here, before I tell your parents what you have been picking up on the playground and putting in your mouth!


Mycobacterium avium complex (MAC) infection (human lung). Secondary infection to AIDS, HIV. Courtesy of Dennis Kunkel.

I have to do some journal writing for health class, and I'm gonna do it here and print it out. Ya'll are lucky enough to read my personal thoughts. Here goes.

I've not exercised in a week, and now since the weather is getter colder, who cares what I look like naked. No one is gonna see it. I read the section on sexual activity statistics in the health book, and I got a huge kick out of the results. I swear the observation about people having more sex to PBS than to prime-time is a joke. Although it is more likely that dry intellectual programs lead to sex as opposed to emotionally engaging TV dramas.

I saw the Temptress out at the bar last night. I thought to myself, "Go use your charms on someone else." She was being so sweet and nice, inquiring as to how I was and what I've been up to. Maybe I'm too paranoid but I swear that is an emotional blackmailing tactic. You see, that is how she manipulates; by being so people pleasing and helpful and selfless. Doesn't make much sense does it? But trust me, it's manipulation. The thought process of such an individual is such: "I'm giving to them so they will love me." Which means, they're not giving anything to them. They are doing this for themselves.

Now obviously I wouldn't be going on about this if I still didn't feel bitter, regretful, thankful, hopeful, and wistful about what transpired between us. I said too much. New subject.

I've been working like hell lately. The friggin' web application a bunch of errors that I found while I was working on it today. It'll take all week to fix it. I scanned and formatted the personnel handbook training modules for Ombudsman for Margaret and posted it to the ICARE website. I got to do another training module this afternoon for managers. I helped Mike move some of his stuff back from Bloomington last night, and then we went out for drinks. It was quite an accomplished day. I'll recover tonight by watching tv and masturbating, since I don't have a sexual partner at the moment. It would be funnier if it wasn't true.

Ok, I've got to get back to work. They are not paying me to blog.

My conclusions are, If you want more sex:

Buy a gun, get married, go to a baseball game and a concert, become agnostic, watch PBS and lots of TV, and become an ''extreme" liberal or consertative.

I have sexual behavior statistics from the General Social Survery (GSS).

• Married people have more sex than unmarried people.
• People who work more than 60 hours a week are about 10 percent more sexuall active than other workers.
• Americans who attend Grad school are the least sexually active out of the college student group.
• Catholics are slighty more sexually active than Protestants. Jews and agnostics are 20 percent more sexually active than either.
• Sexual activity is higher among self-described liberals than among moderates or conservatives, and it is highest among those who describe themselves as "extreme liberals" and "extreme conservatives."
• People who own guns have higher-than-average sexual frequency.
• Sexual frequency increases among those who engage in other pleasurable pursuits, such as attending concerts, sporting events, and active forms of leisure. It also increases along with television viewing. The more TV individuals watch, the more often they have sex. "It is not clear," the researchers observe, "whether the sexual response is stimulated by what is on screen, or by boredom. And for some reason, watching PBS seems more positively related with increased sexual behavior than watching regular prime-time drama."

Brilliant.

I haven't secured a job in Springfield yet, so I didn't want to sign a lease anywhere. Hey Matt, I'm gonna give you a call.

What do you need me to do Mike? I'll do it.

Way to go Mr. Clotfelter. Our evil plans are right on schedule.

Do you know how to miff a girl off? Give her a good swift kick in the cu**.

Uncle Mike,
You could have solved some of your problems by getting your own place. Then you only have to move once. Living at your folks isn't gonna get you any redheaded fun to take home!!!

Monica and Josh do it?

Hey Matt K. This is Uncle Mike. I'll give you 20 bucks and buy you dinner if you help me move some shit tonight. Whaddya say?

The Role of the Delete Key in Blog

September 29, 2003
By MICHAEL FALCONE


A recent policy change at The Sacramento Bee has raised
questions about whether taking an editor’s pen to a
Web log before it is published detracts from the nature of
"blogs."

http://www.nytimes.com/2003/09/29/technology/29blog.html?ex=1065846739&e
i=1&en=2615583ab41df1a1

I'm only having sex to circus music from now on. And I want high wires and trapeze's too. And a canon. And Elephants. Maybe a clown car with a dozen clowns, I'm not sure.

Or maybe John Philips Souza. That's what Monica and Josh do it to, so the neighbors say.

I'm listening to the postal service right now Matt.

There's comes a point in time when you need to separate sex from indie rock. Postal Service is sitting right on top of that point. Haven't you guys ever heard of Barry White?

I went to Macdonold's to get some burritos, and these two girls were beating the crap out of each other at the bus stop. One of them saw me driving by, so she kicked the other girl's book bag into the street, hoping the I would run it over.

Now how the hell did I get dragged into that conflict?

I will make my triumphant return draped in an American flag, and wearing my custom made "mark prior is a homo" t-shirt. All to the tune of "nimrod son" by the pixies.

Good luck in the playoffs cubbies. I hope you get shellaked!

well i got my 2 hours of sleep. time to start blogging.

it's not that i don't want to come home.

1. the thought of becoming a manager at a restraunt is thorougly depressing. ( i can't spell now: sleep deprivation)

2. i don't want to clean up all the dog shit in the room i'll be staying in.

3. living with my parents means i have to start wearing pants and acting like a normal human being again.

4. i'm gonna miss the red head chick. the last couple of weeks she started to warm up to me

5. moving is just depressing

6. isu girls are neurotically fucked up and most of them got great tushies. i'm gonna miss em.

I am looking forward to spending more time with friend and family though, and am axiously awaiting lunches at the holy land.

or maybe, just maybe i'll be struck by a train at a railroad crossing.


I prefer the duck.

I am going to be crushed to death by a Giant Duck!!!

Uncle Mike,
is it that you don't want to come home?
what is it?

I will be struck down by a meteor!



How will you die? Take the Exotic Cause of Death Test

Alright. I've been bored and now I'm drinking. Problem solved.

Eric is on his way over for some conversation and whiskey. Does anyone here like the postal service? That is the name of a band we used to have sex to. It's sentimental. Can sex be sentimental? It's more physical than an emotion. can Emotions be physical? What about emoticons? You know, the yellow faces that express cute emotions in email. Yeah.

"I ain't no god damn son of a bitch. you better think about it, baby." What were the Misfits trying to say? I like it. It's edgy.

Shhh. Can you hear that?

Springfield is holding it's breath tonight waiting for Mike's return.

Either that or Springfield is constipated and straining to get rid of these Route 66'ers.

Jesus Beavers!

leaving bloomington has been like a bad break-up for me. everything i do reminds me of something and makes me feel like shit. i can't even take a piss in the neighbors bushes without reminding me of the time i got shook down by the bpd for pubic urination. i'm in a state bro's and monica.

I was looking forward to kicking him out.

I'm on a roll, folks. Somebody butter me.

I'm telling your mom you pushed me in a pile of leaves, Mike. You're gonna be in trouble.

Eric can't get on our blog to post. He is having "technical difficulties" with logging in. It's sad because I was looking forward to his contribution to the Wily Beaver.

The five colors blind the eye.
The five tones deafen the ear.
The five flavors dull the taste.
Racing and hunting madden the mind.
Precious things lead one astray.

Therefore the sage is guided by what he feels and not by what he sees.
He lets go of that and chooses this.

Tao Te Ching, Chapter 12

Mcluhan would take this verse, including the lines "The five colors blind the eye. The five tones deafen the ear," and relate it to television medium. He might say that, after the television was invented, after it was "turned on," and now that it can not be "turned off," we have been mesmorized by its visual and audio sensory output. We have become "blind" to actual reality in favor of the "five colors" and "five tones." Case in point, the California Recall. Arnold could be governor because he comes across well on TV. Politics is so much a "reality" show, except we don't get to see the producer telling the participants what to say and do.

My masters project revolves around the automation of the scholarship application process, and part of my literature review will discuss the activities and jobs such automation eliminates.

I'm going to include a section on the "paperless office" in my paper, examining the effect technology is having on the flow of information in businesses.

The term "paperless office" is misleading, because paper is not going to disappear, but rather be supplemented by the computer monitor. Ink printers are just as necessary as pixelated screens and the Times New Roman font.

I plan to include information about the transition to and increasing use of Information Technology (IT) in governement and businesses.

Take a look at the E-Government Act of 2002 and the Paperwork Reduction Act of 1995. Their purpose is to "encourage agencies to find ways to make government more responsive to citizens in the reduction of burden through the collection of information." In other words, to make use of the efficiencies that technologies such as the Internet, web sites, email, and databases have to offer.

Related Notes:
"networks and the Internet have been the key in this regard--with e-mail as the single most important development." (Larry Seltzer , What ever happened to the paperless office?)

'It is no longer about paper or browsers on desktops, it is about making visually rich, reliable information available anywhere, any time, on any device.'
Bruce Chizen, president and chief executive of publishing software firm Adobe
(Moving towards a paperless office
By Martin Banks, ITWeek
26 April 2001)

God damn you Marshall, I love you.

"A Passage to India (the phrase is from Whitman, who saw America headed Eastward) is a parable of Western man in the electric age, and is only incidentally related to Europe or the Orient. The ultimate conflict between sight and sound, between written and oral kinds of perception and organization of existence is upon us. Since understanding stops action, as Nietzsche observed, we can moderate the fierceness of this conflict by understanding the media that extend us and raise these wars within and without us. "

The Medium Is the Message
Marshall McLuhan

WWWWD

What would Walt Whitman do?

Logarithmic Spirals Isabel and M51
Credit: Comparison and M51 image copyright Brian Lula; Hurricane Isabel, courtesy GHCC, NASA

Explanation: Uncomfortably close hurricane Isabel (left) and 30 million light-year distant galaxy M51 actually don't have much in common. For starters, Isabel was hundreds of miles across, while M51 (the Whirlpool Galaxy) spans about 50,000 light-years making them vastly dissimilar in scale, not to mention the extremely different physical interactions which control their formation and evolution. But they do look amazingly alike, both exhibiting the shape of a simple and beautiful mathematical curve known as a logarithmic spiral, a spiral whose separation grows in a geometric way with increasing distance from the center. Also known as the equiangular spiral, growth spiral, and Bernoulli's spiral or spira mirabilis, this curve's rich properties have fascinated mathematicians since its discovery by 17th century philosopher Descartes. Intriguingly, this abstract shape is much more abundant in nature than suggested by the striking visual comparison above. Logarithmic spirals also describe, for example, the arrangement of sunflower seeds, the shapes of nautilus shells, and ... cauliflower.

Just call me Dr. October. I'll be back in that bee-yatch starting nexx month.

I am not the same person I was when I left. I am now closer to 8 years old. So don't be alarmed when you see me kicking a rock down the middle of the street, blowing bubbles with my spit, humming some made up song about a giant bird.

favorite fall activity: pushing little girls in piles of leaves, or pushing Matt Komanecky in a pile of leaves. Basically, anything to disrupt a pile of leaves is ok in my book.

Have you guys read my book? It's titled, "Can Walt Whitman Do This?" Anyway. Thanks for listening Beavers. gotta go!

Sooooo, josh got to meet mr. and mrs. n5 yesterday. he got to spend several hours with them.
Mrs. N5 told Josh that she and Mr. N5 were like second parents to me so he had to be nice to them. lol!!

Mattie you ready for a test?

You're right Matt, the morning is plain fucking awful. I've been up since five and don't know what the hell is going on.

Some people call the mind a prison, I call it an anchovie. But I've been having irregular sleep patterns, and am not thinking rugularly.

What is a radio psychic? Do they have to live in a 360 degree revolving dome house?

The chilly weather reminds me of snuggling up in my loving home and doing quiet activities like reading, watching movies, drawing, or playing video games. That feeling of nostalgia washed over me this morning like a dream.

The prison that you create in your mind is the cruelest place.

i'm gonna go jump in some leaves. and put on a sweater. and feel up some chick wearing corduroys.

I have to change my email password. Damn.

I love this computer jargon dictionary. It has tons of computer programmer terms and hacker lingo that is as amusing as it is informative. For example:

featurectomy /fee`ch*r-ek't*-mee/ n.

The act of removing a feature from a program. Featurectomies come in two flavors, the `righteous' and the `reluctant'. Righteous featurectomies are performed because the remover believes the program would be more elegant without the feature, or there is already an equivalent and better way to achieve the same end. (Doing so is not quite the same thing as removing a misfeature.) Reluctant featurectomies are performed to satisfy some external constraint such as code size or execution speed.

Bloggo!

Ah, sweet menthols. Yes, fall is a inspiring and reflective time, especially when Tom Petty is on the radio.
I just talked to Monica on her way out of her class. She stayed up untill 3 talking with Josh. I wonder what they talked about. Maybe they discussed the indescribable feeling of nostalgia created by the oncoming fall all night.

a blog devoted to your nostalgia.

great

Good Monday, friends and confidants. I stayed sober all weekend. Can you imagine?

You're one in a million dick.

Some people just don't know how to do research on the Internet.

It's not like I remember the name of the movie. What am I - some kind of computer? Just look up "ricci" and "sweet panties" on google.