Check out Neck Face ya'll. His work is sane.

Have any of you beavers been paying attention to this Neck Face artist? He's graffiti man coming out of Boston. Anyway, I think we should put some of his graffiti up on the blog.

Why don't you get started on that Matt K?

I took an on-line questionnaire to figure out which candidate I have to vote for, and the results are in. Apparently I really like John Kerry, but I also like Bush.

Are you really Howard Dean?

LOVE AND TRACTORS
Did you love a tractor? Have you fallen in love on a tractor? We want to hear you love & tractor stories. Send us your story at ....

Ok. that's more like it.

YOUR PRINCESS MOMENT
Send us a story of when you were acting like a princess and you could win a PRINCESS DIARIES library, five books, signed by the author Meg Cabot! Send us your story at...

Ok. that is insane.

I didn't know you were operating on two blogs Beaver Dean.

How come I was never invited to this other blog, and is the answer to that last question "because you are afraid I'll take over as most popular blogger?"

Anyway. wh't's the url on th's oth'r bl"g? And are th'y as big on contr'action's as we are on t'his blog?

"I never knew anyone from Saskatchewan who didn't know how to dial a telephone." Author, unkown song on the radio.

I like Zen Buddhism.

In Zen Buddhism you can say one thing definitively and mean the exact opposite at the same time, like "less is more."

What?

"Always keep a diamond in your mind." Wait, that was Tom Waits, but it is kind of Zen.

"I am overrun by tiny ants, crawling on my arms as I rest my wrists on the keyboard." That is for real, not Zen at all. I really do have ants crawling everywhere at my work.

Another reason I haven't been blogging is because I've been a bit depressed due to the fact that I haven't had sex in a long time and my Grandpa died.

So If any of you beavers know somebody who could help me out with a hummer, or bring my Grandpa back to life, that would be great.

Does anyone have any suggestions for some good pirate movies? I just got done watching Pirates of Silicon Valley and Pirates - a film by Roman Polanski.

Next on my list is Ice Pirates and The Pirates and The Jews Invade Cairo - recommeded by my good Arab friend from my Job - Faruk.

Faruk's pretty cool. He's always trying to convince everybody at work that he's not an Iraqi or a terrorist. It's really funny.

I see Howard Dean has joined our Blog. I think that's wonderful. I would like to take this oppurtunity to challenge him to an arm wrestling match. ? No. On second thought I think it would be wiser to challenge him to a long jump competition. Yee ha!

I like John Kerry. He reminds me of the second step-father that I never had. However, I agree with the commercials that are attacking Kerry for not being good at national defense. I'm afraid that if he does become president he will fly an airplane into a major building. I'm think something like that might have a devestating affect on the moral of Americans.

Speaking of the morale of Americans, whatever happened to all the pro-war rallies?

Nice job Monica! You're really pushing out the nieces and nephews.

I apologize for my absence from the beav, but I had another horrible farming accident and had to wait for my fingers to grow back.

For those of you keeping track that's twice that's happened.

Congratulations.... I'm an aunt!! (again)

It's always good to start out with a plan to lose
that way they can truly call themselves losers

They could have. But that would ruin there plans to lose the election.

and last, but certainly most least (hmmm)

Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday dear Michael............. Happy birthday to you................

is anybody here a resume expert? (not you Matt--I know YOU aren't)

aren't friends supposed to be "flowers. beautiful flowers"?

I second that.


On another topic, here's one of my pet peeves.
I hate it when people say, "Can I ask you a favor?"
It really irritates me. Why don't they just ask me the fucking question? I'll either say yes or no. Are they poorly trying to trick me into continuing to say yes to whatever they say after that? After I allow them to ask me for the favor does that set a precedence that I must now agree to said favor in some sort of weird social contract? From now on when ever someone says that to me I'm just going to say no. NO NO NO!

BORING!!

Oh my Dearest Matt,
I thank thee for thoust promptest reply. However, I haft decideth to go forthwith a song entitled "We Are (eth) thy World" The elements of persuasion are abounding (if that's a word) in thus song.
Have a most Beauticious day.
Yours Sincerely,
Monica

Sisco - The Thong Song: Persuades women across America to show everyone there underwear. (Wearing thongs is more acceptable and popular now)

"(Whoa)
She had dumps like a truck truck truck
Thighs like what what what
Baby move your butt butt butt
(Ooh)

CHORUS

(I like it when the beat goes da na da na)
(Baby make your booty go da na da na)
(Girl I know you wanna show da na da na)
(That thong th thong thong thong)"

Prince - 1999: Convinces the listener to hurry up and party before the new year's bash ends and we all die.

"If U didn't come 2 party, don't bother knockin' on my door
I got a lion in my pocket and, baby, he's ready 2 roar (Yeah)
Everybody's got a bomb, we could all die any day (Oh)
But before I let that happen, I'll dance my life away
Oh, they say 2000 zero zero party over, oops, out of time!
(We're runnin' out of time)
So 2night I'm gonna party like it's 1999! (We gonna, we gonna, oh!)
Say it one more time
2000 zero zero party over, oops, out of time! (No, no)"

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

That is all I have to say today.

I need help quickly. I need lyrics to a song. Any song where the lyrics are persuasive will do..... can anybeave help? PLEASE!!!

no howard. I'm not pissed. Didn't you read..... Monica doesn't get pissed.

"If Monica doesn't get pissed, how can she not like Howard Dean?" - Howard Dean

Did I piss you off somehow?

Dear Howard Dean,
Fuck off... Monica doesn't get pissed. (Did I type that out loud?)

"Wow! Sounds like Monica's fucking pissed!" - Howard Dean

On another note, I'd like to invite all my supporters to vote for John Kerry. Yes, he viciously attacked me on several occasions but now I suprisingly support him. Who would have seen that one coming? Not I says the wise old owl.

Whoa Whoa Whoa! CAREFUL!! What do you mean?
This Josh guy is only the most fantastic man I've ever met.
AND you should never start a sentence with and.
And was last night the first night you had ever met Billy? He is the funniest guy!

Who the hell is this Josh guy? I mean, where did he come from? And to whence is he going? And will he even vote in this year's election?

John Kerry went to mass in his ski outfit!

I say "No sir, that's bad fucking sauce." - Howard Dean

Here's something that was on my blog:

~Top Reasons to Vote Kerry List~

1.He has an FBI file.
2.He has big hair.
3.He was great in "The Lord of the Rings".
4.He can talk out of both sides of his mouth at the same time,without moving his eyebrows.(now THAT'S talent)
5.He cusses like a drunken sailor.(I can relate to that)
6.He most likely can speak in complete and understandable sentences.
7.He is taller than a shrub.
8.He can speak 3 foreign languages flawlessy,as well as broken English.
9.He most likely does not lick himself;thus avoiding those hazardous hairballs.(had to be there)
10.His wife has balls.(tough chicks ROCK!!)
11.He wears a pink tie.
12.He's better than a grilled cheese sandwich.(that's a matter of opinion.)
13.He has a good arm for throwing things over fences.
14.He has great balance..."You son of a bit*h!"
15.As much as he likes ketchup,he never puts it on his hot dogs.(I can respect that)
16.He can watch TV and eat pretzels at the same time.
17.He's a cure for insomnia.
and last but not least...
18.He already has a memorial on Easter Island!

Remember to check my DFA site!!!

Mattie--

I have a picture for you from Ebben's Halloween Party. Don't let me forget to give it to you.

Yeah... he's a crazy fuckin guy!!
(howard dean.... not my dad)

I love this new Howard Dean.

"Happy fucking birthday Monica's dad!" - Howard Dean

Today is my dad's 60th birthday. Happy Birthday POPS!!!

Howard Dean has become very vulgar and cynical if I may say so.
He should lay off the "f" word.

"Fuck you and your Heinz condiments!" -Howard Dean

"Can I speak to your fry cook?" - Howard Dean

"These fuck*** corndogs cost too much!"

Here is a little Howard Dean humor for all you wiley beavers out there........

Dean is a doctor but he acts more like a postal worker!" —Jay Leno

Did you see Howard Dean ranting and raving? Here's a little tip Howard — cut back on the Red Bull." —David Letterman

Howard Dean finished in third — his lead lasted about as long as Britney Spears' marriage." —Craig Kilborn

Hello Beavers
Thanks to everyone for the birthday cards. I truly appreciate it. This is the only time of the year when I feel that I can expect Attention from everyone. I love it. The memphis trip was okay. The weather was beautiful.

As for Howard Dean at the cozy dog.... i hope he was able to illicit many illinois voters in to promising him their votes.

Was he swearing profusely like John Kerry?

Beavers!!! You're never going to guess who I saw today at the Cozy Dog. It was Howard Dean. He was making a scene - apparently all riled up about the price of corn dogs. Man does he ever have a pair of lungs.

Some dumb whore once told me men were dogs, so I guess I should be aroused by both smells.

The sewage treatment plant must be the sexiest place on earth!

Dogs are more sexually aroused by the smell of butt then humans are. That's the birds and bees for you.

Men are more sexually aroused by water then women are. I'm going to go get a glass of water right now.

OFFICIAL BIRTHDAY COUNTDOWN:

6 days

All cards can be addressed to

Monica Maher
808 S MacArthur Blvd
Springfield, IL 62704

Thank you.

assuming that Mike is the MPB... I called you and didn't leave a message like you called me 3 times friday night and didn't leave a message. I tried answering and you hung up on me the first time. The second time you just didn't say anything. the third time i didn't answer so you could leave a message and you didn't.
WHAT WAS UP WITH THAT???

I trust all of you have been watching the Last Temptation of Christ tonight on Bravo.

I certainly learned something after watching that film, and that is if your gaurdian angel convinces you to get back together with your old whore girlfriend, then she's probably not your gaurdian angel. She's probably Satan.

Have you numb skulls been reading bianca's diary lately? In one of her entries she complains about guys because she's always on the bottom when she fucks, and all the guys she fucks being too heavy, and she's got bruises and is sore all the time. Cry me a river baby! Why doesn't she ride in the front seat every now and then.

Am I right? Yeah?

It's that time of the month again when I think we should all vote for our favorite beaver.

The one who gets the most votes will be given the title: "most popular beaver." Since I am the administator of this god forsaken blog I will be the only one to vote.

Too bad for rest of you but that's the rules.

Hey kids!

It's that time of the month again for me to pretend like I give a damn about the blog. Here's some stupid garbage I've thought up.

Joke #1 Why don't ducks wear pants? Because if they did, then Monica wouldn't think they look funny.

Joke #2 Why did Monica call me up this morning and not leave a message. Because she saw a duck not wearing any pants and started laughing so hard she forgot she called me!

oh shit.... funny

Women are more sexually aroused by fire than men are. That's just the truth.

You do not need to see my identification.
This is not the droid you are looking for.

So Matt, are you going to be attending the lecture by Kennedy at UIS tomorrow?

sorry to disappoint. I was becoming emotionally disturbed whenever I logged on and there were no responses or no new blogs. I just can't handle rejection.

What the fuck?

I participated and this is how I found out?

Shame on you Monica...Shame on you.

And finally folks.... I need volunteers to partcipate in an interview session. I will be posting several questions on the blog in the next week or so and need some feedback. This will be for one of my classes. I appreciate any help.

PS---My birthday is in exactly 12 days (incase anybody forgot or cares). Gifts may be forwarded to Memphis, Tennessee as that is where I will be celebrating my day of birth.

now i ask you..... how do you feel without the boy of the week blog?
I must admit.... I am NOT that sad.
Mike wasn't really actively looking for a roommate anyway.

I was attempting to start a cult with the boy of the week blog. But, alas...nobody joined. I was unable to retain members. I have therefore decided to shut down the boy of the week blog forever!!

*POOF* it is done.

I'm so sad....so lonely....

Monica, please! Lead me! Guide me through these dark times!

I want in your cult Monica. I'm very vulnerable right now, and have money to burn.

Here is a sample of the idiot's in my computer ethics class:

"I think that it is morally wrong to mess with people's minds."

"Rigging an election ballot is dishonest, deceiving, and an intrusion."


How did two year olds get into a graduate level college course?

So what did you come up with Monica?

Yesterday in my Social Psych class, we got into groups and each group was to come up with a list of A) ways to become an effective cult leader B)ways to retain cult members
C) a list of characteristics of a good cult leader and D) where to go to find members for your cult (what type of people you would recruit
That was the greatest fun ever.
David Koresh has nothing on me!!

Matt,
I am ALWAYS paying attention.
Most commercials (truth.com or not) are biased. They are always going to show you stats to support their beliefs. It is good for you that you realize that so that you may make an informed decision every time!

Very good Monica! Glad to see you are paying attention.

Brian has a good point, too. Those truth.com commercials exxagerately claim that secondhand smoke is this horrible epidemic responsible for lung cancer. They shape the statistics to support their claims. Really, it is to shock people to get their attention, just like MADD does.

you just made that up!!

isn't THAT a statistic?

75% of statistics are made up on the spot.

The stakes are high this election year.

Pollster John Zogby: “This is an Armageddon election. Each side is saying, ‘You elect the other side, and it's the end of the world.' In that kind of a situation, it's very difficult to see Nader getting many votes.”

I found that quote funny. Armageddon is hilarious.

Sorry, I stole this. I really hate what this organization is doing to our civil liberties:

MADD (and NHTSA) grossly overexaggerate [motorists.org] their claims [madd.org] of "drunk driving accidents," which are really alcohol-related accidents (a misleading statistic used by NHTSA [dot.gov]). Did you know that if you, while 100% sober, hit a drunk pedestrian, it counts as an alcohol-related accident? Or did you know that if you get in an accident and EVERYONE is sober (driver, pedestrian, passengers), you can still be counted as alcohol-related due to the statistical correction [dot.gov] that NHTSA uses, since only 63% of drivers [dot.gov] are tested for their BAC level!

MADD claims that 0.08 BAC reduction saves lives, yet a study by NHTSA found no proof of such reduction [dot.gov] after North Carolina enacted the lower BAC limit: "There appears to have been little clear effect of the lower BAC limit in North Carolina. Survey data
indicate that the general public believes the new law was well-publicized. Although awareness of the new
lower limit was not particularly high nearly 18 months after the law took effect, frequent drinkers did
evidence a substantial degree of awareness that the law had changed and about what the new BAC limit
was. As is typical in North Carolina, enforcement of the lower limit was vigorous and strict."

MADD wants to lower the BAC limit lower and lower, to 0.05. It claims victory over the 0.08 law over the previous 0.10 standard. However, it has been found [uiowa.edu] that "the
relative risk [of being in a traffic accident while using a cell-phone] is similar to the
hazard associated with driving with a blood alcohol level at the legal limit." The legal limit in that paper was 0.10 BAC. Another interesting note is that "These data also call into question driving regulations that prohibit handheld
cell-phones and permit hands-free cell-phones, because no significant differences in
the impairments caused by these two cellular devices were found.", but that's another topic of conversation.

Point is, why do they want to keep lowering the BAC when it has been shown that the vast majority [dot.gov] of drunk driving accidents occurs with drivers with over 0.10 BAC, and that below that, it's as risky as using a cell phone? Why is MADD targeting low-BAC-level drivers, such as 0.08 (and as they hope 0.05), with huge fines, property confiscation, loss of driver license, and obscene insurance surcharges? MADD wants to bully states [www.ridl.us] into the 0.08 BAC law by passing legislation that threatens their funding.

Furthermore, when NHTSA's accident data was loaded in a database and independent statistics [www.ridl.us] were ran on it, the massive exaggerations were exposed. Quote from the previous link: "Through the use of this tool we were able to discover that across the entire country NHTSA nearly doubles the number of instances of drunk drivers. And this is prior to them implementing their "Multiple Imputation" methodology which adds in more numbers for "unknowns"." Take the stats on my state [www.ridl.us], Massachusetts. While NHTSA claimed that there were 160 drunk drivers, 113 of those drivers were listed with no proof!

So there you have it. Twisted statistics (they are careful to say "accidents related to alcohol," but everyday man reads as "drunk drivers"), constant agenda to lower BAC more and more despite the lack of proof.

One last lie commonly perpetuated by MADD (and NHTSA) is are the year-to-year comparison stats. Every year MADD claims [madd.org] that we have more and more alcohol-related (a deliberately misleading statistic [www.ridl.us]) accidents: 17,380 in 2000, 17,400 in 2001, 17,419 in 2002. The outcry is "more and more people are dying!" The truth is that there are more cars on the road in 2002 than there were in 2000. And obviously, the more cars, the more accidents! (it's like, "no shit, there are more cancer deaths in United States than Switzerland!") NHTSA publishes the vehicle miles traveled: in 2000 2,749,803,000,000 [dot.gov] VMT, in 2001 2,781,462,000,000 [dot.gov] VMT, in 2002 2,855,756,000,000 [dot.gov] VMT. So if we use a meaningful figure, such as number of alcohol-related accidents per billion vehicle miles traveled, then we get: 2000 had 6.32, 2001 had 6.26, and 2002 had 6.10! So in truth, the percentage of alcohol-related deaths compared to miles traveled has decreased in the last three years! Sure, the decrease is not much, but you see how these statistics are taken out of context.

Other than Ancient Greek history, I have a facscination with the idea of a liberal radio network. It is not happening for many reasons. Do you know why? It is not as simple as "because nobody cares", since many do care. It is mainly political.

Happy Birthday Mom.

I'm studying the life of Alexander the Great by watching anime. It is about as reliable as the pre-literate oral story tradition or the Bible.

But you know what, stories are not about the facts of what happened, but the conclusions that the listener draws from them.

"The mind is an organism that will make patterns. It doesn't care if there are no real patterns to be had. We make conclusions to stories all by ourselves." - Bob Deutsch, cognitive anthropologist

I use YAhoo IM now.

mattkomanecky is my screen name. I think we should all dump this blog and get an instant messenger service.

I vote for yahoo, but am willing to change.

I wouldn't want to force myself upon others. If they have something to say to me I'm sure they will.

matt komanecky has instant messenger so does mike mann
matt is kinglouis something and mike is mjmann or something like that.
You should check into it.

Who uses AOL instant messenger?

Anyone?

I'm gbg41977 if anyone is interested, doubtful as it may be.

Matt parked his car backwards today and lo and behold, his car made friends. He had friends on either side of his car. Experiment complete.

YOU GUYS ARE SOOO BORING!!!!!
You stress me out

I am going to start taking YOGA classes.

Gay bishop: 'It is about God's love'
"It's not just about sexuality. It's not about homosexuality," he said. "It is about God's unbounded love. It is about a God who loves us beyond our wildest imaginings. Why are people so angry that God's love might be extended to folks like me, and folks like you?"

"We want an action hero to take charge, to protect us and lead us to victory," says Ava Cadell, a clinical sexologist

I mean really folks, who doesn't want the title "sexologist" on their resume.

That is why it would be plausible to have a woman president. As long as she is really hot, men will vote for her.

I looked up "Lisa Madigan sexy ATTORNEY GENERAL" in google and found the following quote in the Chicago Sun-Times:

"LISA MADIGAN, STATE ATTORNEY GENERAL

Daddy's little girl is all grown up. If she'd just take off those glasses ... well, she has, and she still reminds us of our school librarian. Our sexy school librarian."

WISER, PAIGE. "The 'It' Factor." Chicago Sun-Times. January 7, 2004. http://www.chicagosuntimes.com/output/lifestyles/cst-ftr-politician07.html


GRRRR! She's hot!

Matt, you were supposed to back your car in to your normal spot today (friday) to try our experiment. Do it monday? AND park in your usual spot or we'll never know if it is the spot or the backing in. Okay?

Is anyone going out tonight? Or something?

and finally folks, I discovered the recipe last night for Pizza Hut Pizza Dough.
Homemade pizza's abound. I'll let you know how it is and maybe invite you over to share. But you have to be good little boys and beavers.

the boy of the week blog doesn't say "My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard..."
so what are you gonna do about it?

well, my car likes your car when it's being nice. She (my princess) doesn't appreciate being made fun of.

Or is my car a boy?

Monica, I don't understand my car. We are of different generations, and I just don't know how to talk to her.

Maybe you could just keep parking next to her. She is always in a more sociable mood when she has your car to talk to.

(I think maybe because my car makes fun of your car for stalling in the middle of 5th street traffic. That's called leveling, when you make fun of others to bring them down to your level.)

I checked out the blogosphere and The Wily Beaver is the only blog without the phrase, "My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard..."

So there. All fixed.

Matt Komanecky's car has bad feng sh ----way or something. It is always alone in the parking lot. Ne'r a car around. Sometimes I park there just so the car doesn't feel lonely. Matt doesn't seem too concerned about this, But I am. Maybe his car needs an intervention or something.????

Matt Komanecky says "blogging is soooooooooo last year"

Well, you don't want to be a whales penis...do you?????

Having never been a whales penis, I can say I sure do like some cheese ravioli once and a while.