I haven't worn underwear in three days. Have you guys noticed?

My powers of observation infinitely superior to everyone's else's combined.

Matt K used to be my best friend, now he is my least favorite friend. Life is funny that way.

But I am much funnier then life could ever dream to be. Fuck you life, your not as funny as me.

I have the worst hangover ever, and I'm handling it like a champ. On a scale of 1 to five, my hangover is a number so high that is cannot be fathomed by even the papalcy. And I'm dealing with it with a even larger number. So fuck you inferior numbers.